Elise ✘ a.k.a Ryder's Pet ✘ > Books: contemporary‎ (1043)

“I realize you're planning on fighting all the dragons single-handedly-"
"I'm going to protect you from John, dammit. Show him that he can't fucking mess with you. This is about territory."
Tom narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to piss a circle around me too?"
"If that's what it takes.”

[image]

“I realize you're planning on fighting all the dragons single-handedly-"
"I'm going to protect you from John, dammit. Show him that he can't fucking mess with you. This is about territory."
Tom narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to piss a circle around me too?"
"If that's what it takes.”

[image]

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Contains Spoilers*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Contains Spoilers*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Contains Spoilers*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*I struggled a little bit with this one*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*I struggled a little bit with this one*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“You’re the—the gentlest person I’ve ever met,” he said. “But somehow that never comes across as weakness. I don’t know how you do that.”
“Uh . . . thanks?”
“You’re . . .” Levi swallowed. “You’re always kind and loving and thoughtful.”
“Wow, how much wine did you have with dinner?” Dominic said, grinning.
“I’m not drunk.”
“Your face is super flushed.”
“I . . .” Levi pressed a hand to his own cheek and realized Dominic was right, though it wasn’t because of the wine. “I’m just trying to—”
“Don’t get me wrong, I like you all cute and pink-cheeked. It’s pretty—”
“For God’s sake, you asshole, I’m trying to tell you I love you!”
Dominic fell silent, every hint of amusement wiped clean from his face. Levi rolled his eyes and looked away, his cheeks burning hotter.
Both of Dominic’s large hands cupped Levi’s face and turned him back. Dominic met his eyes with the most solemn expression Levi had ever seen on him.
“I love you too,” he said.
Levi drew a shaky breath. He knew that Dominic loved him—had known for a while—but hearing it said aloud made it a concrete reality.

Nancy waved a hand. “So come the day after Christmas. That’s one of the upsides of dating a Gentile—you can spend Christmas with Dominic’s family and Hanukkah with yours, no problem.”
“I—” Levi stopped short and stared at her. “You just called Dominic by his actual name.”
Nancy glanced at Saul, smiled, and reached out to pinch Levi’s chin. “I’ve always said I’d know my son’s bashert when I met him. Haven’t I, Saul?”
“She has,” he agreed.
Soul mate. Levi swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat.
“Okay,” he said quietly. “I’ll talk to Dominic about it.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*I struggled a little bit with this one*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“You’re the—the gentlest person I’ve ever met,” he said. “But somehow that never comes across as weakness. I don’t know how you do that.”
“Uh . . . thanks?”
“You’re . . .” Levi swallowed. “You’re always kind and loving and thoughtful.”
“Wow, how much wine did you have with dinner?” Dominic said, grinning.
“I’m not drunk.”
“Your face is super flushed.”
“I . . .” Levi pressed a hand to his own cheek and realized Dominic was right, though it wasn’t because of the wine. “I’m just trying to—”
“Don’t get me wrong, I like you all cute and pink-cheeked. It’s pretty—”
“For God’s sake, you asshole, I’m trying to tell you I love you!”
Dominic fell silent, every hint of amusement wiped clean from his face. Levi rolled his eyes and looked away, his cheeks burning hotter.
Both of Dominic’s large hands cupped Levi’s face and turned him back. Dominic met his eyes with the most solemn expression Levi had ever seen on him.
“I love you too,” he said.
Levi drew a shaky breath. He knew that Dominic loved him—had known for a while—but hearing it said aloud made it a concrete reality.

Nancy waved a hand. “So come the day after Christmas. That’s one of the upsides of dating a Gentile—you can spend Christmas with Dominic’s family and Hanukkah with yours, no problem.”
“I—” Levi stopped short and stared at her. “You just called Dominic by his actual name.”
Nancy glanced at Saul, smiled, and reached out to pinch Levi’s chin. “I’ve always said I’d know my son’s bashert when I met him. Haven’t I, Saul?”
“She has,” he agreed.
Soul mate. Levi swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat.
“Okay,” he said quietly. “I’ll talk to Dominic about it.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Not bad, but not good either*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Not bad, but not good either*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

Defaulting into planning mode was what Cole did best. The need to fill the gap, to ease the look on his friend’s face, was disturbing. After their parents died, Brad had been left to care for Danny. And he’d nearly killed himself trying.
Cole’s job was to look after Brad.

Cole took in the angular lines of Brad’s face. He’d missed his company. For the four years they’d been roommates, they’d practically been attached at the hip. His hell-on-wheels friend could talk him into anything. Cole got into, and out of, more trouble with Brad than during the previous twenty-one years of his life.

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Not bad, but not good either*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

Defaulting into planning mode was what Cole did best. The need to fill the gap, to ease the look on his friend’s face, was disturbing. After their parents died, Brad had been left to care for Danny. And he’d nearly killed himself trying.
Cole’s job was to look after Brad.

Cole took in the angular lines of Brad’s face. He’d missed his company. For the four years they’d been roommates, they’d practically been attached at the hip. His hell-on-wheels friend could talk him into anything. Cole got into, and out of, more trouble with Brad than during the previous twenty-one years of his life.

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*I was bored*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*I was bored*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

As if life had gone for a ceasefire on the constant lemon bombardment, and chucked him something he actually wanted for a change.

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*I was bored*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

As if life had gone for a ceasefire on the constant lemon bombardment, and chucked him something he actually wanted for a change.

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Not for me*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Not for me*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“I love you, you know. I'm sorry I took so long to see it... too long to understand what it was you meant to me... but I'm glad you're here. With me. In this bed. And I want to fall asleep, but if I do, I won't see you again until I wake up, and that's too fucking long to wait.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Not for me*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“I love you, you know. I'm sorry I took so long to see it... too long to understand what it was you meant to me... but I'm glad you're here. With me. In this bed. And I want to fall asleep, but if I do, I won't see you again until I wake up, and that's too fucking long to wait.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*A little disappointed*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*A little disappointed*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“I don’t give a shit how anyone else treats me….you’re the only one who makes it hurt so much.”

“We can do this, right?”
Levi propped his head on Dominic’s shoulder to look at his face. “It won’t be easy.”
“I don’t want easy.” His lips quirking, Dominic traced his thumb along Levi’s jaw. “I want you.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*A little disappointed*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“I don’t give a shit how anyone else treats me….you’re the only one who makes it hurt so much.”

“We can do this, right?”
Levi propped his head on Dominic’s shoulder to look at his face. “It won’t be easy.”
“I don’t want easy.” His lips quirking, Dominic traced his thumb along Levi’s jaw. “I want you.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*A letdown*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*A letdown*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

Despite my bitterness about the subject, deep down inside, I think I was waiting on the fantasy, still hoping for the impossible. And I wasn’t willing to compromise. I sighed inwardly. I was as delusional and optimistic as any Disney princess. It was going to look fantastic on my eHarmony profile. I’d use Snow White as my fucking avatar. She found seven men. Surely I could scrounge up one.

“No one treats my brother like that.”
“You’re right,” I said. “But people only treat you how you allow them to. One of my favorite quotes growing up was from Eleanor Roosevelt. Remember? I had it on my door. Mom had it made into a poster. I guess now I know why. She understood what I was up against before I ever did.”
“You kept that thing up there until the decal peeled and the letters went white.” Kennedy shook her head and recited, “‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*A letdown*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

Despite my bitterness about the subject, deep down inside, I think I was waiting on the fantasy, still hoping for the impossible. And I wasn’t willing to compromise. I sighed inwardly. I was as delusional and optimistic as any Disney princess. It was going to look fantastic on my eHarmony profile. I’d use Snow White as my fucking avatar. She found seven men. Surely I could scrounge up one.

“No one treats my brother like that.”
“You’re right,” I said. “But people only treat you how you allow them to. One of my favorite quotes growing up was from Eleanor Roosevelt. Remember? I had it on my door. Mom had it made into a poster. I guess now I know why. She understood what I was up against before I ever did.”
“You kept that thing up there until the decal peeled and the letters went white.” Kennedy shook her head and recited, “‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Can't feel the connection*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Can't feel the connection*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

[image]
Will pulled him forward, wrestling him into a kind of bear hug where they could hang on tight and neither had to see the other's expression. Taylor rested his face in the bare, warm curve of Will's uninjured shoulder and listened to the shuddery sounds of Will fighting his feelings. He could hear the slow, heavy pound of Will's heart, and though he was not much for poetry, he suddenly remembered lines from some forgotten time and place—all his times and places having led, it seemed, to this moment.
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats, Wakeful they lie.

[image]
“We're sticking together.”
“Would you listen to me?”
“Would you listen to me? I'm not leaving you out here.”
What a really bad time to get choked up, but Will was glaring at him, mouth thinned to a white line and eyes so bright they were glittering. Bad timing for both of them.
“Will…”
“I'm. Not. Leaving. You. Got that?”
Taylor took a deep breath. “It's okay. I know you'll come back.”
To his surprise, Will's hand closed on his shoulder and pulled him forward into a fleeting but adamant press of mouths.
“You're right. I will. Always.” He released Taylor and turned away. “Let's go. It can get dark fast in the mountains.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Might contain spoilers?*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats, Wakeful they lie.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Can't feel the connection*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

[image]
Will pulled him forward, wrestling him into a kind of bear hug where they could hang on tight and neither had to see the other's expression. Taylor rested his face in the bare, warm curve of Will's uninjured shoulder and listened to the shuddery sounds of Will fighting his feelings. He could hear the slow, heavy pound of Will's heart, and though he was not much for poetry, he suddenly remembered lines from some forgotten time and place—all his times and places having led, it seemed, to this moment.
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats, Wakeful they lie.

[image]
“We're sticking together.”
“Would you listen to me?”
“Would you listen to me? I'm not leaving you out here.”
What a really bad time to get choked up, but Will was glaring at him, mouth thinned to a white line and eyes so bright they were glittering. Bad timing for both of them.
“Will…”
“I'm. Not. Leaving. You. Got that?”
Taylor took a deep breath. “It's okay. I know you'll come back.”
To his surprise, Will's hand closed on his shoulder and pulled him forward into a fleeting but adamant press of mouths.
“You're right. I will. Always.” He released Taylor and turned away. “Let's go. It can get dark fast in the mountains.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Might contain spoilers?*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats, Wakeful they lie.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Better, but not much*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Better, but not much*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

When the whole world was on fire, we leaned on each other and got each other through it. When everything was boring and nothing was happening, we stayed close just because we wanted to. It was perfect.
The future was anyone’s guess. We were cops—anything could happen to either of us. That was the reality of our job.
[image]

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Better, but not much*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

When the whole world was on fire, we leaned on each other and got each other through it. When everything was boring and nothing was happening, we stayed close just because we wanted to. It was perfect.
The future was anyone’s guess. We were cops—anything could happen to either of us. That was the reality of our job.
[image]

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Wanted more*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Wanted more*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“Jake. It’s always been about Jake.”
“Well that doesn’t sound very healthy.”
“No! I mean, it’s my fault. But I push. I push when I . . . when I feel like I’m losing him. Because I . . .”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Wanted more*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“Jake. It’s always been about Jake.”
“Well that doesn’t sound very healthy.”
“No! I mean, it’s my fault. But I push. I push when I . . . when I feel like I’m losing him. Because I . . .”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Had expected more*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Had expected more*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

Sweet came a second later, somehow still managing to half hold Bram up against him.
God, how long had it been? Months and months of his own hand, he realized as he tried to get his breathing under control. Because prospects in the Heathens fucked women—no bisexuals or gays allowed. So he’d turned himself into a goddamned monk—hence the nickname—and pretended he’d been wounded in battle so he didn’t have to fuck indiscriminately.
Although he loved women, he mostly missed the goddamned weight, the pressure and brute strength of a man on him. Sweet had given him everything he’d asked for.

“How?” he managed.
Sweet glanced up at him. “I have my ways. Pays to be in charge.”
“I thought—”
“I know. And you would’ve done it anyway,” Sweet told him. It wasn’t an accusation, merely a calm statement of fact Bram agreed with wholeheartedly. He’d surrendered to Sweet’s wants, his needs . . . he’d shown the other MC members that Sweet was not only in charge of the club, but in charge of his man. And in this culture, that was possibly the most important sign of an effective leader.
He’d trusted Sweet, and Sweet hadn’t let him down.

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Had expected more*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

Sweet came a second later, somehow still managing to half hold Bram up against him.
God, how long had it been? Months and months of his own hand, he realized as he tried to get his breathing under control. Because prospects in the Heathens fucked women—no bisexuals or gays allowed. So he’d turned himself into a goddamned monk—hence the nickname—and pretended he’d been wounded in battle so he didn’t have to fuck indiscriminately.
Although he loved women, he mostly missed the goddamned weight, the pressure and brute strength of a man on him. Sweet had given him everything he’d asked for.

“How?” he managed.
Sweet glanced up at him. “I have my ways. Pays to be in charge.”
“I thought—”
“I know. And you would’ve done it anyway,” Sweet told him. It wasn’t an accusation, merely a calm statement of fact Bram agreed with wholeheartedly. He’d surrendered to Sweet’s wants, his needs . . . he’d shown the other MC members that Sweet was not only in charge of the club, but in charge of his man. And in this culture, that was possibly the most important sign of an effective leader.
He’d trusted Sweet, and Sweet hadn’t let him down.

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Learn to live again*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Learn to live again*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

Maybe that was the connection then. You grieve with every fiber of your being when the thing you love most is ripped out of your life.

“You become a cop and they teach you about protecting people and keeping them safe. But they don’t tell you how it rips your heart out when you realize you can’t do it. You can’t save everybody.”

Words just confused things -- when they held each other like this, it made so much more sense.

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Learn to live again*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

Maybe that was the connection then. You grieve with every fiber of your being when the thing you love most is ripped out of your life.

“You become a cop and they teach you about protecting people and keeping them safe. But they don’t tell you how it rips your heart out when you realize you can’t do it. You can’t save everybody.”

Words just confused things -- when they held each other like this, it made so much more sense.

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Still Not For Me*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Still Not For Me*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Still Not For Me*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*I'm depressed*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

[image]
“That's what got me thinking about all this. That day we went to Macy's and I was getting my card out and you paid with yours. I thought, he's got a credit card that I pay for with his name on it. And I know it's just for work, but still, it's like we're attached somehow.” He sighed and stared into my eyes. “I thought, this is how I want it to be. I don't just want to run your life at work, I want a say in it all the time. And even as a friend, I don't have enough power... so I started to think and this is what I came up with. You're going to be my brother.”

[image]
“It's gonna be done this time, you know? I can't keep running after you.”
“Sure,” I said as my eyes filled. “I know.”
“Do you even care?”
I cared more than I could even express. I had never, ever been crazier about anyone else. Sam Kage was the man of my dreams; it was too bad that being with him always became a nightmare.

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Contains spoilers*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“You put me through it when you left, and I've been so...pissed... at you and then that night I saw you out and you look like you're okay you're fine without me, and—and I just wanted to take you home and... then the other night. What if you were hurt or killed or... what the fuck am I supposed to do? And that asshole tonight, he thinks he's got a shot with you... everybody thinks they've got a shot because I'm not around and... it's not gonna fuckin' happen! I will not allow it to happen. I want you with me all the time—can't have anyone else touching you or... you belong to me. You get that, right? You're mine. I think I'm gonna mark you—put my name on you so everybody knows that you're—”

“Everybody wants to touch you all the time. I'm the only one who can't when I want to be the only one that can.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*I'm depressed*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

[image]
“That's what got me thinking about all this. That day we went to Macy's and I was getting my card out and you paid with yours. I thought, he's got a credit card that I pay for with his name on it. And I know it's just for work, but still, it's like we're attached somehow.” He sighed and stared into my eyes. “I thought, this is how I want it to be. I don't just want to run your life at work, I want a say in it all the time. And even as a friend, I don't have enough power... so I started to think and this is what I came up with. You're going to be my brother.”

[image]
“It's gonna be done this time, you know? I can't keep running after you.”
“Sure,” I said as my eyes filled. “I know.”
“Do you even care?”
I cared more than I could even express. I had never, ever been crazier about anyone else. Sam Kage was the man of my dreams; it was too bad that being with him always became a nightmare.

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Contains spoilers*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“You put me through it when you left, and I've been so...pissed... at you and then that night I saw you out and you look like you're okay you're fine without me, and—and I just wanted to take you home and... then the other night. What if you were hurt or killed or... what the fuck am I supposed to do? And that asshole tonight, he thinks he's got a shot with you... everybody thinks they've got a shot because I'm not around and... it's not gonna fuckin' happen! I will not allow it to happen. I want you with me all the time—can't have anyone else touching you or... you belong to me. You get that, right? You're mine. I think I'm gonna mark you—put my name on you so everybody knows that you're—”

“Everybody wants to touch you all the time. I'm the only one who can't when I want to be the only one that can.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Expected more*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Expected more*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“Damn,” he said, his voice muffled. “I thought you’d come here to end it. I’ve never been so afraid.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Expected more*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“Damn,” he said, his voice muffled. “I thought you’d come here to end it. I’ve never been so afraid.”

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Matt deserves better*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Matt deserves better*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“I used to be an angry, lonely prick. Then I met a guy with four amazing kids and more issues than the Sports Illustrated back catalog and boom—happiness.”
“Boom, happiness?”
“Okay, boom. Boom. More booms. A mushroom cloud. Then happiness.”

“Do me a favor, elope when you’re forty.” Evan sighed as he walked over to where Katie was standing.
“Deal.”
[image]

⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱*Matt deserves better*⋰⋱⋰⋱⋰⋱

“I used to be an angry, lonely prick. Then I met a guy with four amazing kids and more issues than the Sports Illustrated back catalog and boom—happiness.”
“Boom, happiness?”
“Okay, boom. Boom. More booms. A mushroom cloud. Then happiness.”

“Do me a favor, elope when you’re forty.” Evan sighed as he walked over to where Katie was standing.
“Deal.”
[image]