White Men Can't Jump

You could watch this.. or you could go and find someone giving away the original on DVD - its sure to be out there - worst case on VHS!.

Why bother remaking a movie and not making it better? Why bother remaking a movie when the original is still understandable and relevant.

Its bad enough remaking current foreign language films because Americans cant read subtitles - but there is no logic to remaking this and so poorly. Sure - remake Gone with the Wind or The African Queen if you think you can tell the story in today's world - but making this was a waste of time and effort - and you will be wasting yours if you watch it.

I don't know why anyone thought this was a good idea because the original White Men Can't Jump is great with two characters played by two actors that are almost impossible to replicate. The chemistry between Walls and Harlow is cheesy at best. Wesley Snipes who apparently is not a good basketball player and they ran most of his basketball scenes in show motion especially that spin move that would never work against anyone still looks better than anything they were doing in this with people that are not bad ball players from what I've been told. Then there is Woody. Woody and Snipes were perfect and terrible together, but in a believable way. You could see them being life long best friends even after all the awful things they did to each other afterwards. I fell like I just reviewed the original against the new one and that's the very reason why this isn't going to be popular at all. It will be compared to the original because the original is a time capsule of sorts and beloved by most everyone. If you haven't seen the original watch it. Skip this. If you have hulu give this one a go I guess, but do not spend money on it.

Here is a charmless remake that has the same ideas and characters as the original, but none of the energy. Director Calmatic's idea of a sports film is to put a rap soundtrack on and show us poorly shot and edited basketball scenes that are tedious to follow and care.

There are lots of rambling in this movie. This is not neccessarily a complaint. There are lots and lots of trashtalk in the original White Men Can't Jump too, except those are brought with wit and delivered by actors that know how to act intimidating and over-confident. The actors here are as flat as a cardboard. Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrellson are way out of Sinqua Walls and Jack Harlow's league.

So the story involves Harlow and Walls teaming up to play basketball. That's about it for the movie's depth in storytelling. The screenplay here has barely any emotional engagement. In the climax of the movie, in what was supposedly the high point of the movie, I felt nothing. Any other viewer will not feel anything. Not even our characters look like they felt anything. It's all a lazy string of basketball montages and dialogue so monotonous and uninteresting that it plays like a conversation you are stuck in and want to get out of.

This is a movie that thinks it has really cool vibe but is just a slog. Calmatic's previous film is House Party, another remake of a (somewhat) classic. Maybe it is time for him to work with material that are at least original. Maybe remakes like this shouldn't exist for the best.

Is this the greatest movie ever made? No.

Is it the greatest remake ever? Also no.

Was it a fun watch? Absolutely!

If you can just understand that this borrows the premise and setting from the original and understand that this is its own movie you will enjoy it so much more. Quit trying to compare it against the original. It really has some great dialogue and witty humor. The basketball scenes are fun and the drama seems believable.

Jack Harlow did a great job and was a believable hustler. Sinqua Walls really killed it and gave some serious heart.

Just go into this expecting to have fun and be entertained and you won't be disappointed.

Where to begin? If this movie was "stand alone" it would be maybe a 3.5 star worthy made for tv movie. It could do little to be any more different from the classic Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson film. The two similarities are that, basketball is a theme, and one white character and one black character. Aside from that, they are not similar. It seems like the studio was so excited to license the title that they forgot to hire someone to write a script. They could have ripped the old script verbatim and it probably would have been better. Andrew Schulz' character may be the only watchable performance. That is not to say that all the acting was bad, but the plot and development would have made it impossible for a main character to stand out. Lance Reddick would be ashamed to have it dedicated to him. What a barely watchable pile of Hollywood money grab excrement.