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Monday, December 19, 2005

Comedy debut

Alrighty, get your tomatoes ready. The highly-anticipated, widely celebrated video of my comedy debut has been released and is posted on the 'Net. I am scared to let the world see it - really scared - though I was very happy with my performance that night and did get lots of laughs. Guess whoever sees that will be the ultimate judge of it, but here goes. Be relatively nice, but I'd like to get feedback - honest feedback. I would like to write more but I am working on a piece about the experience that will be in an upcoming issue of Cincinnati Magazine. I'll post here when that articles appears, but it'll likely be a few months. Also, keep in mind that at parts it's rather explicit. Don't watch it at work (or turn your speakers down) and you may want to keep the kids away. And it's worth noting that comedy is mostly made-up hyperbole and roman a clef. Any similarities to actual persons living or dead, places and events are coincidental and should not, in any way, be taken literally, personally or otherwise. Click here to see the video. And cock your arm back far to throw the tomatoes hard at your monitor screen.

Party on Wessels Avenue

Last evening as I was coming home from Bridgetown when I happened upon the street in Price Hill that bears my family's name. Don't believe it was named after any of my relatives (considering our clan immigrated in 1955), but the spelling is the same. So, as I had thought about doing many times before and this time I actually did, I stopped and took a couple pictures. And there was an assemblage of local kids hanging around and they wasted no time asking who I was, if I was a police officer, if I was with the news and just generally what the hell I was doing there. After answering their questions and explaining that my name was the same name that was on that sign, they were more relaxed and asked if I would take their picture. Antionetta (left, red coat) asked me if I would e-mail her the photo. I also corrected their pronunciation of the street's name. They had always called "Wezt-lells" or something like that. Now I think I helped them give it the true German American pronunciation.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Have fun in Indiana, Sid

For the past two nights we celebrated the Birth of Sid. Seems appropriate given the time of year. After all, he is quite possibly the only person I know who could - and has - pulled off three going away parties spanning two months and three days. We are assured this time, though, he is actually leaving. Dances-in-Suits, as we so affectionately call him, is the best-dressed young professional in all of Greater Cincinnati. Shockingly, at his going away party last night he was not wearing a suit nor a tie, opting instead of the shirt-under-a-sweater. Business casual has changed forever. No matter. When he does have a suit on there is never a crease or a wrinkle on that premium navy blue or black suit, powder blue button-down shirt and red power tie tied in a double-Windsor knot. And that's at 4 a.m., standing on Fountain Square. Others? Scruffy and worn from the long day and even longer night before. Sid? Dressed for a board meeting. It's amazing. Now we bid a fond farewell to Mr. D'Souza. He is leaving us for India, we think. Indiana? Bangor, Maine? No one's really sure, but what we hear it's hard or maybe even impossible to drive there. When he gets back he says he's going to business school. He won't say where. It is, apparently, none of our business. Seriously though, Sid D'Souza is going to be missed. The consummate gentleman, friend, confidant and professional, Sid has been a mainstay on the local young professionals scene long before I arrived back here in Cincinnati in 2003. He has to spare charisma, kindness, charm, a sense of humor, intellect, a stellar smile and a swooning entourage of endearing ladies, not to mention a collection of personally signed and autographed books authored by a Who's Who of local and national Fortune 500 CEOs who all wish they could be as suave as Sid (and they write it so inside the front flap). Plus, he as a superhero-like ability to wear full business attire even while swimming laps in the YMCA pool and simply amazes just about everyone he meets. Plus, he likes to tell people that he and I met in jail - which is true. And funny. I'll miss him and the energy he brings to the effort to keep Cincinnati relevant and hip for young professionals in the area. I have enjoyed our evenings running around Cincinnati, sharing some good laughs and good times. I enjoyed having him as a guest on the radio show this summer (listen to his interview), introducing him to Senor Bumblebee and running into him everywhere I went without him, bringing ubiquity to a whole new level and creating a if-Sid-is-not-at-the-party-then-we-are-at-the-wrong-party criteria to every local event. As one final parting gift to a good friend, here's smattering of photos taken at Sid's Going Away Party: Month II Part II. Good luck, my friend. We'll be waiting for the postcards.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

I love(d) Fort Scott

Report This! along with all previous posts have permanently moved to a new location. Now you can find the Blog and lots of other stuff at the newly revamped joewessels.net. You will be re-directed shortly (or click on the hyperlink). See you there! This past weekend began a significant moment in the life of this Blogger. In reality it's something I have been prepared to see happen for many years, but somehow with some luck, it took 16 long years to really take place. Fort Scott Camps, where I attended as a kid - and loved so dearly - has been sold to be turned into a 950-home subdivision. The camp closed in 1989. This past weekend the Crosby Township Fire Department used the first building to be removed - the Girls' Lodge - as a practice burn to ready their firefighters for real fires. It was dramatic to watch - for anyone to watch - with the fire roaring to the sky, and smoke billowing and enveloping the fire trucks, firefighters and bystanders nearby. It was also heartbreaking to see the beginning to an end of such a big part of my life. With a pile of wood placed just inside the doorway of the old building with white siding and a green shingled roof with green-painted trim, right in the middle of a building where I went to at least one senior dance (and so clearly remember hearing Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me" for the first time, prompting me to go out and buy the 45), the firefighters poured gasoline on the stack and dropped a match. There the orange flames began and quickly grew higher and larger and hotter and spread inside this place full of memories. This place was also the place where perched on the hillside was a stone patio overlooking the Great Miami River. There I remembered I would look to see my best friend Alan's house on the hill opposite and feel some comfort when the inevitable homesickness of being at an overnight camp without Mom and Dad set in. I can't believe it's now that I am experiencing this loss. Until now nearly every building and the two swimming pools at the former camp remained untouched. The person who bought the camp from the Archdiocese of Cincinnati used it has his home, a sprawling 400-plus-acre ranch with buildings used for entertaining guests and storing old tractors, farm equipment and motorcycles and other various items he had collected. It's amazing to be there now, aside from the deterioration of the swimming pools and the grass growing out of the tennis courts, the place has actually been maintained. Buildings, for the most part, have received paint, the grass has been mowed and the doors and windows are still there. Some cabin names, until recently, still stood over cabin doorways. It's still virtually the same Fort Scott Camps that I remembered as a child. I could go on and on about the many, many positive memories and first experiences I had at that place - shooting a BB gun for the first time, hitting a bull's-eye in archery for the first time, riding horses through the vast wilderness, sleeping alone in the woods as the final trial for my naturalist badge, or learning to be an actor - or to act goofy - in a drama class that I so dearly loved (and won awards for my silliness and, I guess, skills). I learned to swim better there, too. Competing against the Girls' Camp in the Sunday Swim Meet, and doing not-so-badly that I could hold my head high as I came out of the pool - even if I hadn't won the race. Or those "Junior-Midget Dances". "Midgets" and "Juniors" were the names given to the youngest and second-youngest campers at Fort Scott, respectively. It was a pre-pubescent romp through the teen years at age eight - and I loved it - replete with Top 40 music and a deejay and dimmed lights and slow dancing and pretty girls. It was great, even if I was scared to death to ask any woman (ahem, girl) to dance with me. It was romantic, it was summer and it was my childhood. I still have a little Kinney Shoes shoebox (remember Kinney?) filled with mementos of my summers there. A green ribbon with the gold-stamped lettering "Fort Scott Camps, The Place to Be in '83". That's 1983, kiddies. My "Character Rating Card" that was my counselor's report card to my parents about my behavior while I was in his cabin. I always took pride in getting high marks there. I have copies of the hand-drawn map carefully outlining the trails and campsites in the Fort Scott forest. The famous "Grubers" spot - I can remember that camp site without even looking. I kept one bumper sticker, the ones for sale in the Fort Scott boys' canteen store that had in green letters with a big red heart, "I (heart) Fort Scott". You used to see them all around town on station wagons and mini vans and family cars. You could leave town and go to Columbus or Indianapolis and see them there, too. Or the legend of Pottinger, the mythic man who lived just beyond the camp's borders and hated so much when he found Fort Scott campers trespassing on his property that he'd load salt pellets in his shot gun and shoot campers in the butt if he could. It was enough to keep us scared from wandering off camp property, the logical intent of the legend for our counselors charged with our care, unrealized by our little imaginative minds. Counselors. I can remember my first. Brian O'Neil. Then came Michael Busic. Dennis Knippenberg. The names seem as fresh as those people were so bigger-than-life and so "old" when I was a kid. I'm now probably ten years older than they were then. Hard to imagine. Then there were those other legends of camp, those counselors who weren't your own, but they taught all the cool classes and became legends themselves. Tom Beiting. That name pops into my mind so readily, it's scary. His Indian powwows where he wore Native American dress and jumped over the heads of campers sitting around a camp fire from a darkened woods and then ran around the fire, jumping over it and chanting the way we all thought Indians might have chanted, all of us entertained and mystified by his presence. I think I'd ask him for his autograph if I saw him today. I kind of wish I had back then. "Stretch" - this tall guy. A great counselor. What was his real name? Did he even have a real name? He was just Stretch to us and that was just fine with him. Laura Beiting, Mary Ann Beiting. That whole Beiting family - they were legends. Of course, Laura, Miss Beiting. Had I only been a little older and she a little younger, a marriage proposal would've been in order. Those crushes when you're 10, 11, 12 years old are so funny. So many memories of a place that I was so terrified to go to my first year that my Mom cancelled at the last minute until I was more ready the next year. But even that next summer, when they had actually got me in the car and drove that five minutes to camp (I lived across the river and up the hill from camp), came the moment my parents walked away from the cabin and I still cried. My counselor saved me and told me to try playing with the other boys, which I did and forgot momentarily that I couldn't go and run into Mommy's arms. Then, when I got home two weeks later I laid in my bed and cried, begging my parents to take me back. I was in love, the first of many times my heart would be broken in my life. Not even the first time my heart would be broken as it was related to that camp. But it was life and it taught me about it. *** Within a half-hour the building was a smoldering pile of smoking gray and white ash, with two gray, now black smoke-stained chimneys standing on opposite ends, that patio still intact. The home of my friend - where someone else's family now lives - even more visible with the Winter's barren trees opening a clearer sight line from where I stood, a safe distance away. While it burned in it's blazing hot, orange brilliance, evoking this mixed-emotion of neat-o and profound sadness, in the bitter cold just feet away in safety from the comforting warmth of the smoldering building, I said a prayer. It was a prayer for the Church that once owned this great place and let it die despite the desperate cries of those who had built it, loved it and made it what it was. It was a prayer for all the bad decisions the Roman Catholic Church has made in the last 80 or so years, the ones that have not benefited anyone but themselves and have hurt thousands of people, some much more serious than the decision to close a summer camp. I have started to realize that in my life I will see lots of change. I guess when you hit your 30s you start to realize that not everything will last forever and that things do change. Mortality means change and that things come and go in life and many do not ever stay forever. The unexpected does happen. People let you down. Organizations and routines you count on change and sometimes get worse. Some get sweeter and better. People get greedy or maybe just don't see things the way you do, and you move on or they do, too. People and places come into your life at the right time and then leave before you realize they're gone, the impact already made, the mark left, the memory made. The good comes to fill in when the bad seems so heavy. And just the opposite sometimes, too. I wonder why it took me so long to realize this sometimes. But I think someone, somewhere, some Higher Power, let me realize it when they knew I'd be ready. This burning, tearing down of camp is happening when they knew I would be ready to let go. Doesn't make it any easier, though. But I can see that chapter, that passage now for what it's worth, for the good, the bad. I can see it for the doors the past 16 years that it opened and the experiences I might never have had if Fort Scott stayed open. I asked the firefighter heading up the practice burn how long it would be before they came and hauled away the remaining parts of the building and cleared the spot for the builders. "They'll just come with a bulldozer and spread it around and work it into the dirt," he said. Really, I thought. Like a spreading of the ashes of a dead person, forever making this building and the memories and positive experiences that happened in it part of the ground around it. Fitting, I thought. Very fitting. Perfect, even. The photos turned out great, something I'll be able to use for my portfolio as I build my career in journalism. One more time this place gave back to me I think, looking through the awesome shots on the little LCD screen on the back of my camera. I'm happy to know they'll be burning down more buildings there, and the firefighters have invited me back. It's neat to watch. Can't wait. More buildings that will be a part of the ground again. The next to burn? The place where I saw "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" for the first time. It'll be cold outside and hot near the building. I'll bring the hot chocolate and raise a toast to what once was before I watch it return to the ground.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Photos of Mark Mallory's Union Terminal Swearing In Ceremony

Tonight I headed over to Union Terminal to see a reenactment of today's earlier swearing-in ceremony for Cincinnati's new mayor, Mark Mallory. Filled with much more pomp and circumstance than the day's traditional Oath of Office ceremonies held this afternoon at City Hall (where also City Council members were sworn in), this was more a party than a ceremony, though there was much speech-giving and back-slapping. And I guess deservedly so. It's another side of the city that I don't think many get to (or maybe want to) see. That's why I'm here. I brought my camera to the occasion and snapped a few photos. Admittedly not my best work (my flash was on the fritz), but I think it still captures the feel of the night (and a lot of the Who's Who that were there). Enjoy. PHOTO CAPTIONS: In the first photo, Mayor Mallory was sworn in by his brother, the newly-re-elected William L. Mallory, Jr. In the lower photo a painted portrait of the new mayor is unveiled in front of the audience toward the end of the ceremony.