5-Headed Shark Attack

Ok so lets get right to it. This movie set a new low for any movie. The acting stunk. The special effects were high schoolish. I could write a book on how stupid the writing was. No one would act this in a real situation. But what has been seen can not be unseen. Unfortunately. The only good thing about the movie were the bikin shots which weren't all that great.

I've seen some reviews that give this a 10/10 or say that this is the scariest thing they have seen (scarier than "Silence of the Lambs" or "The Shining" - WTactualF?!?!?! - They must have been paid to write the rubbish!

The title should give you an indication that this is not a super epic or realistic film, and on that it clearly delivers. A typical SyFy film with over the top CGI, bad acting, poor story and impossible feats of reality and nonsense. As the title suggests, a mutated aquatic predator is on the loose. It's up to the local coast guard and scientists from a Puerto Rican Aquarium to stop it before the kill count rises. Along the way you'll get the usual, and expected pointless deaths and tongue in cheek dialogue delivered in an all too camp way. A follow-up to "3 Headed Shark Attack" which won't ruin your cinema/TV movie experience if you miss it and don't bother. If you are a fan of tacky shark based films you'd probably be better looking at "Sharknado". I knew what to expect before watching this and still it failed to deliver any real enjoyment, just anther SyFy Shark film jumping on the bandwagon of an over populated shark infested water of films.

I won't leave spoilers, I'll save them for the Goofs section instead because there were loads of mistakes throughout, but FTR the shark does have 5 heads, it just isn't apparent till half way through because of bad editing, or because the production team only decided to add a fifth 5th head halfway through editing FFS.

2 out of 10 and that's being generous!!

Being neither a purposely ridiculous joke film, nor a "so bad that it's good" B-movie, this movie just hovers in a dull middle territory that makes it not worth the watch.

Typical creature feature with all the dated and contrived plot points of random attacks which are first met with disbelief, followed by curiosity, and the eventual plan to go out and get/kill it. Not an ounce of creativity or originality (not that I was expecting it, but just another point in how dull it is) save for the shark having five heads. Although it doesn't match the film poster and does not look like a "demented starfish". It actually starts out with a believable enough four heads, but the fifth head that comes later requires too much suspension of any logic.

There's nothing too alarmingly or comedically awful about the production quality or the CGI (I mean, you can't expect Hollywood quality in the first place). Coupled with the contrived and sub-par writing, this leaves nothing to be entertained by, whether you planned to take the movie seriously or get your schadenfreude kicks out of mocking it.

We start with a cover graphic that can not count to five. It shows five fierce shark heads where, in this film there are only for on the front of the fish. I say 'suicide by shark' for good reason. Of course the shark heads must be 'fed' by unlucky actors but how about just a tad of creativity! We know it is suicide by shark to stand at the very tip of the boat, leaning toward the water, look for the shark while at the same time you might as well wear an 'eat me' sign. Or tip toe along the edge of a small craft, hardly able to keep your balance so that falling into the water is certain.

The project head, Thaddeus, wants to catch the shark. He takes his mostly eye-candy crew and, so far as I could tell, not a shred of equipment he would need to capture the shark if it swam to the boat and said 'take me.'

Red was the shark hunter type character from Jaws. Sadly he was given the silliest lines in the film. Does anyone see the shark, know where it is? And, my favorite, he's still alive... bullets won't kill him..... this after he handed out guns and has his crew shooting. Why, if bullets are useless?

Worst is the use of hand guns to kill any large monster. Red gives a girl a hand gun while others get rifles. The two cope on the police boat can have any weapon they wish. What do they choose against the beast....yup...little bitty pistols. There is nothing sillier then using and shooting little pistols at any large, thick skinned beast. Red was, of course right, bullets can not kill the beast. Boats are under attack for ten minutes before the cop calls for help. Someone said there were five writers. If true then they needed 8 or 10 to easily fix the above, unnecessary fails. On the plus side there were fun moments, especially the opening shark attack where all four 'major' heads decide its meal time!

Horrible watch, won't watch again, and can't recommend.

This is a movie that was designed for a Bad Movie Night: the only way I can justify watching this trash.

To think that someone worked so hard on that shark for this.

The best thing about this movie is that Nikki Howard is hot: and that's a sign that there really anything good going on in the movie itself.