The Broken Key

I believe that this movie was made so bloody awful on purpose, and it *is* so bad that it's actually funny, like in The Producers.

It's like when you wake up and you remember your dream - flows illogically from one scene and action to another unrelated scene and action, and so on. This is one weird movie!

Yes, so bad it's funny...but not funny enough to ignore these reviews and watch it!

This film just doesn't make sense. The dialogue, when not inaudible due to the musical score making unheard, is just nonsense. Coupling terrible directing and odious scripts means that I really could not make any sense of what characters were feeling.

For example, character voices cry out top volume in fear as soon as another new character enters focus despite being unknown to the protagonist and seconds before launching into a terribly choreographed fight scene.

Most of the actors are examples of once great actors who now are too tired to give a good interpretation of the script. No surprise to see the terribly depressing form of Michael Madsen there. I expected to see him with another washed-up actor of Tim Sizemore, but he manages to butcher the scenes enough on his own.

Another reviewer wrote about how this film is like nails down a blackboard. I think this is an apt description of scenes that jump around like some Junior film student's project made using home video segments rather than having a set and crew along with others who should have pulled together the show into some kind of discernible storyline or plot. Instead this film is honestly one of the worst ones I have ever seen.

If you want more evidence for how bad this film is, then consider this. My friends are all avid movie watchers. We've all sat through some turkeys in our time, but this was the first film we have ever watched that caused several caffeinated and sugar-high adults to fall asleep during watching it. We've NEVER done that before or since this movie.

After 2hrs of watching this movie, I've discovered that the "Secret for eternal life on Earth" is to not watch this movie!

While the CGI is plentiful, the plot is non-existent. It's like they tried to commingle the 'The Celestine Prophecy' with 'The Da Vinci Code' and ended up with mud pie... it's a great big mess of nothing. You can't even look to the dialogue for help, because at times it doesn't even appear to be coming from the actor's lips, giving the impression the movie is dubbed, which it isn't.

If you absolutely have to watch this film, curl up with a good book and let it play in the background. At least then you will have done something worthwhile with your time, otherwise, you can get more entertainment out of watching 'The Tigger Movie'.

THE BROKEN KEY has an abysmaly bad reputation. It has an appalling score of 2,3 but still 416 ratings so, it will never make the Bottom 100 (the list of the worst rated and reviewed movies of all time that have at least 10,000 ratings). And, despite the poster features all the known names the lead is played by an unknown that has never made movies before and is known only in Italy (where I live) for having appeared in a trashy reality TV show that is followed by rotten-brained people. So why I saw it? Well, from time to time I love to find and watch movies with notoriously bad reputations. But this... it was too much, and according to most of the reviews I am one of the very few that had the guts of seeing it to the very end! Now I can discuss it.

It begins with very overlong credits where the italian names are put first, then we see the Pyramid of Giza and the on-screen text says 'Egypt, tomorrow' and we then move to Rome and it says 'Rome, 2033 AD'. We then see Hiram Abif (Franco Nero, the father of director Louis Nero) having a swim and then has problems (considering that Nero was 75 when he did this, it's no surprise) and has to be taken on surface. We are then introduced to our lead Arthur J Adams (Andrea Cocco) that meets scientist Adrian Moonlight (Rutger Hauer) and is tasked of finding the broken key and open a mysterious gate. Arthur goes, and his mission will go not without meeting various characters and bizarre situations. First he goes to a class held by writer Tullio De Marco (Michael Madsen) about the importance of paper, and after only 2 minutes of screen time we see Tullio hanging from a bridge. Second, he goes to count Rosebud (Christopher Lambert) that is an expert on the female body that has spme sort of metamorphosis where he becomes older and is then nowhere to be seen. Third, he goes to an abbey where Father Hugo (William Baldwin) tells Arthur about all the secrets of the text, and it's then shot by some marauders. After lots of padding Arthur will meet the older woman (Geraldine Chaplin) that will give him the Broken Key for opening the Zimurg Corporation, but I think nobody would see it.

To saying that THE BROKEN KEY is bad is certainly an understatement. The sets are great but the acting by the lead so heavy and the known names appear for just a few minutes and then they are nowhere to be seen, and you might think that with such respected names it would have been at least a decent viewing experience but nope, they put lots of unnecessary padding that made the movie last 2 hours and 15 minutes of absolute nonsense. The more the time passes the more you are bound to leave it, and I think I should deserve a medal for having seeing it to the very end! And the music is not only forgettable, but jarring as most of the other problems of the movie.

Overall, a movie so bad that it makes you ask why it was even made in the first place, but as it was over, I could see why it will always miss being in the Bottom 100... I am probably the only one who dared to finish it! If someone you know recommends it to you... run! Even for gluttons for punishments like me (that I had to take this task on my shoulders) is like a ride to the dark world. And don't say I didn't warn you!

The other reviewers are too kind to this truly painful to watch extravaganza that drags on and on yet goes nowhere..The acting is like listening to fingernails on a chalkboard and the music score drones on neverendingly at levels that Almost drown out the dialogue...If I had to find anything in this movie to redeem it,one would struggle.. Even on fastforward this one is hard to stomach...You have been warned..