Jenn's Pen

Today I am grateful for lots of little things that made my day better. . . The teenage boy who opened up and talked to me at summer school, the warm breeze I enjoyed while reading Freire for school, my hairdresser who squeezed me in last minute, and the pleasure on Signe's face while she played with her Lego knights and castle that she bought with her own money over the weekend. Also, with summer semester ending this week, the prospect of writing a whole actual blog post one day soon.

Today I am grateful for. . . a clean house and folded laundry.  And Bre, who helps it all happen.

Things I am grateful for today (and always):

Today I am grateful it's Friday! And that we had the foresight several months ago to purchase Zoo Concert tickets to The Head and the Heart concert.  It was the best reward at the end of a week of deticated and determined work. I seriously haven't felt that relaxed in a long time.

School has taken over my life.

Facebook has become my message board to the world.  My little Facebook world, anyway.  It is much quicker to post a picture and make a quick status update than to create an entire blog post.  But I miss the writing, the personal reflection, the string of multiple thoughts that form as I write them and turn into something so much more than I sat down to write.  Like this post, for instance.  Who knows yet what it will become!

I have heard a million times that to be a writer you must write.  Every day.  Yeah, I don't do that.  The "writer" in me has gotten buried under the student, mother, wife, aspiring teacher roles (among others). I miss her.

I read some advice today about how to make your life happier by starting at home.  I am absolutely a believer that if your home is orderly your life will feel more orderly and vice versa.  Along with an orderly home, this person suggests that everyone should take time at the end of the day to reflect and jot down one line of gratitude for the day.  Positive thoughts beget positive thoughts.

In school we do a lot of reflection.  To be a good teacher, one must be willing to ponder what it is that is working and what isn't, and then be willing to be flexible.  We read a lot about how to better ourselves so we can help better the lives around us.

The last year has held so much growth for me. My relationship with myself has improved a hundred fold.  A lot of reflection has brought me to where I am today and will surely propel me into the future.  I have learned that once you are willing to really look inside yourself and question every last thing you see, really question why you think that and what that means and how that impacts who you are, inside your own head, inside your circle of family and friends, inside your community and greater world at large, you learn things.  It's scary.  But if you can really decided what you are willing to stand behind and what you need no part of, if you accept your weaknesses AND your strengths, if you own your life instead of letting others define you, it gets less scary.  It gets pretty great, actually.  The added bonus to being totally comfortable within yourself? The world becomes a better place, full of fabulous people and wonderful potential.  I like my world.

I have plenty of self-improving to do, no one is ever done with that, but when I look back to even one year ago I see how far I've come, and it inspires me to keep going.

It also inspires me to take back that which I have given up, my writing time.  Even if it is only one line of gratitude each day.  Ha! I set out to write one line of gratitude about my day and ended up with a whole post.  Apparently the writer inside me thinks she has things to say.  We shall see. . .

Day One:

Today I am grateful for. . . (sheesh, I have been sitting here for several minutes trying to pick just one--It's very hard!) great, intelligent friends whom I admire, who post inspiring things on Facebook that make me stop and think and make small changes to improve myself.  Thank you.

Change.


Change is a funny thing. Sometimes it is exciting, and sometimes scary, or hard.  Or all three.  And sometimes it is so gradual you never even notice it is happening.

I feel as though our family has been evolving in a lot of interesting ways over the past year.  It feels like good things are on the horizon.  That doesn't mean I don't have moments of temporary panic and doubt, but when I look at where we stand and how far we've come I can breath a little easier.  In fact, sometimes a hint of giddiness creeps in.

Possibilities abound. . .



The same can be said of parenting.  Some days are monumental.  But mostly not.  Mostly you trek along doing what you set out to do, one step at a time. Homework. Piano lessons. Housework. Volunteer. Laundry. Tae Kwon Do. Run. Make lists. Cross items off lists. Trudge along. . . But you are so close to the details of your life you often fail to see the wonderful things that are developing until you step back and take a good look at your progress--at the whole picture from your new perspective.



Last week while I was researching for a paper topic for a class I am taking I came across a study that was analyzing the effects of parental involvement on a child's success--both in school and in life.  And while many factors affected how well a child performed in school, the most influential factor was the environment fostered by the parents.  Specifically, the study claimed that parents who had high expectations and aspirations for their children, who read with them and to them, and who exposed their children to educational experiences (like trips to the museum or simply having books in the home), were the ones whose children most often succeeded.  All of these, of course, come from actually spending time with your children, accompanied by positive reinforcement.


It all got me thinking about what we do with our children--and by we I mean "me".  I certainly feel as though we have spent more time doing fun things as a family over the past six months or so.  That was a conscientious decision we made last summer--to spend more time doing fun things as a family.  And we have.  We bought cross country skis and have gone a couple of times already, which we love.  We have begun to run as a family and have signed up for our first 6K as a family (perhaps that isn't actually fun, but we pretend it is!). We have tried to maintain our tradition of Family Fun Friday, intermittent though it often is with Signe's soccer games on Friday.  Nevertheless, that study had me wondering if we were doing enough.  Surely we could  spend more quality time together as a family.  And while helping the girls with their homework and reading to and with the girls is good, I thought it might be fun to somehow combine Family Fun Friday with educational activities. Leisure and learning. Anything to combat the influx of electronic activities encroaching on our lives.



So I went online and compiled a list of local museums, theaters, nature preserves, historic places, family entertainment venues, etc.  Anything and everything I thought might expose the girls to something new-- activities and places meant to be fun and broaden their perspectives.  Near the bottom of the list was rock gym.  Rob has been wanting to try rock wall climbing, so when I saw the gym I added it to the list.  MY first choice was the Portland Museum.  Rob's first choice was the rock gym.

We went to the rock gym.





Honestly, the girls were stoked and much braver than I would have suspected.  We all had fun working our way to the top of the 36 foot wall.  I tend to be afraid of heights.  But I learned that when I have a safety rope, I only have to focus on where my hands and feet are going RIGHT NOW.  Before I knew it I was at the top! When I stopped and looked back at how far I had gone, I was surprised to see how high I was.  It was a whole new perspective.


Kind of like life.

We expect a lot from our girls.  We push them quite a lot. I worry often about whether I am pushing them too much or not enough.


Do I invest enough quality time with them?
Have I provided good opportunities for them?
Will they be happy and well balanced?
Am I making them neurotic!?  




We plod along one foot hold and hand grasp at a time, hoping we are headed to a place of progress rather than a dead end or danger.  But then. . . once in a while. . .

We lean back and see how far we've come.  We take in the view. We see the good.  We feel the  giddiness start to creep in.  And we know--I know--beautiful things are happening.

Possibilities abound.



(I apologize for the crappy picture quality--I wasn't about to try taking my good camera--I clearly need to get a good quality point and shoot!)

The book fair at my daughters' schools this year had an alien theme.  I believe it was "To the Book Fair and Beyond".  I was on the committee.  We did a lot of alien related contests and art, including an alien art contest where the winners got their drawing on a t-shirt.  The kids decorated their classroom doors with aliens and this week, as a reward for making the money goal set for the fair, the principals of the three schools are dressing up like aliens for a day.