Pepe - Was kann die Welt schon kosten

It seems as if the 195-minute print of this all-star oddity has forever been pulled from circulation. However the remaining 157-minute version is quite long enough. This movie has always been made fun of, but as misguided as it is, it is still entertaining, if only because it is so crammed full of guest appearances.

Here's who you get: Greer Garson trying to buy a prize horse; Edward G. Robinson playing himself though he is seen here as a famous film producer; Ernie Kovacs as an immigration inspector; William Demarest as a studio gate keeper; Zsa Zsa Gabor reading a copy of "The Interns" to promote Columbia's upcoming film version; Bing Crosby signing Cantinflas's tortilla and joining him in a few lines of "South of the Border"; Jay North playing Dennis the Menace; Billie Burke hitting Charles Coburn with a slingshot; Jack Lemmon dressed as Daphne from "Some Like It Hot" in a bizarre sequence involving a parking lot; Andre Previn at the piano while Bobby Darin sings a terrific number called "That's How It Went, All Right"; Michael Callan, Shirley Jones, and Matt Mattox doing a sizzling dance called "The Rumble"; Judy Garland (heard but not seen) singing "The Faraway Part of Town" on the radio; Ann B. Davis playing her "Shultzy" character from "The Bob Cummings Show" but here assigned to working as Edward G. Robinson's secretary; Donna Reed making cutesy banter with Dan Dailey about her then-current TV series; a trip to the Sands Casino in Las Vegas where we see Peter Lawford and Richard Conte standing around in the lobby, Sammy Davis Jr. doing impressions to "Hooray for Hollywood", Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin gambling, Cesar Romero hanging out at the slot machines, a dejected Jimmy Durante losing at cards, and Joey Bishop saying "son of a gun"; Hedda Hopper boarding a plane; a ghastly sequence in which a miniature Debbie Reynolds drunkenly dancing with Cantinflas on Dan Dailey's desktop to "Tequila"; a delightful moment when Dailey and Cantinflas join Maurice Chevalier in dancing to "Mimi"; Janet Leigh being surprised in the bathtub the same year as her "Psycho" shower; Tony Curtis getting pushed into an indoor pool; and Kim Novak giving advice on buying a wedding ring.

Somehow I find this hodgepodge strangely irresistible.

I really want to write something good about this movie. I can't, though. I only saw it once, and once was more than enough. I was a teenager in Denver, Colorado, when "Pepe" previewed for the first time before an audience. A passel of studio bigwigs showed up at the Centre Theatre that evening, including, I believe, producer and director George Sidney. Cantinflas was a no-show; maybe he knew something.

Did you ever attend a movie where the audience greets it with...dead silence? Not the kind of silence for something cerebral, such as "2001: A Space Odyssey", but the kind of silence that lets you know you are watching a very slow, very long train wreck. And there were roughly 1,200 really silent people that night fifty years ago.

So why did I stick it out through the whole thing? Easy. The cameos. I would start looking for the exit when Edward G. Robinson would appear. Wow! This picture's got to get better now. Wrong. Ditto for Ernie Kovacs, and so on.

Since I viewed the preview print, I believe I saw the full 195 minute version. So what did the studio cut for general release? The only thing I clearly remember departing was a long, misbegotten animated sequence.

In retrospect I feel sorry for George Sidney, director of "The Harvey Girls", the 1948 "Three Musketeers", and "Kiss Me Kate". But the industry had changed a lot by 1960. He did his best to keep up, but "Pepe" has to be a nadir.

Some believe "Pepe" to be excellent family fare. If I compelled a child to watch the whole thing, even the cut general release version, I could probably be arrested for child abuse. You have been warned!

Cantinflas meets every star in Hollywood, in an attempt to recapture the 80 Days magic. No such luck. Cantinflas was asked to carry Pepe and simply wasn't up to the task, though it's perfectly acceptable all-star entertainment. Cameos by Tony Curtis, Janet Leigh, Dean Martin, Ernie Kovacs, and particularly Kim Novak, help make it more than watchable. In a way it's better than 80 Days, since Kim wasn't in that one. I stayed around for the next show to see Kim's cameo again. In those days you could remain in the theatre on one paid admission for as long as you wished.

In San Francisco, PEPE played at advanced prices, on continuous showings, no reserved seats. On March 14, 1961 I spent nearly seven hours in the St. Francis Theatre on Market Street. PEPE runs 195 minutes. Us Kim Novak fans are durable, and loyal - she's still one of my favorite stars. Wow.

It seems Hollywood just didn't know what to do with Cantinflas; after his appearance in AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS, it took four years for him to appear in his next Hollywood movie - which was this train wreck that I'm sure had many of its participants licking their wounds for years to come!

Upon seeing PEPE, it seems even its filmmakers weren't sure what to do with him, given the fact that a great deal of the movie is devoted to the ton of cameo appearances, appearances where Cantinflas is more or less made to simply blubber statements that you can barely make out, or just sit back stunned. In fact, even in the scenes where he appears with the regular characters, Cantinflas really doesn't have that much to do. Needless to say, he ends up being completely unfunny. There's nothing he does here that gives me a clue as to why he was so popular south of the border. (One other possible problem may be that reportedly his style of humor was geared towards the language and customs of his part of the world.)

The whole movie is agonizing to sit through for its 158 minutes - the scary thing is that the movie was originally LONGER - over THREE HOURS LONG! (I am curious as to what was cut out - anyone know?) The only moment that provides anything of real entertainment is the "beatnik ballet" segment. Though it runs too long, and is somewhat goofy, some of the choreography is pretty spectacular.

I have fond memories of this movie. I remember along with my brother Alan, begging our parents to take us to the drive-in to see Pepe. I don't know anyone who did not like Cantinflas. With the advent of DVD, I don't know why this title has not surfaced.