The Amusement Park

Answer: The Amusement Park, an hour-long film on the terrible way society treats the elder commissioned by the Lutherans and directed by the great George Romero in 1973 but not seen until now. I can only imagine that the investors, upon seeing it, said, "WTF did we pay for???"

While it is what it is--a public service film on ageism--there's no mistaking that Romero directed it. (He even shows up as a nasty patron of the park's bumper cars.) It's extremely avant garde, humorless, and depressing. But it's well done on its nothing budget and still has a lot to say on the subject today. No, it's not so terrible or unfinished that it couldn't have been released back in the day. It's was just too much. (And kudos to George's widow and the George A. Romero Foundation for doing a nice job restoring it from a couple of faded 16mm prints.) It's worth a look as a weird curio and footnote to the career of the greatest horror director who ever lived.

First I have to set this review up. Back in the 80's I was iving in the Village, NYC and going to NYU. On the east side was an old movie theatre called The Variety Photoplays. I think it was built in the early 1900's. It's been featured in a Woody Allen movie and in a horror movie called Varety, which used it as the set.

By the 1980's it had taken a turn and the theatre alternated between straight movies and adult films -- every other week. One day I walked by and there was a poster for this movie outside acclaiming "From the director of Night of the Living Dead!" I had to see it.

The ticket booth was actually a stand alone booth outside of the theatre and the guy inside it was really creepy.

Walk in and to the right was the concession stand which only sold candy and you'd give your ticket to this big heavy bruiser who had a motorcycle chain around his neck (I'm not kidding). I think he was "armed" to protect the women (more on that in a minute).

So I go into the theatre and -- this is the 80's -- the audience was mostly cigar smoking old men. The place stunk of cigars.

You could tell that back in the day this was a beautiful ornate movie theatre, complete with a balcony, mezzanine and orchestra seating.

So I sit down toward the back. Maybe 5 minutes before the film starts, skantily clad girls come walking down the two aisles saying "Last call. Last call." One guy gets up and goes with one of them thru an exit door next to the screen. He never came back. I'm assuming these were "working" gals and hence the bruiser, in case of trouble with the Johns.

Anyway this movie finaly came on and it was pretty short so they followed it with another film that had a splice toward the end and turned into a totally different movie!

What a place!

I had totally forgotten about this movie until it re-surfaced for streaming. It's a weird movie, shot with no money, but still captivating. Made supposedly as a public service sort of film about elder abuse.

How this actually got made under that premise is astounding. I'm surprised the money people didnt sue for getting something they didnt expect.

It's well done, but a bit repetitive, given it's short length.

I also don't consider this a true horror movie. It's a surreal drama for sure, but not horror.

Worth a watch -- especially for those Romero fans out there.

And parentetically, in the 90's the Variety Photoplay was gutted and turned into an off off broadway live theatre, without the for hire glas. It should have been restored and considered a landmark in the area. Today that's gone too and now it's a bunch of condos.

'The Amusement Park (1973)' is basically a PSA regarding elder abuse, bookended by extended fourth-wall breaks that outright tell you its mission statement. It's considered 'lost' because the people who commissioned it were supposedly so horrified by it that they buried it, making sure it never saw the light of day. Recently, it has been unearthed and restored in 4K, making its way over to Shudder as an exclusive piece of content. For seasoned horror fans, the flick is somewhat of an amusing oddity. It may very well be worth watching just to see what a Romero-made PSA actually looks like. However, it probably won't hit home for most audiences, despite its good intentions and general technical prowess, because it simply isn't all that engaging. Its eponymous amusement park is allegorical for life, being fun for its younger visitors but not so much fun for its older ones. Instead of height restrictions, rides are restricted by health, wage and general social status. The bumper cars require valid licences, the snack stands give out paper grocery bags, the 'freak shows' consist of only OAPs. The picture essentially puts you in the position of an innocent and eager older gentleman who gets consistently beaten down by the park's unfair systems. It's a fairly claustrophobic watch that has a relatively strong sense of escalation to it. However, even though it should work well, it ultimately falls a little flat. As I said earlier, it isn't all that engaging. In fact, it's actually quite dull. It also isn't as scary as some people are making it out to be; it's barely a horror film, if I'm honest (not that that's really an issue). I wish I liked this more than I do. 4/10.

This is an educational film about elder abuse shot by Romero in 1973 (early in his career) and not released until a couple of years ago. After seeing it, it's obvious why the film was shelved: it's a pure nightmarish trip, original and fresh, and very educational, but clearly not in the conventional way. Romero has in his career, until the early 80s, a maverick style of filming: very independent, rough and dirty, close to documentalists like Frederick Wiseman, and this is a great almost lost example of that period.

The topic of elderly people being mistreated in Western society is a perfectly noble one to cover in film. That doesn't exempt filmmakers from providing a story though, or character development of any kind. There's essentially zero of either in The Amusement Park, a "lost film" from the late George Romero that I'd wager is getting praised by critics because of context more than anything.

There isn't much of a film here. Our main character orates to the camera for a few minutes at the beginning, explaining just how poorly seniors are treated. Then for the next 45 odd minutes, seniors are treated poorly at an amusement park. The film plays like a not-particularly-good colourized episode of the Twilight Zone, or perhaps more accurately The Ray Bradbury Theatre.

Was excited for this based on the hype, but sadly it proved little more than a mildly curious historical novelty. Heck of a poster though.