Die 5000 Finger des Dr. T

It's sad that this enormously entertaining children's fantasy film goes almost unseen today. It is the only live action feature film that the late great Dr. Suess was involved in. The story involves young Bart, a free spirited little boy who is forced into piano lessons dictated by the pretentious, snobby Dr. Terwilliker (Hans Conried at his nasally best!) In his dreams, he imagines this horrible teacher runs a prison like institute where prisoners are forced to play a silly, large piano meant for 500 piano players all at once. The film has wonderful dialog, crazy musical numbers with great lyrics. Two of my favorite songs in this film is the baratone executioner, and Dr. T's gleeful song about dressing up. Oh, and there's a reference to the atomic bomb that is just too gosh-darned funny! This loopy classic has a nice message, mostly aimed at adults- take children more seriously, and let them be children. The last shot of the film has Bart running off to play sports. A perfect happy ending.

This movie is one of the most bizarre and random films I have ever seen. It combines a mind-boggling storyline (a kid dreams he's trapped in a castle ruled by his satanic piano teacher who is setting up a piano camp for 500 players), intriguing characters (the heroic, down-to-earth plumber, the helpless, beautiful, damsel/mother in distress, the all-American kid on the block, and the disturbing, foppish, freak of a villain, Dr. Terwilliker) weird costumes and sets, and the most outrageous songs ever conceived. Among my favorites are the "Doe-me-doe" dress up song, "The Dungeon Song," and "We are Victorious!" Any orchestra geek will get a kick out of the dungeon ballet. This is a terrific film to scare your friends or corrupt your children. I highly recommend it to anyone with an unbalanced imagination.

Also recommended: The Brave Little Toaster, Time Bandits, Happily Ever After: a Snow White Tale, The Never Ending Story, Nightmare Before Christmas and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

An alienated boy misunderstood by his parents at home rebels against an exacting piano teacher whom he finds out has a sinister plot to rule the world.

I remember it best for its plaintive song "You Have No Right to Push Us Kids Around" later revived by Jerry Lewis in his TV appearances. The song is a cry about the angst of childhood. Part of the lyrics goes something like this: "Just because you have hair on your chest doesn't mean you're the best. Just because you have stayed longer on this planet doesn't mean you own it. You have no right to push us kids around just because we're closer to the ground." Under the megalomaniac piano teacher's plan, all children would be condemned to an eternity of piano practice trying to catch up with the ever increasing beat of a metronome. Spectacular "blow up" endings such as in James Bond movies satirized by Don Adams (Maxwell Smart) or even Mike Myers (Austin Powers) must have taken inspiration from this very early attempt at such.

Much belatedly did I find out that this story is by the revered "Dr." Seuss (he is not a real doctor you know) famous for witty, whimsical stories written in cute rhyming verses about outlandish animals (Green Eggs and Ham, Cat in a Hat)but praised by educators for their effectiveness in getting children to read. Seuss deserves Ph.Ds in education, psychology and literature even posthumously.

I haven't seen it since but here is what I remember. I knew all the Dr. Seuss books by heart (I could read). I was taking piano lessons from our Protestant minister's wife who resembled Hans Conreid. My mom and I went on the bus to a large, metropolitan movie palace and we were well dressed. We watched the entire movie and then went home on the bus. Hans Conreid was always one of my favorites and even more recognizable as a voice. Lassie was a fixture later on our home TV. I don't think the movie had any real effect on me except that the books and my dreams were a lot better. I listened to radio every night as a child. I sometimes dreamed in black and white like most of the movies I saw as a child. I remember many of the scenes described in the written reviews and trailers. I'll see it again sometime. I'll let you know.

I've been familiar with this relatively obscure film for quite a few years, and while I am not familiar with the various VHS versions of it, I have had the laserdisc version for at least a decade, or more. The new DVD release is amazingly superior to that edition in picture quality, in terms of definition, color and contrast. Even the darkest, shadowy portions of the picture are rendered in sharp detail in the DVD, whereas those areas in the laserdisc picture are just an indistinct, dark grey blur. The colors are stable and vibrant, as well. All this helps tremendously in presenting the vivid imagery of this film to best effect. If you have any regard for this film, you really should have this edition.

I can't add much to the accolades already posted for this fascinating, and genuinely unique, work of pure imagination. I've never seen a bad review of it. I might only make another mention of the hilarious `dressing-up' song that Hans Conried performs near the end of the film. Much comment has been made about the items Dr. T calls for in the lyrics (`undulating undies,' `purple nylon girdle,' `peek-a-boo blouse,' etc.). However, it should be pointed out to those yet unfamiliar with this film that these items bear no relation to the outfit in which he is actually being dressed, which is a cartoonishly-exaggerated drum major uniform. I guess you couldn't do THAT in 1953, at least not in such a mainstream venue. Those sophisticated enough to get the joke will get it, though, and the rest will find it strange, but amusing. My point is that despite all the bizarre and subversive attributes people have seen and commented on in this film, it is very much of its time in style, and decidedly family-friendly viewing. Anyone with a fondness for `Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' should appreciate this, and I'm not sure it isn't superior to that film in style, wit, and pure imaginative pizzaz.