Don't Bet on Blondes

"Don't Bet on Blondes" is a short Warners comedy from 1935 starring Warren William, Claire Dodd, Guy Kibbee, William Gargan, and Errol Flynn in an early appearance.

William is a bookie who decides to go legitimate and become an insurance man, but a special kind of one. He's going to take high risk cases, and some of them are real doozies: whether a man will have twins, whether someone will lose her voice, etc.

One case concerns a southern man (Kibbee) who is supported by his daughter. He's writing a book proving that the south won the Civil War and he doesn't want his daughter to marry before he finishes it. It's a high risk because she's a gorgeous showgirl (Dodd) and she's practically engaged already.

William steps in as a distraction. You can guess the rest.

Warren William was all but forgotten before TCM; now he's very familiar to viewers and there's a new appreciation for his work. In silents, he played dark, villainous characters; in sound he could be a con man, a detective, or Perry Mason.

William had a wheezing laugh and his line readings often indicated wonderful humor. It's interesting that this type of leading man -- the Barrymore-type profile, the mustache -- went out of style.

This is a fast film, briskly directed, and enjoyable.

Not quite a Damon Runyon type jest, there is that element among the colorful characters. "Odds" Owen (William) morphs from ordinary bookie into insurance adventurer who'll underwrite any thing if the odds are right. So he insures Col. Youngblood for fifty-g's that his daughter (Dodd) and sole support won't marry for at least three years. Good thing Owen's got a crew of roughnecks to discourage potential suitors. Trouble is he sort of likes the fetching daughter himself.

William handles the central role in a compellingly good-natured fashion. Perhaps the programmer's most engaging part is the premise. That Owen will insure most anything if the odds are favorable leads him to insure things like a father not having twins, and a weary woman having a hog-calling voice for contests. The latter is a real room wrecking hoot. I don't suppose Owens' underwriting is illegal even though standard insurers won't take up the novel risks. Still, I doubt that using thuggish "persuaders" appears in the underwriter's handbook.

Overall, it's typical WB 30's fare— fast moving with colorful characters and well-upholstered women. Otherwise, it's an early Errol Flynn walk-on as a luckless suitor, but little more than an entertaining 60- minute time-passer. Still that's usually enough.

The fact that this was the last film Errol Flynn made before he became a mega-star is reason enough to watch this movie. Just after completing "Don't Bet on Blondes", he starred in "Captain Blood"-- one of the biggest hits he ever made and which led to one of the fasted rises to stardom in Hollywood history.

Apart from the Flynn angle (and he's only a relatively minor character), the film is still worth seeing--though I'll admit that the plot is incredibly weird and just plain wacky! Warren William stars as 'Odds' Owen, a professional gambler and bookmaker. However, he's tired of taking bets on horse races...especially since races can and are rigged. So he decides to try something similar but a surer thing...insurance! He plans on insuring bizarro things much like Lloyds of London was famous for at the time (such as insuring that actor Ben Turpin's eyes remain crossed)...especially since the odds of ever having to pay off are slim.

One of the crazy policies he takes is NOT one that is so easy...and Odds shouldn't take it but he did. A goofball author (Guy Kibbee) announces he wants a policy AGAINST his daughter marrying during the next three years! But to make sure that Odds doesn't have to pay off, he sets out to interfere with the young lady's love life! In one case, a poor sap (Flynn) is set-up to make it appear as if he's some sort of gangster and eventually Odds decides the best thing to do is just date her himself! What's next? See the film.

Why does this silly plot manage to work? Warren William! He was a wonderful actor and although mostly forgotten today, he was wonderful and often made ordinary films amazing films. While he's not the sleazy jerk he often played so well in earlier films due to the new Production Code, he IS enjoyable to watch...and is still a bit of a jerk...and he played jerks so very well.

... especially with Warren William, since this really played well off of his playful slickness. Too many times after the production code came in, WB substituted unfunny inanity, fast talking, and motion for the sake of action to replace the bawdy comedy of the production code years, and their movies suffered for that.

"Odds" Owen (Warren William) is a bookie running a very large bookmaking establishment. One day some anonymous fellow comes in and places a 2500 dollar bet on a horse that never wins. The odds are 20 to 1. Numbers (William Gargan) is immediately suspicious, informs Owen, and they put a tail on the guy who made the bet. It turns out the money that made the bet is actually owned by Wall Street banker Everett Markham (Clay Clement). The horse does win. Immediately after the race an Owens associate - the woods are full of Owens associates, it's part of what makes the film - gets a sample of saliva from the horse and he turns out to have been doped. Owens presents Markham with the evidence and refuses to pay off the bet.

Owens says that the bookmaking game isn't fun anymore with fraudsters like Markham involved and decides to leave that profession and go into the insurance game since the two professions are similar, or at least operate on similar principles. So, Owens founds a company that insures the oddball kinds of things that Lloyds of London does. Meanwhile Markham has vowed revenge on Owens for exposing him as a fraud. Funny and odd complications ensue.

This follows the tried-and-true WB formula of having William be the urbane and distinguished leader of a ragtag band of Runyonesque associates trying to be on the level for a change. The unique insurance niche this group is trying to fill is an opportunity for all kinds of odd clients and situations including a champion husband caller who needs her voice insured, a man who wants to be insured against twins, and the case that is at the center of the plot - a crackpot author (Guy Kibbee) who wants to insure his actress daughter (Claire Dodd) against marriage for three years so that he has time to finish his book on how the South really won the Civil War. This is because his daughter gives him an allowance to live off of that would end if she married and left the stage.

Unlike most WB second feature comedies of the time, this does not have a wild finish, but it is satisfying. Running at just under an hour it does not outstay its welcome. If you like Warren William you'll like this one, and perhaps if WB had put Warren William in more high caliber comedies such as this he would have not wandered over to MGM in 1937.

DON'T BET ON BLONDES is the lesson New York City's most eccentric insurance broker learns the hard way.

Fast-moving & fun, this is another example of the comedy crime picture that Warner Brothers was so expert at producing. Casts & plots could be shuffled almost endlessly, with very predictable results. While this assembly line approach created few classics, audience enjoyment could usually be assured.

Suave and sophisticated, Warren William dominates this enjoyable little film with his debonair manner and slightly sardonic sense of humor. Playing a topnotch bookie who seamlessly switches to the more legal insurance racket, William is never less than absolutely in command of his performance. His pursuit of lovely Claire Dodd, even though she's the subject of his client's offbeat policy, illustrates his character's single-minded determination to get exactly what he wants. Whether in comedy or drama, Warren William was a most enjoyable actor to watch and it is a shame that he is almost forgotten now.

A sturdy cast of costars gives fine support to William. Cuddly Guy Kibbee plays a Kentucky colonel desperate to retain his daughter's largess. Quick-tempered William Gargan is William's numbers expert, while Spencer Charters is his wise old company doctor. Clay Clement is a somewhat larcenous lawyer who has his eyes on Miss Dodd; Walter Byron portrays a prissy hypochondriac actor. Mary Treen is William's no-nonsense secretary; Hobart Cavanaugh plays a little man anxious to ensure his pregnant wife against having twins.

Look fast for Herman Bing as a man with a dog. A young Errol Flynn, looking earnest & eager, plays a potential suitor for Miss Dodd; he would become a major movie star very shortly. Wonderful Maude Eburne steals her scenes as a champion husband caller from Iowa.

Movie mavens will recognize W. C. Fields' longtime accomplice, Tammany Young, as an uncredited betting tout in the open scene.