Jersey Shore: Family Vacation

I enjoyed the first iteration of Jersey Shore. Not only did it remind me of the things I didn't miss (and was lucky to have lived through) about my youth, but it was always fun to watch these train wrecks go off the tracks, melt down, and otherwise show their a$$es on national TV.

There is something stale about this "Family Vacation" that just can't seem to freshen up, no matter how much "GTL" they throw at it. It's the same, they're basically the same, except wealthier, filled with collagen and plastic surgery, and a LOT more boring. Pauly D, and to some extent, Snookie, are the saving grace, once again, about the show. Problem is, they're unable to save it much.

Speaking of Snookie, she has so much lip collagen (and most probably inserts/implants as well), and such huge balloon boobs, that she looks like a cartoon. A cheap impression of her former authentically cheap self. She's hard to look at. J-Woww is not "wow" anymore. She's a suburban housewife with two kids, and frankly, I never watched the show originally because of her less-than-existent personality. She was hot. Now she's not. Such a shame. She's also quite tired and her tired, droning, Jersey voice is grating to the ear.

Mike Sorrentino had a legal "situation" which calmed him, and the former hard partier is like a monk now, a puffy-cheeked chip-monk. Gone are the scheming, conniving plays of the "Sitch", who so improbably got girls night after night. The guy you loved to hate is now a guy you hate to like.

What can I say about lovesick Ronnie? He's pitiful. H'es lost a lot of brain cells since that original Jersey shore, and hew only had about 16 of them to begin with. He's obviously affected by his drinking, both on and off the show, and so obviously deflated and defeated by the thought of his very pregnant girlfriend about to lock him down for the next 18 years. Oh Ronnie, you don't have to stay, but your'e definitely going to have to pay.

The rest of the cast, including Vinnie, who was never much of an interesting character, and party doll Sammie, who is quite possibly the brains of the show, are barely worth mentioning. Deena is sweet and authentic. She always has been. She's actually my favorite on the show next to Paulie. That's not enough of a draw though.

The fact is, this show is dead, and these "kids" are all grown up with grown up problems. There's no more hedonism about the show. Even in the clubs they look too old and irrelevant. This ain't 5 years ago. When they get their freak on, they just look like freaks. I would pass on the rest of the episodes, but I just have to see what happens to Ronnie. He's in real bad shape.

Its not the same without sami but its still a good one to watch.

It is frightening that shows like this even get produced. Ugly, sad, trashy men and women.

I love Jersey Shore. I have watched every episode and almost memorize every line. So that is the reason I watch JS vacation now. It's not the same at all and a bit boring. Everyone is married or have kids. Shocked to see Ronnie become the train wreck instead of Mike. Of course it will never live up to the first Jersey Shore but it still worth watching cause it resonates with the original. Side note Deena tries too hard and not real.

First off, I gotta say how amazed I am at Mike's incredible metabolism, especially at his age. Consuming what seems like 10s of thousands of calories a day and remaining in a great shape is truly admirable.

That being said, and I never thought I would say this, I truly feel bad for the guy's predicament with the government. I am amazed at his transformation and truly wish him the best in maintaining his new lifestyle and in future endeavors.

I'm not surprised at Pauly Ds success considering his newfound fame caused his DJ career to blow up. I never really liked the guy, he seems like an emotional black hole that thrives on drama but somehow manages not to start any himself. Great taste in cars though. However, that incredibly disturbing sex doll he brought to represent Sam is just awful on every level. Something is not right with his head.

The most surprising thing for me was Ronnie. Judging by his house and his car, he somehow seems to have managed to maintain his wealth over the years. This is likely the only reason that the doctors have not yet declared him brain dead and pulled the plug. Oh Ron, no matter how much vodka flows down your gullet it will not magically wash away your baby mama. Sam, congratulations.

Vinny. The one person who for the first 2 seasons of the OG show seemed like the only normal one. Carbohydrates are essential to maintain healthy brain function, and what you see from his behavior is a clear example of that. He is obviously not mentally or physically well, and is now just a tragic figure.

Snooki and Deena. Always have been bimbos with hardly half a brain cell to share in between the two. Finally, the alcohol has won and the last cell has left the building. Snooki's plastic surgeon however belongs in jail. That upper lip would let her smoke a cigarette in the rain with her hands tied behind her back.

J (woww) has obviously grown up. From what I remember she was the only one who was never an airhead. Now just a mom and wife.

The MVP here is Sammi who is the only one who had the brains not to show up to this train wreck again.

While the OG show was great purely as a guilty pleasure to watch how ridiculous these people are, this is just a sad attempt to milk some more money out of a dead "franchise"

Disclosure: grew up and went to high school in central NJ around when the OG show first came out, been to seaside heights dozens of times which was only a 20 minute drive down, snuck into Karma at 17, etc. I am on season 1 episode 5 and can no longer watch. If I do, I'm afraid I will have Ronnie's mental capacity by the end of the show.