Wer wir sind und wer wir waren

William Nicholson both wrote and directed this artistic and sensitive little cinematic masterwork. The story examines relationships and the breakdown of marriage in a manner that is heartbreaking yet beautifully introspective.

Grace (Annette Bening) is a religious woman married to Edward (Bill Nighy), a professor at a local school who is not religious, and their marriage seems stable though with little communication on Edward's part. They are approaching a twenty-ninth wedding anniversary and the ties that bind their marriage appear fragile. Their son Jamie (Josh O'Connor) is involved in the tech industry and seems aloof. Edward shares his affair and love for another woman and tells Grace that he is leaving her. The life change plays out with each of the three - Grace is furious, hurt, and in denial, while Edward is having difficulty with the machinations of the end of their marriage, and Jamie is torn between his love for both parents and the crush of his beliefs systems that appear to unravel. Grace ultimately regains her footing and discovers a new, powerful voice and ultimately finds a way to be happy.

The cinematography by Anna Valdez-Hanks heightens the emotional impact of the film as does the musical score by Alex Heffes. Annette Bening, Bill Nighy, and Josh Charles offer polished performances and the small attending cast members are excellent. The addition of poetry greatly enhances the film's messages. But the primary contributor to the success of this film is the script and direction by Nicholson, who to date has written such films as Les Miserables, Unbroken, and Gladiator. He is a major talent. In all, this is a small but vibrant film that deserves a very large audience.

I once sat in a bar with my ex-girlfriend and Carly Simon's 'You're So Vain" came on the jukebox. "This song reminds me of you." she said. "I'm guilty of lots of things, but vanity isn't one of them." "No, you're not vain. It's a line in the song. Listen, see if you know which one..." ""You gave away the things you love and one of them was me."" "Yes." It's one of the saddest things anyone has ever said to me. But it wasn't true. She pushed me away, and I left.

The film is an honest, quiet, devastating story of the sort of love many people experience. The regrettable sort. People can live without the respect of others, but when that disrespect starts to erode your own self-respect, you need to leave. Some of us should never fall in love.

A decent film with good performances from all. The ending is lovely.

Two great actors in Annette Bening and Bill Nighy take us through the breakdown of a marriage. Not wonderful subject matter and some may argue that there may be better ways to wile away an hour and a half, but it is portrayed very well. I love Bill Nighy in everything, and even though I don't necessarily like his character here, he does it with aplomb.

Having been married for about the same time as the couple portrayed here it was interesting to see what both had done wrong, or could have done better to preserve their marriage. Some reviewers have blamed the wife but I think that's unfair. Perhaps my one reservation is that there was a subtle message running through it that if the husband, his lover and the son could move on and be happy, then so should the wife. That's a bit harsh as I'm sure many jilted wives would attest.

Feel sorry for the writer and director who evidently based this on his own parent's breakup. Interestingly, writing this now as the pandemic wreaks havoc around the world it is interesting to see that marriages are another victim of the virus. Too many couples having grown apart, and then forced to be together, have found the situation unbearable. How sad.

Hope Gap

The title put me off viewing this but when I finally did this was very good.

A tight script with even tighter acting, the great revelation being the total lack of insight Grace, played by Annette Benning, showed in her understanding of her behaviour to others. I am even unclear even at the end of the movie that she had made any progress on this point and this was where her personal redemption lay. I am glad she got what she deserved when the worm turned!

With that said it had great insight into the human condition and I really enjoyed the whole thing.

I'm giving this a hard 7 for the nuance of delivery by Benning it was an acting masterclass.

This is an English movie, set and filmed in the small city of Seaford, on the coast almost directly south of London. Just east of town are some white limestone cliffs and a spot there is called "Hope Gap", thus the title of the movie. It is a place the couple and their young son, now an adult, would often go, being a short walk up a hill from town.

Annette Bening, using the best British accent she can muster, is Grace and always reliable Bill Nighy is her husband of 29 years, Edward. He is quiet and non-confrontational, she is just the opposite and can easily be overbearing. Now an issue that has been building for some time, over a year, is coming to a head.

This is a good movie, perhaps my wife and I appreciate it more because we are of ages similar to theirs, and we have been married 28 1/2 years. You get into a routine, you know what each other likes and what each other's habits are. You don't really discuss "how is the relationship going?"

It isn't really amplified in the story but they mention that the two met 30 years earlier when he got onto the wrong train, often two single people will take that as an omen, "Fate brought us together." But that kind of thinking is dangerous and no substitute for getting to know someone really well before you decide that will be your partner for life. It looks like Grace and Edward would have each been happier if they had never met. Then pity the poor son who would never have existed!

We watched this at home on DVD from our public library.