Mega Shark vs. Kolossus

Just for the laughs. When a movie like mega shark vs predator? 😂

Mega Shark vs. Kolossus (2015)

* (out of 4)

Considering how awful this movie is, I'm not going to spend too much time with the plot since we've basically got the good ol' U.S.A. going up against Russia, which leads to our giant shark battling a large robot.

MEGA SHARK VS. KOLOSSUS is the fourth film in the "Mega Shark" series and it's certainly the worst to date. I say it every time I watch a film like this but you really can't go in expecting anything in terms of quality but instead you hope to just find some cheap entertainment. Sadly, there really wasn't anything entertaining here as the entire film was a real chore to sit through and at just 90 minutes the thing feels three times longer.

I'm really not sure who thought it was a good idea to have a screenplay full of dialogue but it really backfires because this film is simply boring from start to end. The worst thing is that we're given subplots dealing with science and politics and it's just downright awful and makes for some horrid melodrama and lame comedy. The CGI effects of the two monsters were better than you'd expect but why the two didn't battle more is anyone's guess. Either way, this is a really bad movie that should just be skipped.

Off the coast of Brazil, a conflict erupts between the United States and Russia. A submarine, ship and weird helicopter are involved. Unfortunately, another "Mega Shark" is released. The characters thought they'd seen the last of them over a year ago, in "Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark" (2014), the best of the four stories in this series, so far. Baseball-capped Ernest Thomas (as Admiral Titus Jackson) is peeved. Elsewhere, a giant robot called "Kolossus" is released. A relic from the US/USSR Cold War, "Kolossus" is in a nasty mood. For some undecipherable reason, the two monsters meet. Maybe they want to have sex - it's difficult to tell...

Mr. Thomas makes a wise exit from this disconnected disaster. He was likewise smart as "Raj" on the old TV sitcom "What's Happening!!" Splitting the leading female star duties are spectacled commander Illeana Douglas (as Alison Gray) and tightly-attired agent Amy Rider (as Moira King). Mr. Thomas is the granddaughter of golden age Hollywood actor Melvyn Douglas. Blond Brody Hutzler (as Joshua Dane) has a little fun near the end. Apparently, director Christopher Ray and the crew were given a string of Christmas tree bulbs to use for lighting. The story makes very little sense and is almost impossible to watch with any attention.

** Mega Shark vs Kolossus (2015-05-16) Christopher Ray ~ Illeana Douglas, Amy Rider, Ernest Thomas, Brody Hutzler

You could try and rate this movie by realism, acting prowess of the cast, and the excellence of the story. But that's like trying to rate the Shawshank Redemption by the amount of comedy, and its suitableness for kids.

This is a mega-monster parody.

It's the kind of movie you watch with your friends while laughing and generally having a good time. And its excellent at that. The movie is chock full of action sequences, special effects and interesting twists that keep your attention. At the same time, it doesn't make the mistake of taking itself too seriously with the drama and art.

The acting is not great, but good enough to prevent you from gouging your eyes out. The characters are likable clichés from all of your favourite movies. And the story makes sense almost half of the time.

You don't HAVE to see this movie. But if you're looking for something fun to watch that's not too heavy; this is as good a choice as any.

I love the way that Asylum actively promotes recycling by throwing in random clips from U.S. Navy stock footage regardless of whether this or that particular ship has previously been used in this movie. This one has clips of an Iowa-class battleship firing its big guns that I am pretty sure were used in American Warships, as well as the mandatory sinking of a U.S. aircraft carrier using the same special effect that was previously used in American Warships and Age of Ice. We also have the obligatory black actor as the senior Naval officer. No problem there, but will somebody please tell Asylum that Admirals do not tool around in destroyers, and that if you are going to film the Admiral on the bridge in open sea, it would be good not to have trees and land visible out the non-military window of the bridge they are filming on. Three stars for the three drinks you will need to get through this one.