Stand Up Quotes

“I don't smoke pot, and I'm glad because then I can champion it without special pleading. The reason I don't smoke it is because it facilitates ideas and heightens sensations-and I've got enough shit flying through my head without smoking pot.”
― Lenny Bruce, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People

“You can wallow in miserable self-pity all the days of your life and do nothing but drown in your own tears. Or you can stand up and reach out to draw others from their wallowing, effectively saving lives. Life is no punishment; you weren’t put here just for you.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich, Being Bold: Quotes, Poetry, & Motivations for Every Day of the Year

“Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will some day become Congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

You wouldn't believe how many people smoke pot. If anyone reading this would like to become mayor, believe me, there is a vast, untapped vote. Of course, you wouldn't want to be the Marijuana Mayor, so you'd have to make it a trick statute, like: 'The Crippled Catholic Jewish War Children in Memory of Ward Bond Who Died for Your Bill to Make Marijuana Legal.”
― Lenny Bruce, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People

“The first step of building a good future is to recognize the reality of the present and then work through that reality.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Good Scientist: When Science and Service Combine

“[Excerpt from Kenneth Brown testimony] Great comics throughout literature have always disguised by comedy, through laughter, through jokes, an underlying theme which is very serious, and perhaps needs laughter because it is also painful...”
― Lenny Bruce, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People

“Bow Your Heads If You Are Over It!
Stand To Your Feet As A Solder By, In, And Through Christ And Fight The Good Fight No Matter The Cost! When You Are Over It Then You Truly Can Be An Apostle Of Christ!”
― John M. Sheehan, What Lies Beneath Us

“Everybody's so busy wanting to be down with the gang. "I'm conservative", "I'm liberal", "I'm conservative". Bullshit! Be a fucking person! Lis-ten! Let it swirl around your head. Then form your opinion. No normal, decent person is one thing, okay? I've got some shit I'm conservative about, I've got some shit I'm liberal about. Crime, I'm conservative. Prostitution, I'm liberal!”
― Chris Rock

“The one thing I'll be: Me - whatever that might mean; and even if nothing, in that I'll still be king.”
― Criss Jami

“It's not the volume of your voice that matters, it's the content.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Mucize Insan: When The World is Family

“Like you said, I am your strongest creation, which means I was built to never stop," Ever growls as his fists brighten.”
― Kaylee Stepkoski, Ever: The Return

“Be bold! Step out of your comfort zone, burn down the stereotypes, the labels, the
categories, and build a community.”
― Kaylee Stepkoski

“Where there is love, there is action. And lack of action is actually lack of love.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Sleepless for Society

“Indifference is acceptable from a vegetable, not from a human being.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Martyr Meets World: To Solve The Hard Problem of Inhumanity

“Now, if anyone in this room or the world finds those two words decadent, obscene, immoral, amoral, asexual, the words 'to come' really make you feel uncomfortable, if you think I'm rank for saying it to you, you the beholder think it's rank for listening to it, you probably can't come. And then you're of no use, because that's the purpose of life, to re-create it.”
― Lenny Bruce, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People

“Forget the argumentation of logic over what is possible and what is not - action in the course of humaneness should be our prime directive, not argumentation.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Sleepless for Society

“Let actions talk not words.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Sleepless for Society

“Indifference is convenience but equality is necessity, and sometimes we have to give up our convenience to make way for the necessity.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Neden Türk: The Gospel of Secularism

“Christians stand for Christ, representing His good and acceptable will but by the practice of sin you make a mockery of all that is true”
― John M Sheehan, Purgatory; A place of pruning Book 1: Shaylee Escapes Hell

“Stand up for one another, instead of worrying about what you can't control.”
― Santosh Kumar (San)

“Now, if the bedroom is dirty to you, then you are a true atheist, because if you have any of the mores, superstitions, if anyone in this audience believes that God made his body, and you body is dirty, the fault lies with the manufacturer. It's that cold, Jim, yeah.”
― Lenny Bruce, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People

“I guess what happens is, if you get arrested in Town A (Philadelphia) and then Town B (San Francisco)-with a lot of publicity-then when you get to Town C they have to arrest you or what kind of shithouse town are they running?

It's a pattern of unintentional harassment.”
― Lenny Bruce, How to Talk Dirty and Influence People

“Often with comedy we look for the joke in our pain not the solution”
― Bobby Temps

“Don't fight for what you don't have, fight for what you have.”
― Douw Prinsloo, Route365

“When you find someone committing harm, restrain them, but don't do harm in return. Animals behave the way they do, because they can't help themselves, but humans must be better than that.”
― Abhijit Naskar, When Veins Ignite: Either Integration or Degradation

“Always trust your instincts girls. I’m telling you two right now, if a man makes your skin crawl, run away as fast as you can …”

"SCHOOLED IN SILENCE”
― D. J. Howard

“Destiny is the child of action.”
― Abhijit Naskar, When Veins Ignite: Either Integration or Degradation

“Where there is accountability, there is action, where there is indifference, there is prayer.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Solo Standing on Guard: Life Before Law

“You'll learn more about life from the stand-up of a responsible comedian than from the literature of an egotistical intellectual.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Solo Standing on Guard: Life Before Law

“The Temper Sonnet

Where you need to be calm,
You burst out in rage.
Where you need to be on fire,
You walk in silence and not engage.
Where you need to listen,
You scream like a loudspeaker.
Where you need to speak out,
Somehow your words disappear.
Where it requires to be humble,
Pride takes over your humility.
Where your blood needs to boil,
Your veins seem to run empty.
The right use of temper is an act of revolution.
Put it to good use and you'll nourish civilization.”
― Abhijit Naskar, Solo Standing on Guard: Life Before Law

“Jokes create the air in our lungs. And as long as humans deal with humans, there will forever be something laughable to point out in the room.”
― Karl Kristian Flores, The Goodbye Song