The Primitive Lover

If you ask any normal movie fan today who the Talmadge sisters were, the answer would more likely be they were a musical vocal trio rather than the hugely popular 1920's silent film stars that they were. Back then, scores of theater goers lined up to see one of Norma, Natalie or Constance Talmadge movies. The oldest, Norma, and the youngest, Constance were especially two of the most famous actresses in cinema in the late 1910's and early 1920's. The sisters were among a handful of top movie performers invited to be the first to create impressions of their feet and handprints in wet cement in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater.

Constance aimed for scripts that were comedy of manners. No finer example of her work was May 1922's "The Primitive Lover." The Frances Marian scenario about an unhappy wife, Constance, whose fantasizes on her lost and presumed dead novelist boyfriend and his romantic themes, is surprised when he suddenly returns. Her husband, Harrison Ford, decides to show what a phony in the bravado category the writer really is.

Constance is recognizable for her early role in D. W. Griffith's 1916 'Intolerance' as the Mountain Girl in the famous Babylon segment. She appeared in over 80 films, with many scripted by her talented friend Anita Loos, who contoured her screenplays to the actress' favorite type of films. "I want comedies of manners, comedies that are funny because they delight one's sense of what is ridiculously human in the way of little everyday commonplace foibles and frailties," Constance admitted.

A big disappointment for me, Sidney Franklin's Constance Talmadge vehicle, "The Primitive Lover" (1922), is not a silent I'd recommend. The movie starts with what is obviously a trick scene enabling Constance and her companions to outrageously over-act for all they're worth. Unfortunately, when the movie proper starts, someone forgot to tell Constance. She continues to chew the scenery vigorously and her stagy demeanor spreads to her co-star Harrison Ford. Actually, as Talmadge herself was producing this tightly budgeted movie version of a minor Edgar Selwyn stage play that Broadway turned down, she didn't have to take any notice of direction. She obviously wanted to ham away in her close-ups – and her fans no doubt delightedly lapped up all her over-the-top highjinks. I didn't.

Talmadge stars as a young woman who reads romance novels and thinks her marriage dull. Film starts with a fake "castaways" scene as the hero sacrifices himself so the married couple can have enough food and water. Talmadge compares this tripe to her dull husband (Harrison Ford) and moons over the romance author who is believed to be dead in the jungle. Of course that was a publicity hoax, so Talmadge decides to get a quickie divorce and marry the author (Kenneth Harlan). The sap husband decides that if the wife want a "primitive lover," then he'll show her. He kidnaps the couple in Reno and takes them into the mountain wilderness where he shows up the preening author as a phony. Of course Ford has a local Indian helping him hunt and make fires and such. Sort of an early Romancing the Stone, The Primitive Lover is fun and shows why Talmadge was a superstar of her time. Ford also comes off well as the loving husband. Joe Roberts is funny as the big trail boss who uses Talmadge's pancakes as a bullet-proof vest, and Snitz Edwards is in the courtroom scene as the husband. Good fun with nice organ score.

This silent movie should be a cult classic. It is loads of fun to watch, and has a message that is strangely topical even today, since so many young women watch soaps and read cheap romance novels, and hence have unrealistic expectations of what love and romance and marriage should be like. Harrison Ford becomes adorable (once he wakes up to what he is about to lose) and Constance Talmadge is a doll. One can easily see why she was so popular in the 20's. Too bad so few of her films survive.

The Primitive Lover has lots of humorous touches (and title cards). You'll enjoy it if you're in the mood for something light and fun (but you probably won't like it if you are a hardcore feminist). Lol.

I have been curious about the films of Constance and Norma Talmadge for a long time, but it is very hard to find any of their films that have not been lost, much less that have been put on DVD. Constance was the comic actress of the two sisters, and this is a very fun romp of a film that holds up very well today some 87 years after it was made. The initial scene on a raft, full of over the top acting and clichés, is just Constance's character finishing her former fiancé's novel. She has married another man when her author-fiancé is presumed dead, and she is finding life with her husband dull compared to the life she has imagined she would have had if her favorite novelist had survived. However, it turns out the death of her "primitive lover" was just a publicity stunt, and he unexpectedly reappears and turns Constance's life upside down. Her husband decides the best thing to do is step aside until he realizes that maybe his wife needs to realize that her former fiancé is not the definitive hero and outdoorsman after all, and sets out to show it to her. The quality of the current DVD print is quite clear, and I highly recommend the film.

If you are familiar with Buster Keaton's silent films, one face you will likely recognize is that of Big Joe Roberts, who plays a cowboy lost in a storm who runs across Constance's cabin in the wilderness and demands a meal. He is involved in one of the funniest scenes in the film as Constance's character is an unexperienced cook, to put it kindly. As a result, Big Joe is faced with a dinner consisting of coffee of molasses-like consistency and pancakes that he finds so inedible and even indestructible that he later finds a possible use for them as a bullet-proof vest.

If you want to introduce someone to silent film, this is the place to start.