Ursus im Reich der Amazonen

When leading-man Rod Taylor passed away last year, I remembered his excellent performances in 'The Birds' and 'The Time Machine', and how his charm, good looks and manner could lift very good films such as those to greatness. I was also pleased that for his final role, he got to be in a very fine picture such as 'Inglourious Basterds', playing Winston Churchill--that he was able to end his career on a high-note, which sadly, is the exception rather than the rule. 'Colossus and the Amazon Queen' is an example of where he made an otherwise fun but terrible movie watchable--and that's another fine quality of a gifted thespian. Especially if you are a fan of Taylor's work, the intriguing way that Italian actors made swords-and-sandals' epics ad nauseum from the late-50's to early-60's, when they would become infatuated with the 'spaghetti western', these 94 minutes will be time modestly well-spent.

Seeing this film credit for Rod Taylor sandwiched in between The Time Machine and The Birds made me wonder just who was this guy's agent at the time and how come Rod Taylor got roped into this one? He had the look of a man who was happy with his trip to Italy for Colossus And The Amazon Queen and the satisfied look of a man whose paycheck for the film just cleared the bank.

Rod Taylor and Italian muscle dude star Ed Fury are a buddy team in this film, Rod does the thinking and Ed the heavy lifting when needed. Rod unfortunately cons Fury the way Crosby used to con Hope and thanks to Rod's machinations, the two of them and a whole lot of other guys who were galley slaves on a ship wind up slaves to a tribe of Amazons.

Now this race of woman does occasionally have need of men and their services and for that the hunkier they are, the better purchase price they get. In fact Rod can't close the deal unless Fury is part of the package.

Unfortunately after a night of bliss the men get themselves taken to slave in the salt mines. The ones who don't quite measure in the hunk department end up as house servants. This was one really lame attempt at gay stereotyping.

Colossus And The Amazon Queen plays like an overlong episode of the old Hercules series with Kevin Sorbo. As we all know Rod Taylor still salvaged a career after appearing in this. That in itself was the biggest miracle associated with this film.

Just as his Hollywood career was shifting up into high gear, Australia's Rod Taylor took a brief and utterly bizarre sidetrack when he arrived in Italy to shoot a sword and sandal (or, as it could be more accurately described, a "sword and shambles") debacle titled Colossus and the Amazon Queen (1960). It was probably the weirdest and most incongruous entry into Taylor's long and extremely varied CV; a film so unlike any other that he ever made (thank goodness). Indeed, he later tried to avoid even discussing it when the subject arose - a situation that anyone could understand after they had seen it.

To start with, there is no "Colossus" anywhere in the picture, not even a passing reference to such a character. "Our Rod" (as he was fondly referred to in his homeland) co-stars opposite muscle man Ed Fury as the duo play a couple of gladiators (Pirro and Glauco respectively) who are captured by Amazon women. They quickly fall in love (with the Amazons that is.... not with each other... although..) and save the girls from some evil pirates (as distinct from the usual variety of good, well-meaning pirates).

Dubbed into English (even the obviously English - speaking stars were dubbed !), it's a genre-crossing, gender - bending, role- reversing hodgepodge of the most head - spinning type. Apparently intended to be some sort of action/ thriller/ comedy, it features a partly boogie-woogie soundtrack, a modern jazz ballet , an orgy scene and a Western style cavalry charge at the climax (complete with covered wagons). The Amazons have gay male servants who spend much of their time tut-tutting about the mess that their female superiors make around the villa and even Taylor and Fury have some fun with a few fruity bits along the way. Presumably, it was supposed to be a send up of.....something.... But, unfortunately, most of it is about as funny as a serious outbreak of cholera. However, it does seem that Rod was there to provide the comic relief. Not that it was a big job given the fact that it's frequently near - impossible to tell where the laughs are meant to end and the drama begins. But it's only Taylor's knack for visual comedy and his priceless double takes that make the whole thing even remotely watchable. The two stars couldn't speak a word of Italian and none of the girls spoke English. Years later he explained his reason for taking the job to a magazine writer ..." I was having an affair with Anita Ekberg at the time and it gave me an excuse to get a free airline ticket to go over to Italy to see her ".

"Ed Fury stars as Glauco, the strongest man in Greece who finds himself the unwilling member of an expedition across the seas. His pal Pirro (Rod Taylor) accepts money from a band of pirates in return for Glauco's undeniable muscle. When they land, they are drugged and captured by a race of Amazons. Only Glauco escapes and falls in love with the fair Antiope. After considerable action and intrigue, the Amazons and Greeks learn to get along," according to the DVD sleeve's synopsis.

Re-titled "Colossus and the Amazon Queen" for English language listeners, this "sword and sandal" epic benefits by not taking itself too seriously. Bulging in all the right places, Mr. Fury is a blond Adonis-like hero. While Fury strikes the correct light-hearted tone, the more accomplished co-starring Mr. Taylor seems uncertain about the sexual preference assigned his character. He acts gay, but goes for breast-popping Daniela Rocca (as Melitta) over Fury, who digs delectable Dorian Gray.

***** La regina delle Amazzoni (9/8/60) Vittorio Sala ~ Ed Fury, Rod Taylor, Daniela Rocca, Dorian Gray

The music score, which ranges from boogie-woogie to a sort of sleazy Vegas romance music, cues you in right away that this is not a movie to be taken seriously. Rod Taylor (as a sort of low-life grifter) and Ed Fury (his muscle-man pal) find themselves prisoners of a tribe of man hungry amazons. Gender bending comedy abounds (male prisoners who've grown accustomed to their fate exchange recipes and complain about not getting their laundry "sparkling", all with swishy mannerisms and camp voices --- very un-PC and funny as hell) along with low-brow slapstick. Viewers tuning in to a movie entitled COLOSSUS AND THE AMAZON QUEEN expecting thoughtful, serious drama will of course be disappointed. Those with more realistic expectations may find this a delight.