Mississippi River Sharks

Syfy is known for horrible made for TV CGI junk but this one is crappier than usual. I think a group of middle schoolers with a camcorder could have done better. Total waste of time.

Preparing for an annual tradition, a group of locals at a fishing competition on the Mississippi River find that the whole affair has been invaded by a species of man-eating sharks and must find a way of getting the rest of the fishermen off the river and stop the sharks.

There was a lot to really like in this one. One of the film's positive points is the fact that there's plenty of solid lead-up throughout here to get the main point of the film going. With the exploits of the fishing competition carrying on with all the fine build-up here of the big attacks that provide all the lead-in to the infestation, from the first fisherman attack out on the marina and the ensuing ambush on the deputy trying to clean up the crime scene, the confrontation on the main section of the river where they produce the creature for the masses and the sequence where the creatures arrive to interrupt their plan to stop them by launching the out-of-water attack on the locals. With these scenes all coming to point out the rather fun concept of the creatures invading the fishing competition with the disbelieving locals, there's a lot to like with the idea of this one setting up a race to warn people against the attacking creatures while they work their way down in several shorter attack scenes. Given that these attacks are pretty much continuous for the most part as it shows them grabbing the fishermen off the river or jumping out of the water to grab people, that allows this one to really give this the kind of frantic pace that really appeals to the cheesy nature of the storyline. That even continues on into the rather fun finale where their plan to rid the sharks is initially foiled through sheer ineptitude rather than anything to do with the film itself even though that carries the action rather nicely and sets up some rather fun moments here. Alongside the big body count that produces some solid CGI gore, these here make for quite a lot to like in the face of the few minor flaws. The film's biggest issue is the rather problematic reasoning why the mayor continues the fishing competition as long as he does even in the face of the mounting evidence against it. There's obviously sharks in the water and have already eaten several by the time this one gets going, but the fact that he keeps it going for ludicrous reasoning is simply continuing a genre standby more than anything else and it just makes no sense why it would be featured. The continual ineptitude displayed to carry on the film makes no sense either and really does serve the film no reason for existing longer than it really should. The CGI is also a problem, but overall there's a lot to like here.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence and Language.

Right, well we all know what we are in for when we sit down to watch a movie such as "Mississippi River Sharks". I mean, just look at the DVD cover and you already know what it is going to be like.

But still, there is that little voice at the far, far back of your mind that beckons and compels you to sit down and watch it, on the slightest of hopes that this might actually turn out to be a good shark movie.

It wasn't!

"Mississippi River Sharks" was impeded by an overly predictable storyline, which was, in fact, so predictable that even a blind and deaf person would be able to foresee what would happen next. Yep, it was that predictable. And that meant that there were absolutely no surprises or twists or turns along the progression of the movie.

The CGI effects in "Mississippi River Sharks" was downright abysmal and laughable at best. Not once did they manage to make it look realistic, and that just made it impossible to take it the least bit serious.

For a movie in the killer shark genre, or whatever you classify the shark movies as, then "Mississippi River Sharks" was a very generic and mundane addition to the genre, and it offered absolutely nothing new to the genre.

The cast was adequate, taking into consideration the type of movie and its budget size. You had Jason London and Jeremy London in the movie, which should be enough of an indicator of what you are in for here.

If you enjoy shark movies, then I strongly suggest that you sink your jaws, wink wink, into another movie, because "Mississippi River Sharks" is really not worth the time or effort.

RELEASED TO TV IN 2017 and directed by Misty Talley, "Mississippi River Sharks" details events in Mississippi when several sharks travel up the river looking for a new food source and threaten people at a fish rodeo.

Some of these TV shark-attack flicks take the serious route (e.g. 2009's "Malibu Shark Attack") while others shoot for campy amusement (e.g. 2012's "Jersey Shore Shark Attack). "Mississippi River Sharks" takes the latter approach. Thankfully, it's not all goofy; there's some serious drama thrown into the mix, like the blossoming romance between Tara (Cassie Steele) and the black dude (Tahj Vaughans), as well as issues with her dad (Miles Doleac). Jason London plays himself as the star of the fictitious B-movie franchise "Shark Bite," although he wasn't in "Shark Bite 3" (lol).

The meshing of silly comedy and cartoony gore with serious drama offers a mixed experience. It's entertaining to a degree, but you can't take it serious. The presence of Cassie Steele and cutie Ashton Leigh (in the prologue & epilogue) are never milked for their potential. The movie's likable, but overlong at only about 87 minutes. The weak final act drags.

THE MOVIE WAS SHOT IN Ocean Springs, Mississippi, with studio work done in New Orleans. WRITER: Marcy Holland. ADDITIONAL CAST: Dean J. West plays one of the three main protagonists while Michelle West appears as a pesky, but perky reporter.

GRADE: C

Watching Mississippi River Shark is like subjecting yourself to the worst kind of cinematic torture. The movie's budget must have been no more than a few dollars, because the special effects are laughably awful. The sharks look like something straight out of a cheap video game from the early 2000s, and they barely move in any way that resembles real life. The acting is so wooden that I wouldn't be surprised if they cast random people off the street.

The plot? Don't even bother trying to make sense of it. It's as if the writers didn't care about making anything even remotely believable. Sharks in the Mississippi River? Really? Everyone involved in this movie seems to have completely given up on logic or quality. It's an embarrassing attempt at a creature feature that fails on every level. Save yourself the headache and skip this disaster.