Il mostro dell'isola

MORD39 RATING: 0 out of ****

I caught this foreign dud as a kid on television, under the alternate title of THE ISLAND MONSTER. It is without a doubt the lowest ebb of Karloff's career.

Those expecting a horror film will be dumbfounded, as this bomb is about a criminal dealing with drug smuggling (as far as I can tell) and kidnapping a little girl. I've seen my share of badly dubbed movies, from the Godzilla features to the European horror imports...but this one wins the award for all-time lousiest dubbing in a foreign film. Karloff didn't dub his own character, but the guy who did sounds like he's doing a cheap Boris impression! The voice of the distressed little girl must have been dubbed by a woman in her thirties or forties...it's a riot!!!

I guess if you want to laugh at the terrible English version, you can get a giggle or two out of this. It's not an easy film to find, but rest assured that if you never see it you shouldn't lose too much sleep; it's so atrocious that it makes the last bunch of Mexican features that Boris and Jack Hill worked on look like classics.

Boris Karloff and the title "Island Monster" does not a horror movie make, as is evidenced in this tepid crime-drama concerning a government investigator sent to break a drug ring, until things go awry when his young daughter is kidnapped. Local benefactor (Karloff) seems a kindly old gentleman, whose hospice for ill children paints him as the town's saint, but there's something distinctly unsavoury about the milk he imports.

Karloff is wasted as the benevolent Samaritan above suspicion while local mule Franca Marzi has a decent role as a nightclub singer whose drug addiction has brought her into the criminal arena, with a sad past and an opportunity for atonement ahead. Fierro is okay as the frantic mother whose child is abducted, and Vicario, playing essentially the leading man, a debonair, ladies' man loyal to the uniform, is consistently monotone.

The Napoli locations are picturesque and there's a hint of the continental lifestyle that's hard to ignore, but the film is otherwise bland and unimaginative, lacking suspense, and hopelessly clichéd - right down to the faithful mutt who does a pretty good substitute for Lassie.

In the mid to late 1950s, many international actors starred in Italian films that were dubbed--so it didn't matter that actors like Anthony Quinn, Richard Basehart, Broderick Crawford or Boris Karloff didn't speak the language. However, it is very odd to see these films in English because when they are re-dubbed the original English speaker's voice is usually replaced with some voice actor. Here, despite seeing Boris Karloff, you instead hear a voice coming out of him that just doesn't sound like him--it's close but just doesn't sound like him--probably because often the voice and lips are out of sync. I can get used to this, but really wished they'd just subtitled the movie instead. But what I can't understand is when they use horrible voice actors for many of the other voices--ones that sounded bizarre. In this film, at times, it seemed like random people off the street did the voice-overs--especially since some could barely read their lines and the voice of Mario's child is absolutely horrid!! This child who appears about four has a voice that sounds like it comes from a teenager--talk about weird! Now in the case of the first three actors listed above, they appeared in some amazing Fellini movies. Unfortunately for Mr. Karloff, this was definitely NOT a Fellini movie--not even a Murry Fellini film! Instead, it's a very low-budget movie about cops and the mob--exactly the type of film in which you'd never expect to find Karloff. Sadly, in addition to the extremely lousy voice acting, the film has a rather annoying musical score (though the film is unusual in that there is very little incidental music), cheap sets and a rather thin plot.

While old Boris gets top billing, he really isn't the star of this dull suspense film and he is largely wasted. Instead, the main character is Mario--an undercover cop who's trying to infiltrate the mob. Unfortunately, Mario's wife is an idiot and she arrives in time to help spoil her hubby's cover--perhaps she liked the idea of mobsters bumping off her spouse, but I just think she was supposed to be a moron. Regardless if the wife was or wasn't the one to tip them off, the mob seems to know right away who he is and so they dispatch a sweet Italian dish to seduce the fellow. When the wife discovers this "other woman", the marriage is in trouble. And, to make things worse AND to ensure their wicked plans work, they also kidnap Mario's child.

The rest is rather uninspired and dull--certainly NOT one of Boris Karloff's brighter moments on film. Despite this being a very poor production and a waste of time, one reviewer actually gave it a score of 10!! Considering all the problems with the film and an IMDb score lower than 3, you should just assume that one really high score was made by a maniac!

Don't be fooled by the title or the presence of Boris Karloff, this is a dire Italian-made crime picture.

Any virtue the proceedings may have had (and that would seem to be precious little) is sabotaged by the atrocious dubbing. It is possible to get by dubbing little known Italian players, although the young child does sound as if she's been voiced by a woman whose inhaled too much helium, but to dub Boris Karloff is beyond forgiveness. Especially when it's been done by someone doing a half-hearted impression of the great man.

Plot-wise things are pretty grim too with all the clichés of the genre being firmly present and correct. There's a mysterious criminal mastermind, a smoky nightclub, a femme fatale and the requisite number of obvious double-crosses, lack lustre car chases and terrible dialogue. `It's impossible to get anywhere with you,' the nightclub singer sighs from deep within her cleavage, `you're so cool you're always sure to maintain your equilibrium.'

‘Our hero' is an undercover treasury agent and I can't help thinking that he needs a few pointers in how to do the job. The first thing he does when he arrives on the scene is to visit police headquarters and go out on a launch accompanied by the local chief officers. All in broad daylight! Not surprisingly it doesn't take long for the local crooks to blow his cover, although they do fail to recognise him later on when he poses as a member of a rival syndicate from Genoa. Perhaps it was his brilliant disguise of taking off his suit!

It's anybody's guess why Boris agreed to appear in this but perhaps roles were a little thin on the ground at this point in his career. On the other hand, it may simply have been that he fancied a free Italian holiday, which would also explain his presence in ‘Sabaka' (1954), a similarly eccentric choice from around this time. That one was filmed entirely on location in India. Nice work if you can get it.

Finally special mention must be reserved for `International Stars Jeanette and Bob' who present the worst nightclub dance act ever committed to celluloid. Sometimes seeing is believing.

It took four years for this to get a release in the U.S. I wonder why?

Thanks to Mill Creek Entertainment, this rare Karloff appearance remains a mystery no longer. Admittedly, the English dubbing varies from atrocious to only slightly less than passable, but it is probably no worse than the Italian version, and at least a commendable effort is made to try to imitate Karloff's distinctive voice. Not very successfully, it's true, but at least the dubbers took a tilt at it.

However, what will disappoint fans the most is that, despite the title, this is a not a horror film at all. It's what I call a Clayton's horror film. Clayton's is a non-alcoholic beverage that was extensively promoted a few years back as "the drink you have when you're not a having a drink!" Thus a Clayton's horror film is the horror film you have when you're not having a horror film, because this one is actually a "who is the mystery leader of a vicious gang of smugglers?"

Aside from Karloff (whose role is not all that extensive, despite his early entrance, although he does do a fair bit of running about), the only players that impel much interest are avuncular Giuseppe Chinnici as the helpful marshal and the exotic Franca Marzi as the singer you have when you're not having a singer (maybe she sings in the Italian version, but in this one she doesn't warble so much as a note). Miss Marzi is a rare commodity in movieland, an actress who's not afraid of continuously styling her hair in an unbecoming fashion or being constantly photographed from most unflattering angles.

Although he started back in 1943, director/writer Montero didn't really hit his stride until the 1960s when he made a series of reach-me-down, semi-documentaries on sexy themes. Interestingly, the best scenes in this effort are those on the marshal's ship where the camera is cleverly placed to three-dimensionalize the action (and Maestro Innocenzi adds to the allure of sun, sea and sky with his rousing title theme).

All told, passable entertainment, provided you're not expecting too much and are prepared to make generous allowances.