Der verlorene Sohn

It is scary what we do to ourselves and our families. This is a dramatization of a real life horror. Well written, well acted and well directed.

This adaptation takes a lot of liberties with the story from the book, which is certainly common enough and can lead to a more entertaining film. However, in this case, the seminars seemed facile and facilitators were caricatures, almost laughable rather than menacing. It's much more clear in the book that the point of conversion therapy is to crush participants' self-esteem and replace it with a slavish adherence to fundamentalist ideology. It is brainwashing, intended to destroy independence of mind. The "therapy" is truly scary and I don't think this was captured well in the film.

The other aspect of the book that is mostly missing from the movie is Garrard Conley's interior dialogue. The plot of the book is actually pretty thin; Garrard's self reflections and his insightful portrayals of the other participants make his book far more moving than the film.

And finally, the film ends with Jared's confrontation with his father. The movie makes it seem like the cowed teen is finally standing up to his tormentor, the author of his tragedy. In the book, I never perceived that Garrard ever views his father with anything other than love and respect, as a person of sincere and deeply held views. His book is dedicated to his parents. You wouldn't know that from the final scene in the film.

Boy Erased is based on the memoir of Garrard Conley with the same name. We follow his journey from when he started questioning his sexuality, to his time in conversion therapy and what comes next thereafter. It stars Lucas Hedges (the poster boy for the suburban teenager, e.g. Lady Bird, Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri), singer-actor Troye Sivan, Joe Alwyn (The Favourite, but more famously known for now as Taylor Swift's beau) and good friends Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe who both needs no introduction.

Author Conley declined to convert his memoir to the film because he felt ill-equipped to do so, and Joel Edgerton, for the most part, did an okay job. I'm curious if the movie did justice to the book because while it was good, it wasn't as hard-hitting as one is inclined to expect from an LGBTQIA+-themed movie. Maybe it doesn't have to be, maybe we're just wired to expect controversy then engage in long-hours' worth of debate, trying to raise consciousness and empathy for this sector of society that continues to ask for it. This movie just quietly slips by, just enough to make you ask questions on where you are on the kindness spectrum. Whatever the effect is, the hope is that we all become like that doctor that helped our main character in her own little way. She explained she held religion, on one hand, and science on the other. Religion (the organization, not to be confused with God) does not have the answer to everything, nor does Science. You can't deny one over the other. You can't say a sweeping statement about how God works in mysterious ways, letting someone die of illness when there is a cure that can be given by Science.

There's a scene in the movie where it says one is being selfish by continuing to sin just because you're gay. We were raised by a society that did not know how to look at the LGBTQIA+. We followed what was the first one to talk about it which was the Bible. The question is, how come we keep clinging to one or two sentences in the Old Testament that looks down upon them when there are hundreds of statements in the New Testament about loving unconditionally. So, imagine someone confused, looking for understanding and acceptance from the outside world because he hasn't found it in himself yet, and the world's response is to disown, to harass and to become violent towards them. Did we really expect those negative responses to change a person for the BETTER? Did we forget that violence, begets violence? So instead of making the world a better place, the Bible by way of how people interpreted it, contributed to the damaged society that we now live in. The only hope is that we're becoming better as each new generation comes in. Whether we're in the right direction is still up for debate. For years we have tried discrimination that has led to suicide, depression, abuse and many more. Let's see where love and understanding will take us.

The son of an Arkansas preacher goes to gay conversion therapy, first willingly, then reluctantly. Therapy includes religious (casting out demons), pop-psychoanalytical (family tree, family anger), and behavioral (learning stereotypical male mannerisms). While demanding truth, the conversion leader insists that what his subjects claim to have experienced is insufficient to be truthful.

I have seen movies on this theme before, the most recent being The Miseducation of Cameron Post. However, this hews closely to an autobiography, and at the Toronto International Film Festival, the actual mother and son showed up at the Q+A.

Lucas Hedges and director Joel Edgerton are wonderful as the main protagonists - the son and the therapy leader. Nicole Kidman only plays a supporting role as the mother, still a role bigger than Russell Crowe as the loving but misguided father. This is very much an advocacy film against gay conversion, and has the star power to get to a general audience.

I enjoy horror films. I have watched hundreds of them, everything from the classic 1930s Universal titles like Dracula and Frankenstein, to some of the more modern high-tech efforts. In general they don't scare me. This film does. The amount of ignorance and cruelty portrayed in this film should warrant it an X rating. The truth is, I wasn't even sure at the beginning whether it was for or against its subject matter. You'd think in the 21st century that there would be more members of The Flat Earth Society than people who truly believe you can "pray away the gay." Obviously I'm wrong. In fact, the VP candidate of a major party is a strong advocate for that belief. So I'm not sure what this film really is. Is it a documentary? Is it a melodrama? Is it just a flat-out horror film? Whatever it is, it put me squarely in touch with the amount of ignorance and cruelty that exist in my fellow humans. We criticize other cultures who practice female genital mutilation, yet we - decent Christian folks - do this? If I go see a film about some shape-shifting mutant who eats human brains for dessert, I wouldn't be particularly troubled by it (other than the graphic FX). At the least, I know that there were no shape-shifting mutants in the theatre audience with me. I wish I I had the same confidence about who sat in the theatre with me watching this film on any given night. Folks like this are out there, and the unspeakable pain they subject others to in the name of their religious beliefs is truly frightening. This is a good film, competently cast and acted, and well written and directed. I hope it finds the audience it deserves. I hope it alleviates some pain and suffering somewhere, which is an odd mission for a horror film.