The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps/Wonderland/Thomas and the Magic Railroad/Space Cowboys/The Girl on the Bridge

Roger Ebert - Host: [reviewing "Thomas and the Magic Railroad"] You don't see it so much there, but Peter Fonda goes through most of this movie in what looks like a very deep depression.

[Richard laughs]

Roger Ebert - Host: Maybe clinical. He's depressed because he has trouble bringing Lady, the locomotive, back to life. "I just can't make her steam."

[Richard laughs]

Roger Ebert - Host: Maybe he's also depressed because "Thomas and the Magic Railroad" seems so unsure of itself. Both Fonda and Baldwin seem stranded here in a world that never becomes charming or magical or certainly, even convincing.

Richard Roeper - Host: Well, y'know, Peter Fonda and Alec Baldwin, I'm watching these guys and thinking, "What, James Woods wasn't available?"

[Roger laughs]

Richard Roeper - Host: I mean, the casting on this is unbelievable! And yeah, Peter Fonda seems to be in some other movie, and Alec Baldwin, kinda, "I'm gonna do a kid's movie now!" And you mentioned about the trains and how they don't talk. Trains are already stuck on tracks.

Roger Ebert - Host: Yeah.

Richard Roeper - Host: Right? So now they're stuck, immobile, sort of on tracks, they can only go this way.

[puts hand over mouth and mumbles]

Richard Roeper - Host: And that's about the level of animation on here. And with all the fun things you can do these days with modern special effects, to have these little choo-choo trains...

Roger Ebert - Host: I know, now the...

Richard Roeper - Host: "Mmm mmm mmm!"

Roger Ebert - Host: The lips don't move...

Richard Roeper - Host: It's a nightmare!

Roger Ebert - Host: The lips don't move on PBS, but maybe that's because they have a low budget. But the lips should MOVE! I mean, either that, or the eyes shouldn't move. You know, take your choice.

Richard Roeper - Host: Well, read my lips: This is a bad movie.

Roger Ebert - Host: Oddly enough, Fonda's performance is not bad. It's in the wrong movie. It should be in something by Eugene O'Neill.

Richard Roeper - Host: A method actor somewhere. Exactly.

Roger Ebert - Host: He's sitting there: "Oh, I just can't, y'know, I've been here inside this mountain for all my life."

Richard Roeper - Host: Very, very perplexing.

Roger Ebert - Host: "Lady won't steam, and I'm just so depressed", and you're saying, y'know, "LIVEN UP! Y'know, this is for kids under FIVE!"