Oceans Rising

Words cannot express how horrible this movie is. There is nothing else to say besides save the 1.5 hours of your life and read a book. The reviewers are now telling me I must write at least five lines for a submission. Seriously, I am 50 years old and this was by FAR the worst movie I have ever seen....and I have suffered through Will Farrell movies. Enough lines yet?

This gem throws out all factual science, possibility and reality. If you can't completely suspend even limited understanding of what's real, then you're going to absolutely hate this flick.

The script is horrible. The acting is horrible. The direction is horrible. The special effects are horrible. The story itself is completely unbelievable. There's literally a complete lack of anything plausible or redeeming in this film.

It's pure comedic genius if you ask me. If each actor made $500 for being in this film, I would say congrats on robbing the film company for $495 each.

The acting is awful, just awful. A high school drama club could do better. The script is ridiculous. The science doesn't even pretend to make sense and the dialogue is completely unrealistic. The worst thing though is the special effects. The tiny model boat they use for the ocean scenes doesn't look anything at all like a real boat, let alone the boat the people are in. The ocean even looks fake. I don't know for sure but it looks like the ocean scenes might have been filmed in a kiddy pool with a fan blowing over the surface. It was not funny enough to be funny, campy enough to be another Sharknado, or good enough to be a time killer movie. Really, really bad.

Can I give this a NEGATIVE 10? The concept of this movie is in 2017, a rather old concept in terms of real science and an even older in sci-fi. The synopsis for this movie is a complete lie. There is no ark built. It's a charter fishing boat that the main character has bought. The budget of this movie must have been only for the camera and effects computer rentals. That this movie is owned by Broken Films LLC is ironically truthful. In almost half a century, I have never seen such horrible acting, script writing, effects, editing, total disrespect to physical time lines and even the very basics of physics that even sci-fi can't explain, and exasperatingly unbelievable character interaction. That SciFi allowed this to make it to viewers makes me wonder the sanity of its top brass. That it wasn't scrapped after reading the initial script is even more disturbing. I would have believed a script that gave the main characters the power of thought to change the earth's polarity a more plausible concept over their mangling of real particle physics. The product of worm riddled brains. Not even good for white noise while you sleep at night.

There's something terrible about to happen to the world - a giant, Earth-killing wave will soon eradicate nearly everything. Only one man, a scientist no less, can save humanity but the powers that be won't listen to him. So, he does the next best thing: builds an ark that holds exactly 11 people.

It doesn't take too long for this disaster to occur, and when it does Dr. Josh and his loyal colleague, Dr. Pam, are in the right place at the right time - the boat yard! Suddenly, those who doubted Dr. Josh need his help with saving what's left of the planet. Now, the dynamic duo need to get to CERN in Switzerland and accelerate some particles, displace some gravitons, and reset the earth's magnetic field. Can they overcome impossible odds and do the impossible?

"I need three of you guys on the double," shouts Dr.Pam to a group of survivors she and Dr.Josh picked up floating around in the endless sea. "You're going to save the world."

This movie is classified as an "Action, Sci-Fi, Thriller." Well, let's see. Action? Check! Sci-Fi? Hmm, well ok. Thriller? Uhm...sure. How about adding "Comedy"? There are some serious LOL moments that I don't think are scripted as LOL moments. This is such an awesomely bad movie, and I think it actually takes pride in being that dreadful. The CGI is so awful it's mind-blowing.

Nonetheless, we need these kinds of atrocious movies to be more thankful for the ones that are bad, but not this bad. Therefore, when we see movies like "Sharnado (2013)", or the classic "Pootie Tang (2001)", we'll know that things can get worse. Quite worse.

TWO things you'll LIKE about "Oceans Rising": 1) If you're in a bad mood, this movie will cheer you up. 2) The next movie you see after this one will be better because they can't possible get worse than this one.

TWO things you'll DISLIKE: 1) The movie itself. 2) Whomever recommended it to you