Joe Baby

So, a private investigator is on the hunt for 10 million dollars that vanished after a shady real estate deal. Sounds like a classic setup, right? Well, not quite. This isn't noir, it's not Blacklist, and it's definitely not Bad Boys - it feels more like a film from a parallel universe, where the script was written between coffee breaks and cleaning the house.

What really knocks you off your feet isn't the plot (there's barely one to speak of), but who is in it. Dichen Lachman and Willa Fitzgerald - incredibly talented actresses. Which begs the question: girls, why did you agree to this? What was this? An experiment? Hostage situation? A lost bet?

Honestly, I was in shock. After Stalker, I thought, "Yes! My Willa's about to deliver something amazing..." They delivered her... and that was it. Showtime's over, go home.

You watch it and think: maybe they were trying to parody a thriller? Or maybe they didn't read the script at all and just flipped to the "characters with guns" section?

Wow, I was ready for something big. But nothing happened.

My love, Willa... why'd you do this?

In short - it's the kind of film you put on if you're in the mood to suffer. Or if you're a diehard fan of the actresses - then sure, go ahead. But don't say you weren't warned.