Il mostro dell'isola

MORD39 RATING: 0 out of ****

I caught this foreign dud as a kid on television, under the alternate title of THE ISLAND MONSTER. It is without a doubt the lowest ebb of Karloff's career.

Those expecting a horror film will be dumbfounded, as this bomb is about a criminal dealing with drug smuggling (as far as I can tell) and kidnapping a little girl. I've seen my share of badly dubbed movies, from the Godzilla features to the European horror imports...but this one wins the award for all-time lousiest dubbing in a foreign film. Karloff didn't dub his own character, but the guy who did sounds like he's doing a cheap Boris impression! The voice of the distressed little girl must have been dubbed by a woman in her thirties or forties...it's a riot!!!

I guess if you want to laugh at the terrible English version, you can get a giggle or two out of this. It's not an easy film to find, but rest assured that if you never see it you shouldn't lose too much sleep; it's so atrocious that it makes the last bunch of Mexican features that Boris and Jack Hill worked on look like classics.

Boris Karloff and the title "Island Monster" does not a horror movie make, as is evidenced in this tepid crime-drama concerning a government investigator sent to break a drug ring, until things go awry when his young daughter is kidnapped. Local benefactor (Karloff) seems a kindly old gentleman, whose hospice for ill children paints him as the town's saint, but there's something distinctly unsavoury about the milk he imports.

Karloff is wasted as the benevolent Samaritan above suspicion while local mule Franca Marzi has a decent role as a nightclub singer whose drug addiction has brought her into the criminal arena, with a sad past and an opportunity for atonement ahead. Fierro is okay as the frantic mother whose child is abducted, and Vicario, playing essentially the leading man, a debonair, ladies' man loyal to the uniform, is consistently monotone.

The Napoli locations are picturesque and there's a hint of the continental lifestyle that's hard to ignore, but the film is otherwise bland and unimaginative, lacking suspense, and hopelessly clichéd - right down to the faithful mutt who does a pretty good substitute for Lassie.

If you've never had the displeasure of seeing this Italian ISLAND MONSTER (also known as LE MONSTRE DE LA ILE) let me assure you it's easily Boris Karloff's worst film, hands down (I'm not counting the Karloff-narrated MONDO BOLARDO). This is so bad it makes VOODOO ISLAND and his last Jack Hill Mexican "cameo" pictures look good. Not at all a horror film, Karloff plays a seemingly good-natured old soul who's really involved in drug smuggling and all sorts of other underhanded activities on a secret island location. One of these involves him kidnapping the little daughter of an investigator who's been sent from Naples to monitor his movements.

The film makes little sense, but as lousy as it is there's still something oddly fascinating about watching Boris in such a production, amidst the picturesque setting. Style is non-existent with the exception of one fleeting moment where Karloff interrogates the crying child in darkness. The English dubbing is abysmal yet it provides unintended laughs as we hear some guy doing a really bad Karloff impression while an obviously adult woman provides the silly whines and whimpers of the frightened little girl who's been taken hostage. That's funny stuff, and prime fodder for all you MST3K nuts out there. * out of ****

1953's "The Island Monster" ("Il Mostro Dell' Isola" or Monster of the Island) would appear to be the nadir of Boris Karloff's screen career, made during a listless decade where his television work far surpassed 8 feature film roles that hardly taxed his thespian abilities ("The Haunted Strangler" and "Corridors of Blood" the happy exceptions). Just as the later "Voodoo Island" offered him a sunny vacation in Hawaii, this minor effort from director Roberto Bianchi Montero served his desire to do some fishing off the coast of Italy in Sept. 1953, set on the island of Ischia near Naples where a local inspector must go undercover to ferret out dope smuggling. Unfortunately, any attempt to remain in disguise is foiled by the untimely arrival of not only his wife and daughter but also the family pooch, whose bloodhound abilities make Scooby Doo look like an amateur. The villains depend upon the wife's jealousy to lure her away from the hotel room where her child is an easy target for kidnapping, but things go downhill from there for head honcho Don Gaetano Bronte (Karloff), leading a double life as wealthy philanthropist by day, dope ring kingpin by night, using his free hospital as a means to smuggle in drugs instead of medicine. Location shooting provides scenic background, but the nonexistent budget and paucity of action make this a real chore to sit through, made even worse by an unprofessional dubbing job that makes the bawling brat sound worse than nails on a chalkboard. In a film where the adults behave like blithering idiots and nothing occurs to pique one's interest, Karloff's mere presence is all there is to offer solace for completists (over 20 minutes screen time), others may rejoice in avoiding it altogether. Montero would later be responsible for another Karloff credit, as narrator for 1964's shockumentary "Mondo Balordo" on its US release in 1967, but undoubtedly his happiest venture in Rome would come in Mario Bava's 1963 "Black Sabbath," providing one of the actor's last truly great roles as a Russian vampire known as The Wurdulak.

In the mid to late 1950s, many international actors starred in Italian films that were dubbed--so it didn't matter that actors like Anthony Quinn, Richard Basehart, Broderick Crawford or Boris Karloff didn't speak the language. However, it is very odd to see these films in English because when they are re-dubbed the original English speaker's voice is usually replaced with some voice actor. Here, despite seeing Boris Karloff, you instead hear a voice coming out of him that just doesn't sound like him--it's close but just doesn't sound like him--probably because often the voice and lips are out of sync. I can get used to this, but really wished they'd just subtitled the movie instead. But what I can't understand is when they use horrible voice actors for many of the other voices--ones that sounded bizarre. In this film, at times, it seemed like random people off the street did the voice-overs--especially since some could barely read their lines and the voice of Mario's child is absolutely horrid!! This child who appears about four has a voice that sounds like it comes from a teenager--talk about weird! Now in the case of the first three actors listed above, they appeared in some amazing Fellini movies. Unfortunately for Mr. Karloff, this was definitely NOT a Fellini movie--not even a Murry Fellini film! Instead, it's a very low-budget movie about cops and the mob--exactly the type of film in which you'd never expect to find Karloff. Sadly, in addition to the extremely lousy voice acting, the film has a rather annoying musical score (though the film is unusual in that there is very little incidental music), cheap sets and a rather thin plot.

While old Boris gets top billing, he really isn't the star of this dull suspense film and he is largely wasted. Instead, the main character is Mario--an undercover cop who's trying to infiltrate the mob. Unfortunately, Mario's wife is an idiot and she arrives in time to help spoil her hubby's cover--perhaps she liked the idea of mobsters bumping off her spouse, but I just think she was supposed to be a moron. Regardless if the wife was or wasn't the one to tip them off, the mob seems to know right away who he is and so they dispatch a sweet Italian dish to seduce the fellow. When the wife discovers this "other woman", the marriage is in trouble. And, to make things worse AND to ensure their wicked plans work, they also kidnap Mario's child.

The rest is rather uninspired and dull--certainly NOT one of Boris Karloff's brighter moments on film. Despite this being a very poor production and a waste of time, one reviewer actually gave it a score of 10!! Considering all the problems with the film and an IMDb score lower than 3, you should just assume that one really high score was made by a maniac!