Der verlorene Sohn

Never have I been so uncomfortable so long a period of time. Normally movies have a scene that shifts into the distressing/uncomfortable and you're like "wow, what a great scene."

That's the whole movie. Except for about 3 light moments scattered throughout the subject matter of conversion therapy and the environment our protagonist Jared is literally TRAPPED in is awful. The homophobia and control that the Love In Action conversion program enforces over the poor souls inducted into this brainwashing camp becomes increasingly extreme. The way it causes distress and breaks people is shown differently through the various side characters and none of it is good. This is a tragic story of the real abuse of LGBT people happening in the US (and gay conversion therapy isn't explicitly banned everywhere in Aus either).

I was on the edge of my seat, deeply breathing, sighing, putting my hands to my face in awe and distress, the whole way through. Just when I thought this movie couldn't get more uncomfortable it finds a new height.

It achieves all this through plot and intimate performances. Everything else is so stripped back and naturalistic. There's barely any music, or at least not very noticeable background music (with the exception of the song Revelation by Troye Sivan/Jonsi, which will likely vie for a nomination for best original song). It looks like they almost didn't have a lighting crew for more of the film, instead relying on house lighting for a dark, moody, or contrasting aesthetic. The whole thing feels not like a stylistic piece of cinema, but a realistic look at a person's life. Which is the point given it is inspired by the real experiences of someone who suffered through the abuse of conversion therapy. This film is so well put together.

I never want to watch it again. Which is weird for a film I love so much. But this movie is harrowing. It haunts me. I don't get very emotional over film but this subject and execution was just so deeply uncomfortable for such a long period of time that I don't feel the need to ever subject myself to that again. Which is a great recommendation if you want something to make you feel sad/distressed for nearly 2 hours straight.

It is scary what we do to ourselves and our families. This is a dramatization of a real life horror. Well written, well acted and well directed.

The son of an Arkansas preacher goes to gay conversion therapy, first willingly, then reluctantly. Therapy includes religious (casting out demons), pop-psychoanalytical (family tree, family anger), and behavioral (learning stereotypical male mannerisms). While demanding truth, the conversion leader insists that what his subjects claim to have experienced is insufficient to be truthful.

I have seen movies on this theme before, the most recent being The Miseducation of Cameron Post. However, this hews closely to an autobiography, and at the Toronto International Film Festival, the actual mother and son showed up at the Q+A.

Lucas Hedges and director Joel Edgerton are wonderful as the main protagonists - the son and the therapy leader. Nicole Kidman only plays a supporting role as the mother, still a role bigger than Russell Crowe as the loving but misguided father. This is very much an advocacy film against gay conversion, and has the star power to get to a general audience.

Boy Erased is based on the memoir of Garrard Conley with the same name. We follow his journey from when he started questioning his sexuality, to his time in conversion therapy and what comes next thereafter. It stars Lucas Hedges (the poster boy for the suburban teenager, e.g. Lady Bird, Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri), singer-actor Troye Sivan, Joe Alwyn (The Favourite, but more famously known for now as Taylor Swift's beau) and good friends Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe who both needs no introduction.

Author Conley declined to convert his memoir to the film because he felt ill-equipped to do so, and Joel Edgerton, for the most part, did an okay job. I'm curious if the movie did justice to the book because while it was good, it wasn't as hard-hitting as one is inclined to expect from an LGBTQIA+-themed movie. Maybe it doesn't have to be, maybe we're just wired to expect controversy then engage in long-hours' worth of debate, trying to raise consciousness and empathy for this sector of society that continues to ask for it. This movie just quietly slips by, just enough to make you ask questions on where you are on the kindness spectrum. Whatever the effect is, the hope is that we all become like that doctor that helped our main character in her own little way. She explained she held religion, on one hand, and science on the other. Religion (the organization, not to be confused with God) does not have the answer to everything, nor does Science. You can't deny one over the other. You can't say a sweeping statement about how God works in mysterious ways, letting someone die of illness when there is a cure that can be given by Science.

There's a scene in the movie where it says one is being selfish by continuing to sin just because you're gay. We were raised by a society that did not know how to look at the LGBTQIA+. We followed what was the first one to talk about it which was the Bible. The question is, how come we keep clinging to one or two sentences in the Old Testament that looks down upon them when there are hundreds of statements in the New Testament about loving unconditionally. So, imagine someone confused, looking for understanding and acceptance from the outside world because he hasn't found it in himself yet, and the world's response is to disown, to harass and to become violent towards them. Did we really expect those negative responses to change a person for the BETTER? Did we forget that violence, begets violence? So instead of making the world a better place, the Bible by way of how people interpreted it, contributed to the damaged society that we now live in. The only hope is that we're becoming better as each new generation comes in. Whether we're in the right direction is still up for debate. For years we have tried discrimination that has led to suicide, depression, abuse and many more. Let's see where love and understanding will take us.

Boy Erased is the adaptation of Garrard Conley's memoirs published in 2016. Jared is nineteen years old when his parents learn about his homosexuality. He is then taken, more or less voluntarily, to a conversion center as part of a therapy called 'Source' during which he is subjected to a veritable mental torture to force him to change and correct his alleged deviance, within a childish and humiliating environment.

It is overall excellent, with a small damper: throughout the movie, all adult men are systematically as religious as obtuse. Jared will be accepted and understood by only one person: his mother. This context is excessively negative and the movie probably loses some credibility. Unless it's unfortunately the reality ... That being said, it's clearly a good movie.

Moreover, the author Garrard Conley is 34 in 2019, we can legitimately deduce that the film takes place in 2004. So, very recently, almost yesterday. Personally, I was absolutely unaware of such practices. Incredible and appalling!