Scared Topless

Jim Wynorski used to be famous for making softcore porn and fun T&A adventures back in the 80's and 90's. I dont know if he lost his talent, or just stopped caring, but this movie is awful. Its basically an edited down porno. Theres no real plot and the acting is not funny-bad like in proper softcore pornos. The women here are all regular porn stars and they dont know how to do anything except lay on a bed and fake pleasure. Its a waste of time even if you normally like this sort of thing.

If you're really bored and need entertaining, watch a regular porn movie and then go find one of Wynorskis better films from the mid-90's.

Investigating a supposedly haunted house, a team of researchers encounter the spirit of a lovelorn ghost awaiting her long-lost lover and find themselves drawn into a situation with the supernatural they were unprepared for and try to help the spirit find eternal peace.

For a softcore skin flick, this one was really enjoyable. Like most of these parody efforts, there's a really nice, solid horror effort at the center of the film, where the idea of a ghost living in a creepy, abandoned house that comes out into the open when a group of paranormal researchers conduct a class there, and there's plenty of good times here in the creepy location. There's a really nice vibe throughout the house with the old-school glamour look and feel of the house which is given a really healthy atmosphere so when the hauntings do start they feel quite logical and part of the story as the possession angle and the antics around the house that signify a haunting there all makes for a solid enough base here of being a horror film before it actively turns into the softcore film it really is. This is the main part of the story here and where this one gets quite a lot right here, bolstered by the fact that the female cast here is incredibly attractive which comes through in numerous way to benefit this one not only by providing a steady stream of gorgeous, fully nude women that comes ready-made with roles that aren't much of a benefactor in the plot and only show up to provide another nude body to writhe around with the original cast. The diversity of the cast in terms of physical appearance and body-type also works rather nicely by letting so many different styles and figures to be showcased here in frequent interactions to really let that sink in here, and because there's an absolutely insane amount of multi-participant encounters here it really allows for even greater amounts of fun here with the extra benefit of seeing more rather than just the single woman. Going with a lot of threesomes or even the three-way lesbian encounters in the shower and the huge group fondling session at the end where nearly every female cast member begins playing with each other in an extended montage which all allows this one to give each girl a chance to shine throughout the steamy sequence. These factors here give this one quite a lot to like here even through there's a few minor flaws here. The biggest issue to this one is the fact that there's some utterly clumsy methods here to keep this one still going forward with its plot, as the fact that the guys have to keep trying to force the issue here in the way they keep throwing it back to trying to investigate the ghost and the house, as this one seems more about the sexual antics here in the second half and ignoring the decent story here which is then brought up in truly lame methods. As well, a lot of this is reflected in the other flaw here in the confusing nature for the possession to occur here. The idea is introduced quite late in to the film, doesn't get much play as no one really makes anything about it and doing this doesn't accomplish anything since other forces are utilized to accomplish what it seems set-up to accomplish so it doesn't make any sense anyway. These here are the flaws here though there' still plenty to enjoy here.

Rated Unrated/X: Continuous Full Nudity, Continuous softcore Sex Scenes, Language and Violence.

Awesome movie with a good director and the actors were very helpful to attract people who were watching it to want to watch the film from beginning till end. Every scene was very watchable from beginning till end. The end of each scenes the actors would look at the camera, making you think you could act with them.

Jim Wynorski's spoof lacks the freshness of his other horror movie parodies like House on Hooter Hill or Bare Wench Project. It has the flavor of "one more picture needed for my contract, so let's fill up the time with nasty sex scenes." Music covers the sound too often. The opening scene would have been much better if it didn't change to a film the characters were watching until it was ending. In fact in 20 percent of this the characters watch a movie or TV show of someone else. Jacqui Holland always seems to look away toward the camera or a corner of the room to show off her face, it's less exciting this time and more of a distraction.

I know female nudity will always attract some level of a male audience, but I had a hard time sitting thru this excuse for boobs and I'm a bit confused why it's so well reviewed.

'Scared Topless' is a drab T&A flick by well known b-movie director Jim Wynorski. Likely filmed in a span of days. Certainly no 500k budget and a long way from this genre's prime in 2015 considering the casts now typically consist of hardcore pornstars. Busty blonde Bridgette B my case in point.

None of that would matter if it's good though. Positive reviews talk of good vibes or a decent story with atmosphere and laughs. I must have missed all that completely. This features the barest of plot, a bunch of horrible dialog, boobs and tame simulated sex scenes.

I'm in no way judging watching stuff like 'Scared Topless', but we don't have to lie to ourselves or others about it's lack of quality. If you want to see beautiful naked women you can do better. Unless all you have access to is cable TV at 3am.