Mega Shark vs. Kolossus

The Mega Shark movies are the kind that aren't to be expected much from, but even with that in mind I personally didn't consider either of them particularly good, some fun moments, mostly for the so-bad-it's-good value there was, but mostly they were too cheap and silly to take it even for what they were. Mega Shark vs Kolossus is one of the better movies in the series along with Mecha Shark, but for me it was only passable at best.

While the special effects are usually terrible in the Mega Shark movies, and Asylum/SyFy movies in general, they don't look too bad here. The two title monsters are not as cheap as feared and succeed in giving their scenes personality. The shark could have looked far worse as far as low-budget sharks go, a good amount of detail went into it actually, and is actually pretty fiercely menacing, rather than being goofy or bringing unintentional humour like most low-budget sharks. The kolossus character is imposingly designed and a cool, heroic character, the two's chemistry is great and help make their scenes (of which there's generally not enough, and they're a little too short) watchable. The last act especially is a lot of fun, and makes one wish that it came earlier and that the rest of the movie was to its level. The scenery is very nice and the underwater scenes are shot well. Didn't think much of the acting on the most part, but Amy Rider did a nice job.

However, the rest of the acting is pretty dire, especially from the captain whose actor seems to be channelling Samuel L. Jackson and doing so while overacting embarrassingly poorly. Illeana Douglas is also somewhat bland. The script is a mess, with the human drama scenes with its messy mix of scientific gobbledygook and military jargon struggling to make sense and they doesn't ring true at any time (actually sounding made up on the spot), and the humour parts are cheesy and contrived, the dialogue being so awkwardly awful it's cringe-worthy. It also does nothing to develop the characters or make them engaging or identifiable, they're little more than walking clichés written in the most cardboard way.

Despite coming to life in the last act, most of the movie's story is tiresomely ridiculous and dull, trying so and too hard to over-the-top and fun (even in the serious scenes, that as a result became overheated and ham-fisted) that it's tiring, especially when all the Mega Shark movies take that approach (concept-wise there's not much new either) and when you see it so many times with The Asylum/SyFy. The editing tends to be haphazard and the movie is lit in a drab way, while the direction only shows some personality in the last act but is flat everywhere else and the music is at best generic.

Overall, while one of the better movies in the Mega Shark series it is only reasonably passable. 4/10 Bethany Cox

Here we have the fourth instalment of the mega shark series. This time throwing in a doomsday robot called kolossus into the mix, that our heroes have to battle. The cast do ok in their roles with what they are given. The cgi is the same as always but hey its what I expected and something to watch thats entertaining enough. Altogether ok but what more do you expect from an asylum film. One thing I would like to know though is what happened to the blonde woman from the beginning.

This is one of the worst of the Asylum 'giant monster' films I've watched yet. It manages to be a much bigger disappointment than the original MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS and also wastes a premise that wouldn't have been out of place in a kaiju flick: a giant shark is once again terrorising international waters, and the danger is compounded when a giant Russian colossus comes out of the depths to also wreak havoc.

It simply feels like the guys at The Asylum weren't trying at all with this one. The special effects are very poor indeed, particularly the underwater stuff, although I admit I did get a kick out of the few scenes of the Kolossus walking around and destroying stuff (it goes back to my childhood experience with Talos in JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS). The giant shark stuff is really, really, pitiful and has a hackneyed, 'seen it all' before feel.

There aren't even any recognisable stars in this one, just a bunch of bad actors going through the motions. The CGI is horrible, the lighting is inefficient, and there's no gore or violence to speak of. It all feels like a half-hearted cartoon and is even worse than comparable stuff like BERMUDA TENTACLES - and that's saying something!

Off the coast of Brazil, a conflict erupts between the United States and Russia. A submarine, ship and weird helicopter are involved. Unfortunately, another "Mega Shark" is released. The characters thought they'd seen the last of them over a year ago, in "Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark" (2014), the best of the four stories in this series, so far. Baseball-capped Ernest Thomas (as Admiral Titus Jackson) is peeved. Elsewhere, a giant robot called "Kolossus" is released. A relic from the US/USSR Cold War, "Kolossus" is in a nasty mood. For some undecipherable reason, the two monsters meet. Maybe they want to have sex - it's difficult to tell...

Mr. Thomas makes a wise exit from this disconnected disaster. He was likewise smart as "Raj" on the old TV sitcom "What's Happening!!" Splitting the leading female star duties are spectacled commander Illeana Douglas (as Alison Gray) and tightly-attired agent Amy Rider (as Moira King). Mr. Thomas is the granddaughter of golden age Hollywood actor Melvyn Douglas. Blond Brody Hutzler (as Joshua Dane) has a little fun near the end. Apparently, director Christopher Ray and the crew were given a string of Christmas tree bulbs to use for lighting. The story makes very little sense and is almost impossible to watch with any attention.

** Mega Shark vs Kolossus (2015-05-16) Christopher Ray ~ Illeana Douglas, Amy Rider, Ernest Thomas, Brody Hutzler

Mega Shark vs. Kolossus (2015)

* (out of 4)

Considering how awful this movie is, I'm not going to spend too much time with the plot since we've basically got the good ol' U.S.A. going up against Russia, which leads to our giant shark battling a large robot.

MEGA SHARK VS. KOLOSSUS is the fourth film in the "Mega Shark" series and it's certainly the worst to date. I say it every time I watch a film like this but you really can't go in expecting anything in terms of quality but instead you hope to just find some cheap entertainment. Sadly, there really wasn't anything entertaining here as the entire film was a real chore to sit through and at just 90 minutes the thing feels three times longer.

I'm really not sure who thought it was a good idea to have a screenplay full of dialogue but it really backfires because this film is simply boring from start to end. The worst thing is that we're given subplots dealing with science and politics and it's just downright awful and makes for some horrid melodrama and lame comedy. The CGI effects of the two monsters were better than you'd expect but why the two didn't battle more is anyone's guess. Either way, this is a really bad movie that should just be skipped.