Caged to Kill

Another month and another Dolph Lundgren VOD movie. An ex cop stages a bank robbery in order to be caught and jailed in the same prison as the ruthless Russian mobster Balam (Chuck Lidell), so he can get revenge against him for killing his family years earlier. Matthew Reese (who you've probably never heard of) is the star of the show here, although you'd never know it as all the promotional material suggests that Lundgren and Liddell are the co-leads despite the fact they're barely in it! Director John Lyde made the action/apocalypse/fantasy films Survivor and Curse of the Dragon Slayer, and manages to cobble together some decent action and fight scenes into a movie that's just an excuse to show people beating one another up. The plot is ludicrous, as are some of the twists, but then what do you expect from a script written by a Spunky Dustin Ward?

Best part of this movie was Chuck trying to do a Russian accent...the longer he has to talk the more it goes leans towards Colombian, very funny.

You could honestly miss large chunks of the movie and still know what is going on.

Not good, but not bad either.

PRISON RIOT is another B-movie thriller set in a violent prison, where an undercover cop is gunning for revenge against the crime boss who had his family killed. Although Dolph Lundgren features predominantly on the box art, he's actually playing in support here, with the main role given over to unknown actor Matthew Reese. There's also a third character, played by Danielle Chuchran, who seems to have been added to the mix to bring in some female-on-female action.

Inevitably, the plotting and narrative of PRISON RIOT aren't up to much, but the focus is instead on plentiful action sequences. And the good news is that they're pretty good. Gone are the lumbering, slow fights of many a 1990s-era straight-to-VHS fight flick; instead, we get martial arts-themed bouts that have clearly been inspired by the likes of THE RAID. I'm talking multiple opponents and weapons, actors being thrown around the sets, and mucho violence.

Things culminate in a large-scale prison riot - as the title would suggest - which doesn't disappoint. Yes, the acting is rather wooden, with only Lundgren bringing some of his trademark charm to the proceedings, but when a film offers up a wealth of hard-hitting action it doesn't matter too much. Given that I'm a massive fan of THE RAID, any film which seeks to imitate that film is okay in my book, and PRISON RIOT hits the mark nicely.

No no no, just NO. I can't even begin to, ok, its supposed to be a comedy I think, but its funny for reasons that were not intentional. I wasted enough time on this movie, two hours I'll never get back. This will be my shortest review ever. Hard NO.

Chuck Liddell's accent is terrible, and completely unnecessary to the plot (there's no reason for him to be Russian for the story to work).

The producer/lead actor seems to be a good martial artist, but man, he can not act. That's probably okay, though, nobody else in this movie really can, either.

The dialog is awful, but as with many action movies, it really only exists to move the story from one action sequence to the next.

The most unforgivable thing about this action-centric B-movie is that the action is atrocious. I don't know if the choreographer is blind, or has just never seen human beings move before, but these fight scenes had me laughing.

I gave 2 stars instead of one, because the plot is one I haven't seen before. It's not THAT different from other prison movies, but the reason for the antagonist being there is a neat idea.