“Nothing weighs more than someone else’s belief in you.”

I retired 22 days ago. Still feels weird to say that. I don’t consider myself technically old enough to be retired. I definitely don’t consider myself “old”, and yet here we are. I am retired. In the months leading up to my last day, it felt I was constantly being asked, “What are you going to do?” How does one justify their existence when the children are done being raised, but you are not being productive in the way the world understands ie a paycheck or something tangible to show you’ve DONE something with your time? I knew I would be busy. I knew I had plans. But even those sounded the tiniest bit lame when I said them out loud, even moreso when I said them out loud to successful businesswomen. Was I doing the right thing, walking away from something I’m good at, leaving behind a ten-year career even if it wasn’t a C-Suite type of career (I left that life behind a very long time ago, when baby 3 arrived in under 4 years)?

What plans do I have to fill my days? First, I plan to slow down. For over 25 years, life has been lived at a pace set by others….career, spouse, home, children and all their various schooling and activities, pets, family responsibilities, volunteer responsibilities I’d signed up for. Mornings were a five-alarm fire drill from the moment the phone starting beeping its wakeup call until the children were dropped off, but only to rush me into getting all the things done in the few hours I had while they were at school, followed by the next fire drill of getting them to and from extracurriculars, feeding, herding through homework and bedtime, taking just enough of a breath to get ready for the next day. I still have an alarm set for weekday mornings, but it’s set back over an hour from those busy school days, and half an hour from the past four years, post having children in compulsory school. I don’t jump right out of bed….I allow myself to slowly wake up, clearing texts and emails that come in over night, checking my sleep app, and the weather for the day before rolling out of bed to brush teeth, put on the exercise clothes, start the coffee, and get the dogs their treats and breakfasts before feeding myself. I take time to journal a few lines in my planner most days, play my New York Times games (Wordle, Strands, Connections and the Mini, in that order), and grab my current non-fiction reading selection for 10-15 minutes. I’ve spent the first few weeks of the new year organizing/reorganizing, getting the donation truck here, putting away holidays, celebrating my retirement over a long weekend visit from my bestie. Now I am just settling in to the plans I had set for myself.

I went to our club yesterday to sign up for golf lessons. Spouse is an avid golfer, and I want to at the very least not embarrass him on the course, and keep up the pace of the game. I’ve had clubs and gone out a few times a year for maybe ten years? But I’ve never had a lesson, sooooooooo…..lessons it is! Just waiting to hear back from the club pro to schedule the first lesson.

I have been journaling more in general. It feels good, centering, cathartic, healthy. The house is less cluttered, more clean, than it’s been in years. I have the time every day to wash those few dishes, actually put the laundry away that no longer languishes in the dryer for days at a time (if it even makes it that far). The new puppy is taken outside frequently in a solid effort to get her potty trained. She’s a teacup Yorkie, so you know that is a huge challenge. Yorkies aren’t known for being easily potty trained. Challenge accepted.

The other thing I am doing….I knew I had to put it out there, verbally and in writing, to hold myself accountable. I am writing a book. I am trying to write a book. I am working on writing a book. I feel like an imposter of the highest order, just saying it out loud. I don’t know it will ever be published, but I promised myself when I was young and writing in my very first journal that someday, I would put my words out into the world. My biggest dream was to be an author, a real one. My daughter has known this wish of mine for years. She knows I had pushed off my dreams for career and motherhood. She knows now is the time. She knows what I’m writing about, and she believes in me. I do feel that as a weight, but not in a bad way. It pushes me…..I want her to see her mom live a lifelong dream, whether or not my words ever see a shelf in a bookstore. I have to try. I have to overcome my own fear and insecurity and at least try. Each day I don’t write, I feel the weight of ignoring my dreams and wishes, of shoving hopes down. It’s not just the weight of her belief in me though, it’s that of friends and family I’ve told of this thing I want to do, to be. They believe in me, in my ability.

I don’t know my thoughts and words will ever be published, out there for the world to see, judge, buy. But I have to try. I have to do this for me, for those who believe in me. That’s what pushes me to my computer, not every day, but right now, at least one day a week, to put those words down and craft them into something like a book that hopefully someday people will hold in their hands.

PS….the quote titling this post is out of my favorite book of 2025 (heck, it’s in my top ten of all time), My Friends by Fredrik Backman.

Why would anyone care?

I started blogging in the fall of 2005. The Herd were very little and we were in the thick of all things young children. At the time, I was very involved in an online community for NICU parents. Blogging was a forum in the community. It gave me an outlet, a sounding board, a way to process all we’d been through in creating our little family, as well as gave me resources for all that would come throughout their growing up. I moved my blog here in 2009. It still remained mostly a “Mommy Blog”. By then we were dealing with various diagnosis, along with the usual growing up stuff. As they moved into teenage years, I struggled with writing so I could process, and giving them their privacy.

They’re all three grown now. While the parenting never ends, their stories are their stories, not mine. The writing has evolved. In the last few years, I’ve gone rounds with myself over continuing on with writing. Really, are blogs still relevant? I won’t do Vlogs or TikTok’s or any of that. I’m fine with a keyboard. I’m horrible trying to actually talk, much less talk on camera. I’ve gone through entire seasons without writing anything at all besides emails. I wonder if I should even bother anymore

There is a lot going on in our world…most of which I have feelings and opinions on, especially lately. But why would anyone care to read what I might have to say? I write from a place of privilege. I am an upper-middle class, middle-aged, suburban, white female. Why would my words have any impact? Why would anyone find merit in anything I have to add to the conversation?

This is where I’ve been sitting the last year or two. And then when the discussion began on the government starting a national autism registry, I shut it down. My writing has been used against us before. I won’t let it happen again. I will protect my child at all costs. However, I refuse to stay quiet about all the horrible things that are happening in our country now. When this is over, when we are on the other side, I want to know that I stood, loudly and proudly, on the side of human compassion. I need to know that I stood for something, stood up for those who don’t live in my world of privilege.

I guess my point is this…..I suppose I will keep writing. It’s no longer a mommy blog. You may not hear much about my adult children, unless they give me permission to share something. You may get quite a bit more political and social stuff than you’d like or that you’re used to seeing from me. There may be more bookish content. There may be more middle-age, sandwich generation talk. But I’m here, whether anyone reads or not. We’ll see how it goes.

The Words

“Have you been writing lately?” a friend asked me yesterday (she’s something of a coach and accountability person in my life, as well as good friend) and I cringed a bit. Ummmmm….I did write one post the other day. It’s been a rough few weeks, not gonna lie. Some days, the words feel like too much. Other days, they don’t feel like enough. There are hours, I have so many words flowing through my brain, I can’t keep up with my own thoughts much less get them written down anywhere. Other days, my mind requires quiet. I can’t take in any words, much less process my own.

I started blogging in 2005 – kind of toward the beginning of blogs being a thing. I have, however, journaled since I was in high school and a beloved Junior Honors English teacher required it of us. I found it to be an outlet very suitable for my shy personality. I couldn’t say the words for my experiences, my emotions, but I could write them. That has carried on through relationships, marriage, motherhood, career, life seasons. I used it as a way to process and deal with first our fertility issues, then our rude introduction to parenting. I kept pregnancy and baby journals for each of our three. I was able to develop a community that lended so much support throughout those intense motherhood/mothering years, through life changes, through struggles. I look around now and wonder if blogging is still a thing, or if it wasn’t for a bit, but is making a comeback? I know for now, when I have the words, it is my place to come. I’m not quite ready apparently to put it all into the memoir/book that has been floating around my mind for years, but I still have the need to get it down.

The past three weeks since the election – I have so many words, and yet I have no words. I have returned to the place where too many words is just too much. I’ve turned off my news notifications. I’ve minimized my interactions with/on social media. I have been listening mostly to classical music or romance novels. My reading has shifted from literary fiction and the more difficult books to pure fantasy and lighthearted romance with happy ever afters. I feel tender, and so many words strung together feel abrasive. I have been here before. In times of grief – and yes, I consider this a time of grief (more on that when words aren’t such a struggle) – a gentler path is necessary for awhile. I walk out into the world with a kind of cloud around me, a huddling into myself. Extensive conversations are only held with those in my very close, highly trusted circles. When my work day is done, my mind and body crave quiet and calm. We’ve just been watching sports and favorite shows rather than anything intense or newsy. I may or may not be able to go back to our normal viewing habits (we’ve been something of news junkies for years). Again, too many loud, abrasive, unsettling words that come at you too quickly.

I haven’t been writing much lately. I would like to be writing more. The writing/blogging community is something special, spectacular, supportive, affirming. I will have the words again, or will at least be able to sort through the many words when they come.

A Reintroduction

Dusting off the keyboard…..It has been a hot minute since the last Three’s a Herd post. Life got a little chaotic and was taking me in a different direction. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to ever come back to this sweet corner of the internet. Is blogging still even a thing? Is what I have to say relevant? Does it matter? But after much prodding from a life coach, I’ve decided to re-enter my blog era, to just write and see what happens. Since it has been quite some time, I thought a reintroduction would be appropriate before diving back into things fully. Sooooooo……here’s me, us.

Why “Three’s a Herd?” Well, we have three children. When I had the third, Spouse said we no longer had kids, we had a herd. It stuck. Who are those three? Big Man is the oldest. He is our micro-preemie, born at 26 weeks due to a placenta abruption. He was our introduction to parenthood – a rather abrupt and rude introduction to parenthood. After ninety-three days in the NICU, we brought him home. Did I mention we’d gone through 18 months of fertility treatments and one miscarriage before getting pregnant with him? Diagnosed with endometriosis AND PCOS, my fertility doctor told me I had a less than 10% chance of ever getting pregnant without medical assistance/intervention. Hold that thought…..The week after Big Man came home from the NICU, I was wiped out, exhausted, still pumping every three – four hours, stressed out, and underweight. But literally ONE time, and I got pregnant with our Princess. We had to evict her at 41 weeks and 1 day. Thirty-six hours after her birth, they sent us home. I was almost more terrified to bring her home than I had been Big Man – there was no five page list of things we had to prove we knew how to do, no carseat test to make sure she’d keep breathing while in said carseat…..nothing. Just here’s your baby, off you go! One boy, one girl…..the perfect family, yes? Except I wasn’t done. I’d known for the longest time I wanted three kids. So back to the well we went. Z was born when Big Man was 3.5 years old, and the Princess 2.5 years old. Three kids under four years old….Yes, it was a lot. We had our Herd, and it was complete.

A Preemie, a Princess, and a Work on Progress reads the tag line. Why a Work in Progress? It was apparent by the time Z was in Kindergarten he was beginning to fall behind his peers emotionally and socially. To put it lightly, I was micromanaging every minute of every day trying to keep him from melting down, having tantrums, or just utterly causing chaos to all those around him. He was incredibly smart, and had an insane vocabulary, but the only emotion he seemed to have was anger. Finally, halfway through second grade, he was diagnosed with ADHD, and on the spectrum. We definitely covered all the bases…..Big Man had had follow-up care and therapies for three years following his birth, due to his micro-preemie status. The Princess was full-term, healthy, and, outside of skin allergies, totally easy. And now we had all the therapies, medications, and the world of IEP’s/Special Ed.

That’s how the Herd came to be. I originally started blogging in 2005 when I was part of an online community for NICU parents, and we still were dealing with the fallout of Big Man’s premature birth. It was an outlet for me, a way to process. As Z was diagnosed and we were navigating that world, it became a lifeline. It helped me, but I also liked to think it helped others to read our story, all the things we were facing and working through, and maybe give them a little hope.

Where are we now? Well, the Herd is grown. Big Man is playing a long game for his undergrad studies, which is completely fine. They don’t put how many years it took you to earn your degree on that certificate. He’s working full-time, and continuing to take classes every semester. He’s on the right path, after diverging for a bit. He has great friends and the loveliest, sweetest girlfriend. He lives six hours away. IMO, I don’t see him often enough, and I miss his incredible hugs. The Princess just graduated college, and is heading to law school next month. We had the privilege of watching her return to dance continue as she made the dance company at her college. She had her last performances this past January, and yes, there were lots of tears. We are excited to watch her journey continue. She has the sweetest boyfriend. Z….his path is never going to look like anyone else’s. He graduated high school two years ago, and takes classes at the local community college. He will earn his Associate Degree in December. He has the sweetest boyfriend. d

Me? Part of my time is taken up as an admin for a non-profit, for 17 more months anyways. Then I will “retire” to do all the travel and things I’ve been putting off for 24 years while I focused on husband, children, household, job. I am also on the board for our local March of Dimes market. I am involved in four book clubs, read avidly, still run but mostly walk these days. Spouse’s business has really taken off in the last few years, and we travel to one or more offices throughout the year. I’m figuring out what and who I’m going to be in the next season of life, which is coming quickly. I’m learning who I am beyond just “mom” or “wife” or “admin”. I will be re-adding “writer” to my list of titles, and plan to be here two or three times a week going forward.

So, that’s the Herd behind Three’s a Herd. If you’re new here, let me know how you found us, what interests you, what your corner of the internet looks like. Here, you’ll hear about motherhood, transitioning to a new season of life, life on autism and ADHD street, having daughters, parenting baby adults, books, and just living. Welcome, and Cheers!

What We Are

When I started running 18 years ago, it took me forever to call myself a “runner” or an “athlete”…I ran for exercise, and I didn’t run that far. I didn’t have to get new shoes every three months, I didn’t do races (yet), I didn’t invest in running nutrition, socks, tracking apps, hydration bottles. I just ran a few miles a few times a week. I remember though, about a year in, having a conversation with my brother who really is a runner/athlete, and he told me I ran, therefore I was a runner, and since I was a runner, I was also an athlete. Huh. I’ve done activities in my life – I swam from age seven through my sophomore year of high school. I did gymnastics from age 10-15. I cheered. For whatever reason, I never considered myself an athlete. Because I was more of a nerd who preferred books to anything else, and, for goodness sake, I played the clarinet in the orchestra for seven years! How could I be considered an athlete? I’ve long since gotten past this particular hangup. I run, therefore I am a runner, and because I am a runner, I am an athlete. Period.

I joined a community a year-ish ago, in preparation for the next professional season of my life. It’s a co-work-space community, of which I am in the online-only community. Because I write this here precious blog, I was put in with the writers. Uhhh…..are you a writer if you’ve only ever written papers for school, and a blog that centers mostly on my life as a mom? The title, “Writer” made me feel a little – okay, a LOT – like an imposter. My brain kept pushing back against being called a writer, and I was hard-pressed to keep the words from leaving my mouth that while I write, I am not a “real” writer. I look at this blog as more of a journal, a recording of our life as a family. But then my dear daughter, as well as a dear friend both told me the same thing – because I write, I am a writer. Whoa.

I think many of us are hesitant to allow certain titles be applied to us. That imposter syndrome is real, y’all. I know for me, because I’ve never been “published,” haven’t yet written a book, I struggle with being considered a writer. This isn’t the only area of my life I struggle with a title. Why do we do this to ourselves?

What do you do that deserves the title, but you struggle with accepting that title?

Hope you all have the best weekend available to you. Me? This athletic writer is going to watch her daughter dance, for she is a dancer, and I’m going to enjoy some lovely road-trip time with Spouse.

Alignment

As Spouse and I head into the full-on empty nest phase of our life/marriage, I find myself really taking a beat to consider how I want life to look, not just for us, but for me specifically. I have spent the last 30 years working and doing for other people, raising babies, being everything to everyone else, and putting my dreams for myself mostly aside. I don’t regret any of it for one minute, truly. It wasn’t as horrible as that sentence may make it sound. I love being a mom. I love I was able to stay home for much of my children’s growing up. I appreciate the many amazing people my various jobs/careers have brought into my life, as well as the many wonderful parents of my children’s friends/classmates/teammates we’ve become friends with. I love my current job of going-on-seven years. I’ve learned so much, and believe in the mission and purpose of the organization, along with being able to work for and with people I truly enjoy.

I have mentally put an expiration date on my career and certain volunteer positions. It is time to re-focus. With that in mind, I’ve begun to put those things into play which will set up my next adventure. I’ve written down the new goals I have for myself, and made intentional plans and steps towards those goals. With the children essentially launched into the world, it’s time to pursue the things I put aside.

I joined a writers’ group in the virtual co-work office I recently became a member. In just the two meetings I’ve attended, I’ve learned so much. I plan to keep learning, and being intentional about writing. That may lead to a book; that may just lead to better and more consistent writing. I’ve been encouraged to begin submitting articles and pieces, which is terrifying. In blogging, I can sit here and just write what I want, my own stream of consciousness/processing of what’s going on in our lives. I do keep lists of post ideas, which typically come to me while running, sleeping, or driving. I’m excited about the opportunity to spend time with other writers of all types, learn their approaches, get their feedback, engage in the writing community.

I created a second Instagram profile for my reading life. On it, I share what I’m reading/just finished reading, with little reviews. I read a LOT, and frequently am asked for recommendations or what I’m reading. This was the easiest way to put it all in one spot. I hope to make it more of a thing. I am trying to be very intentional about that as well, attending author chats, virtual and in-real-life book clubs (although, to be honest, the book clubs have been a part of my life for a dozen years or more), and taking short online classes regarding bookish pursuits. I am engaging with more readers about the books their reading, and following/engaging with other bookish social media accounts.

What I’m working at is I’m lining things up for the next phase instead of getting there and wondering what’s next. I’m putting things in place to prepare myself for the next part of my life. I’ve not been this intentional since I headed off to college. Maybe having two in college, putting their own ducks in a row, is making me mindful and purposeful about what I want in my own life? Maybe being surrounded by very successful professional women is giving me successful vibes, and planning with action is the result?

This new phase isn’t immediately imminent. There is some time yet before I’m fully to this new place in life. First of all, Z won’t graduate for a couple more months, and isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. They’ll be at the local community college for at least a year or two. I’m not quite ready to quit my job, and I have some volunteer commitments I’m not ready to walk away from yet either. But I am planning, and I am putting things in place to prepare. I am aligning my life towards that time though, with intent and purpose. It’s exciting and also terrifying.

Word

For the last few years, I’ve chosen a “word of the year” – a word that aligns with, supports, and reflects whatever plans and goals I may have for that particular year. My word last year, selected long before Covid, and our whole world going completely sideways, was “simplicity.” Well, you certainly can’t get more simple than having everything basically canceled, can you? No vacations, no in-person work events (= way fewer work hours), virtual everything, delivered groceries, no dinners out, no weekend getaways, no date nights….life was definitely simpler. I’m sorry for choosing simplicity as my word last year, but in a way I’m thankful for the forced slowdown. That is the one thing I will appreciate from last year.

I started thinking about this year’s word in early November. I went rounds with a few for over a month, while I also thought about my goals for this new year. I ended up choosing “intention” as my word. I wanted to go at life, every bit of life, with intention. It felt lofty, but not overwhelming, even as I dove into my 2021 planner and outlined how that might impact each goal for each part of my life.

And then last Wednesday happened. I watched in horror as domestic terrorists overtook our Capitol, and tried to overturn an election while hunting down elected officials (who, bless, had already been taken to safety). For the next few days, I just felt fragile, still bruised and drained from last year. Friday afternoon, I looked at that goal page in my planner, and I felt utterly overwhelmed. Turning a calendar page did not turn away from the issues we’re still facing as a society, as a country, as a community. I listened to one of my favorite podcasts, and one of the hosts gave us all permission to just not be okay for a bit, to step back and just be where we each are. I just felt relieved after listening to that, and freed somehow. And I decided I wanted/needed to change my word of the year for this year. Yes, by day 8, I was changing my word.

My new word is “gentle”. I think we all need to be more gentle….gentle with ourselves, gentle with others. We have suffered trauma. We continue to suffer trauma. Covid hasn’t gone away, and from all current appearances, will not go away for a good long while. I was barely recovering from the drama and exhaustion of the election when last week happened. We are bruised, battered, worn down. I didn’t realize just how much until I watched the attempted coup unfold before my eyes last Wednesday, and have spent the last five days listening to the ever-revealing outcomes and investigations.

While I still want to have intention as I go about each day, that is not the driver I want to have for the entire year. I just feel gentleness this year is what’s called for. That’s not to say I’m going to give up trying in life, I’m just going to give allowances, give grace. If I wake up on a running day and I just don’t have a run in me, then I’ll walk, and not feel guilty about it. I will accept with gentleness the fact I’m not going to get through every to-do list every day. I will give myself that grace. Gentleness means accepting that one task on one day may be entirely overwhelming, and understanding that it may be quite a simple task to accomplish the next day.

I am also choosing to be gentle with others. You don’t know at all what’s going on in someone’s life when you come across them out in the world, not unless you specifically know them and/or ask. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from having an autistic child, it’s that we all carry stuff, unseen on the surface. I want to approach people in my life, already accepting I don’t know what they’re carrying, and be gentle with them, be kinder, be more accepting, more patient and understanding.

Gentle……When I think of the word, it makes me feel more peaceful, like I can breath. My friends, be gentle with yourselves in these times. And I pray a gentle 2021 for each of you.

Where’d she go?

Y’all may be wondering where I disappeared to over the past few months. Honestly, I can’t say. It’s not that I don’t think about writing. In fact, I have a few scraps of paper with lists of potential posts shoved in each desk drawer, however, every time I sit down to write, it all seems so inconsequential. I can’t seem to get anything out of any substance whatsoever, outside of those “what I’m reading” posts at the end of each month.

I don’t know about you, but I have been struggling with focus pretty much since shutdown started. I am easily distracted, if I even get started on something. Even work is a challenge – as if I somehow forgot to do things I’ve been doing for years. On the opposite end of that, as soon as I lay down to go to sleep at night, my brain is spinning, spiraling on all the things I didn’t get done, all the things I need to still do, all the worries, fears. concerns. I can focus on that stuff in the dead of night like nobody’s business. Is anyone else suffering this as well?

Anyways, I just wanted to say I’m not gone. I’m fine – well, as fine as any of us at the moment. I have it in mind to push myself to post a couple times a week going forward. Wish me luck!

My Five Things, Part 2

It’s amazing how many things you can come up with to list. I borrowed from a few fellow bloggers to create my list of lists. So, here we go. Then after today, I will have some deeper thoughts about the things that have been happening in our world very recently, including the deep dive I decided to embark upon this week.

Five Things New to My Life Since Quarantine:

  1. Zoom everything. Isn’t this true for everyone? I’d used Zoom a few years back, when I was working as a PA/Social Media manager. I hated it. I hate being on camera, hate hearing my own voice. But Zoom seems to be the way of the quarantine world. Work incorporated it, since we cannot have in-person events for now. Book club uses it. Athletic Boosters club uses it. The Pilates studio uses it. And family uses it (as well as FaceTime).
  2. A Blank Calendar. I have a white board calendar that hangs above my desk, in addition to two planners, an Outlook calendar, and a calendar app. Normally, they are all full, cross-referenced, color-coded. Now, they’re just basically empty.
  3. Using my KitchenAid mixer on the regular. I’ve used it more in the past three months than I’d used it in the past four years.
  4. Really watching old baseball games. I never saw the need before. With no sports on TV, I’ve re-watched a bunch of old ball games…We’ve watched the Cubs win the 2016 World Series Game 7 three times, the 2019 Game 7 twice, and basically every perfect game MLB has shown since quarantine started, including my beloved A’s perfect game on Mother’s Day in 2010 by Dallas Braden.
  5. Not being able to readily find everything I need/want in the grocery store.
All those empty days…

Five Books I Just Read (I’ll do my usual monthly post with my reviews in a separate post)

  1. White Fragility (This is part of the deep dive I referenced in the first paragraph of this post. I’ve selected a black-owned independent bookstore to link to. If you choose to check out this book, please find a black-owned independent bookstore near you to order/buy)
  2. The Henna Artist by Alka Joshi. This was a Reese’s Book Club selection, and one of my book clubs chose it for June. Lovely book.
  3. All Adults Here by Emma Straub.
  4. You Never Forget Your First, by Alexis Coe (this is a George Washington biography).
  5. Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire by Jen Hatmaker.

Five Books Next up on my TBR

  1. Circe by Madeline Miller
  2. Self Made by A’Lelia Bundles
  3. Anything is Possible by Elizabeth Strout (the June Jen Hatmaker Book Club selection)
  4. Be the Bridge by Latasha Morrison
  5. In Five Years by by Rebecca Serle

Five Things I Struggle With

  1. Insomnia – what is it with 3am? And also, I seem to have lost the ability to sleep in. My wake-up time keeps getting earlier too. At the start of quarantine, I was sleeping until 7am, then it was 6:30, then 6:15, and now 5:45. We have nothing to wake up early for!!!
  2. Anxiety – see above. I’ve had multiple panic attacks since this all started, which, bless, have calmed down in the last month or so.
  3. The next level of constantly having to decide what to make for dinner, then making said dinner. We won’t even talk about all the dishes that go with having five people in this house All. The. Time.
  4. My body image. It’s seriously tanked since menopause kicked in. I’ve gained weight I cannot take off no matter what I do. I’m uncomfortable in my own skin, and I detest mirrors. I’ve tried everything. Nothing works. I feel much like I did back in college (yeah, the time I weighed 98 pounds and thought I was fat).
  5. Not buying all the books, all the time. I’ve had about four book-buying-binges in the last three months, which is why my TBR is still ridiculous in spite of all the extra reading time.

Five Places I’m Thinking About Going When It’s Safe to Travel Again

  1. Maui – my happy place, always.
  2. Costa Rica – we were supposed to leave for an 8-day trip to Costa Rica next week. But then Covid.
  3. Italy – my FIL was working on a trip to Tuscany next February. I LOVE Tuscany. It’s probably my second-favorite happy place.
  4. Arizona – I really, really miss my Daddy and Mom-L
  5. Anywhere we can RV camp (this is probably happening sooner than later – we’re working on a trip right now, before everyone heads off their different directions at the end of the summer).

And there you have it – my Five Things. Hope you enjoyed! Now, share your five things (if you haven’t already).

My Five Things

I was tagged in a post the other day by my friend and fellow blogger, Milagro Mama , in her 5 Things posts. The world has turned upside down in the last few months, moreso in the last week. I spent the last few days considering and thinking and learning. I’m still processing a lot of stuff, so now seems a good time to take a quick break, do something a little frivolous and fun, while my brain ruminates on the more serious things. And with that, My Five Things….

Five Things Getting Me Through Quarantine:

  1. My back patio – Seriously. I have been spending so much time out there. We have a pool, with a waterfall from the hot tub to the pool. Just the sound of that brings a measure of peace. And then when that turns off, and I can hear the kids playing next door, hear the multitude of birds that live in our corner of the neighborhood, hear the lawnmowers and leaf blowers cleaning the nearby yards.
  2. Books (more on that in a few paragraphs). I’m an avid read. I believe I’m up to 250 books in my personal library. I’ve always said if the zombie apocalypse happens while I’m in a book store, I might not be mad. I’ll just read. When this pandemic lockdown started, I had twenty five books on my TBR. I’ve read over twenty books since the beginning of March. I have 31 books still on my TBR.
  3. Walks. I’m a runner in general, but we have a wonderful walking path all around the outside of our neighborhood that’s three miles, door to door. There have been days I’ve done the loop twice, morning and evening, when I really needed to clear my head or deal with my emotions.
  4. Runs. My running routes just give me space, and help keep that Covid 15 at bay. I’ve incredibly been able to increase my short-run pace by 30+ seconds per mile. Is it the cleaner air? Less traffic? More focus?
  5. Scrapbooking. I started scrapbooking when Big Man was a baby. For the past 11 years, I’ve gone away two weekends a year, most years, on scrapbooking retreats. Since everything is canceled this year, my dining room has become my craft room. I’m about a third of the way through our Italy trip last year.
The Herd’s Back Patio
Scrapbooking our Italy Trip

Five Podcasts I’m Listening To

I didn’t used to be much for podcasts. Like audible books, I found myself only half listening, missing most of the content, and just impatient with the process. Then a few years back, I found a couple of podcasts that not only held my attention, they kept me engaged and entertained. I’ve since branched out and now have maybe a dozen on my subscribed list. But here are my top-5, go-to podcasts.

  1. Pantsuit Politics Sarah and Beth don’t always have the same views on all things political, but through them, I’ve learned how to have political conversations, with grace. Sarah tends to represent my first reaction to things (emotional), and then Beth comes in with her calm thoughtfulness. They both are incredibly brilliant, well-studied people who present even the most difficult of topics in a graspable manner. I also highly recommend their book, I think You’re Wrong But I’m Listening (not sponsored).
  2. The Popcast with Knox and Jamie If you’re looking for hilarious content, go listen. They literally say at the beginning of each episode, “A weekly podcast educating the world on things that entertain, but do not matter.” People look at me like I’ve lost my ever-lovin mind when I’m listening to Knox and Jamie on my walks because there I am, headphones on, laughing my fool head off. They make my week, every week. Their snake drafts are the absolute best.
  3. The Daily Twenty minutes gives me what’s going on in the world, with a deeper dive on one main topic. I usually listen to this in the car on the way to/from school, or while I’m getting ready in the morning. Best part – how Michael Babaro says “this is what else you need to know today” and how he hmmmmms his way through interviews.
  4. What Should I Read Next Again, avid reader here. I love reading, I love talking about books, I love hearing other people talk about books. This is one the podcasts I use to add to my TBR stack. Anne Bogel also puts out a summer reading guide which is awesome.
  5. For The Love With Jen Hatmaker I’m a lifelong Christian. I also swear a bit, drink wine, think love is love is love, and want relationships that reflect all of that. Jen Hatmaker does that with love and humor and incredible reflection. I want to be her when I grow up. (For the record – I do financially support Pantsuit Politics and the Popcast, but I listened to each for over two years before taking that very-recent step).

Five Topics I Blog About

  1. Prematurity/Premature Birth – Big Man was born at 26 weeks gestation, and we endured 93 days in the NICU with him.
  2. Autism – Little Man was diagnosed at 8 years old.
  3. Raising teenagers, which includes posts on high school life, and now college life, as well as just my general mom-of-teens thoughts.
  4. Books – I started a monthly post this year of the books I’ve read. It helps me keep track, and I’d love to contribute to the reading world in some small way.
  5. Dealing with aging parents. This is a pretty new topic for me to hover on, but my parents are aging, and we did have the care of my mom, post-stroke, for three months recently. It’s impactful and life-changing.

Five Foods I love

  1. Cheeseburgers
  2. Pizza – has to be thick-crust, but as far as toppings, I’m pretty open. Just no tomatoes, pineapple, pears, peppers, or random fruit.
  3. Carnitas – this is my go-to when I’m training for a race and finish a long run (8+ miles) on a Saturday or Sunday.
  4. Omelets – I LOVE to go out to breakfast. Spouse could care less about even eating breakfast much less going somewhere to get it. But when we actually do go out for breakfast (typically only when we travel), and omelets are an option, that’s guaranteed what I’m getting.
  5. Chips – especially if there’s salsa or onion dip or 7 layer dip or bean dip or queso or artichoke dip nearby to dip them in. I can skip dessert anytime, but I struggle to pass up chips.

Part 2 of My Five Things coming your way tomorrow.