60 Seconds to Di3

Embarrassingly awful "filmmaking". Perhaps a good alternative to waterboarding. Unimaginative, thoughtless, pseudo "arty" cinematography, ideas, leaving much to the imagination because the writers had next to none of their own.

A mix of production values in these short stories ( I mean really short). Definitely not enough time to tell a story or even half a story. Quantity hurts this movie...

So you're captured by a psycho, or maybe a terrorist, or maybe you have discovered you have a really fast acting and really painful terminal disease, and you want to kill yourself quickly and relatively painlessly. Voila, just watch this or any of the other 60 second movies and you will die a relatively painless death from sheer boredom, and possibly embarrassment for the people who think they're acting. I say relatively painless, so you're going to have to expect a little pain, as much pain as bad acting and bad script writing can inflict. But it's not a bad way to go when you think about it, I mean the movie is not that painful compared to say getting eaten by piranhas, or falling into a person-sized meat grinder, we're getting torn apart by angry baboons (actually even happy baboons tearing you apart would be kind of painful I guess).

It also makes suicide pacts very easy to complete, as you just tell yourself to the other person and don't leave the living room while it's playing.

Big warning however, those who discover your body(s) might be in danger if the movie is still playing. This would of course be acceptable if it was your mother-in-law but be kind to firemen and ambulance people and make sure you have some kind of dead man switch to shut the movie off when you kick.

People without talent or imagination make their first movies.

Just wow. Are these people actually aspiring filmmakers and actors?

A cool idea in theory, but in reality, even the VERY few noteworthy and memorable entries are instantly forgotten amongst such an overwhelming mass of annoyance, the quick 60 second format doing everyone involved a disservice. Other than the ones that used half that runtime for their credits, or just had someone staring at tv static with droning music behind it for their short. What's the point?

We started with the best one, ended with the worst- truly poetic. Tony newton has to be stopped, he is a menace to society. We kept seeing his name along with daniel dikov (shout out to figgis and flem tho) and their shorts were so bad, why do they so get many spots??? It has been an adventure, godspeed to any souls who have also watched all of these. Horror fans are the worst honestly.