The Curse of Halloween Jack

American or English? I don't know if the film makers or actors knew. This felt like someone was trying to make a feature length version of a Goosebumps episode. Terrible, but I have seen worse.

OK. I was expecting it to be bad...but this just stole 77 minutes of my life. I'm even struggling at where to start with the review. I enjoy terrible films, I used to love some of the cheesy films the horror channel used to play but this was in a whole other genre. English police officers welding guns around like everyone has one, while we're on that note everyone seems to have a firearm even the public. The Dad giving his Daughter dollars to pay for a pizza even though its set in a fictional town in the UK.

The really Bad special effects. Everyone gets shot or stabbed and no blood in sight they even blow up a brick built police station then cut to the outside of a wooden cabin for the explosion, then use stock footage of a US fire department fighting the blaze. Nobody seems to be able to run. I've never been so bored watching a film. I put it on to pass the time and I honestly believe it would have been more entertaining if I had spent the 77 minutes cutting my lawn with scissors, watching paint dry or just sitting in silence.

Andrew Jones follows up the turd that was Legend of Halloween Jack with another turd, only this one is very slightly more polished! Despite making movies in South Wales he is obsessed with including American characters but sadly he has yet to find one that can do an authentic sounding accent. This only drags his bad films down even further. One of these "American" characters is Duke, obviously "inspired" by Kurt Russell's "Snake" from Escape from New York. Jack looks laughable and his kills are largely bloodless and lame, for example one victim has a mobile phone shoved into her mouth. And what's with a guy handing out dollar notes to his daughter despite being obviously filmed in the UK!? One of the better scenes has some mildly amusing banter between a gay and a straight man. Final Girl Danielle (Tiffany Ceri) looks stunning but shows a complete lack of emotion, she also looks older than the 19 year old that she is playing. Marginally better than the first movie but I only scored that trash 1/10. Rubbish.

This is so bad, quite worse than an Asylum or SciFi channel production, and that is saying a lot.

Let's start, the plot makes little sense, the actors are all weak, the characters' reactions are laughable, illogical, and plain ol' weird at best, dialogue comes as a joke, simply put, nothing here makes sense. It is a quite boring as well, the only way it comes off better is whenever you decide to genuinely pay attention to everyone's reaction, decision, words that are coming out of their mouths. This is not how human beings exist! No, no, nowhere will you find these kind of people, not even in a horror movie!

Therefore, The Curse of Halloween Jack is nothing more than a cash grabbing attempt of a production that will be linked to Halloween thus perhaps it shall do better in rentals in that particularly period of time. And yet, I for one doubt it!

Cheers!

Jack is back and he really shouldn't be....

This is bad.. So bad..