It's Either Sadness or Bookphoria...

In the immortal words of Keanu Reeves, “Whoa!” This fast-moving book was wild. This is now the second book of Audrey J. Cole’s that I’ve read and I can say one thing unequivocally: her books should come with a defibrillator!!

In high school, Palmer, Beth, Courtney, Gigi, and Emma were inseparable. Sure, Courtney was a bit of a mean girl at times, but she was kind and generous at others. Before they graduated, Courtney suggested they go on a weekend camping trip, with hiking and rafting. Yet only four of them returned. Courtney fell into the river and could not be rescued.

Questions about what happened on the camping trip followed the girls everywhere. They couldn’t seem to shake the cloud of suspicion they were under. While Palmer and Beth kept in touch, for the most part they all drifted apart.

Twenty years later, Gigi is a popular influencer, married to a hotel mogul. She invites the others on a yacht trip on the Pacific, to end in San Diego. Palmer’s marriage has just ended and she’s struggling emotionally, so Beth convinces her to come on the fully paid trip. And then the four of them can pay tribute to Courtney.

It’s not long before they’re sailing directly into a storm. The power and radio go down and the captain is missing, so they’re left with the first mate, who doesn’t seem to know the first thing about sailing. And then they find a note which brings the memories—and the secrets—from that camping trip back into the light. What really happened that weekend? Who was responsible? No one is above suspicion, and they all could be at risk.

The book shifts between high school and the yacht trip. None of the characters appears particularly sympathetic, and I had no idea whom to trust or root for. The twists came as fast as the waves and the storm! I needed a reminder of why I never want to go on a cruise, so thanks, Audrey!!

“Aden Shah’s parents flew before they died, and even he couldn’t miss the morbid punch line in that. After all, no one loved birds more than the Shahs.”

When Aden gets word that his parents have died in a freak accident, he leaves Chicago to head for his childhood home in New Hope, Pennsylvania. It’s been years since he’s been home or spoken to his family, but as the executor of his parents’ estate, he has to put his feelings aside.

His return is met with anger from his younger siblings, Aliza and Sammy. Aliza has essentially raised Sammy, since their parents were often traveling or neglectful. Aden must also confront one of the main reasons he fled home 10 years ago: Coco Chanel, his parents’ prized Major Mitchell’s cockatoo. Coco got more attention than anyone else in the Shah household.

Frayed by grief, anger, and resentment, one night Aden opens Coco’s cage and lets her fly away. Of course, when his siblings panic about Coco’a disappearance, the three of them hit the road to find her and bring her back home. They follow her tracking chip and tap into a vast network of bird watchers to try and find her.

But what they figured would take just a few days at most turns into a cross-country road trip where everything that can go wrong does. Along the way, they argue, reopen old wounds, and try to process their grief and anger toward one another, their parents, and life in general.

This is a powerful meditation on grief and resentment as well as growing up knowing you’ll never be as important as your avian sibling. I just felt everything repeated itself too much—the failed rescue attempts, the rehashed arguments, and the crazily farcical incidents that arise. The characters’ growth arc took a bit longer than necessary, but the emotions were still very palpable.

Funnily enough, this is the second consecutive book I’ve read in which sheep farming is involved. What are the chances? Thanks to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for the complimentary advance copy of this beautifully written coming-of-age novel!

For many young people, growing up in a small rural town can be confining, making them feel stuck in place. They dream about getting away, living a whole different life. But not Everett. He has grown up on a sheep farm outside Sault St. Marie, Michigan. It’s the only life he’s ever known and it’s the only one he wants.

Everett is biding his time, waiting to finish high school so he can get a job as well as raise and breed sheep. He dreams of one day buying the family farm from his parents and making good money from his animals.

Then he meets Mary. Mary has just moved to town with her father, who is in the Coast Guard. She’s moved around a lot and done what’s expected of her. But all she dreams of is getting away, going to art school in California, doing what she wants to do and being totally free to live her life her way.

The two fall for each other, even though Mary is clear that she doesn’t want to stay in Michigan. But for the first time, she feels seen for who she is. When they come to a crossroads, Everett wants a life with Mary in his hometown; she wants so much more. What decisions can they make for their future?

This is a very quiet, character-driven novel. It’s as much a love story about farming and raising animals as it is a romantic love story. There are a few graphic scenes in which nature and predators have an impact, but you can easily skim over those. This is a memorable debut novel, one that could have easily turned to melodrama, but I’m thankful it didn’t.

The book will publish 2/24/2026.

Here’s another terrific debut novel to add to the list of the ones I’ve enjoyed this year. You know I’m a fan of family dysfunction and drama (fictional, of course)!

The Ryan sisters—Cait, Alice, and Maggie—haven’t all been together in their family home in years. But this Thanksgiving, they’ll all be spending the holiday together, despite the misgivings and unspoken resentments each feels.

Twenty years ago, their brother Topher was involved in a boating accident that killed the younger brother of his best friend. The resulting lawsuit and the requirement that Topher admit guilt destroyed their family, and ultimately sent him into a downward spiral. But all those years later, Cait still feels immense guilt about her role in the accident.

Maggie, the youngest, is bringing her new girlfriend Isabel home with her. It’s the first time she’s brought anyone home, since her devoutly Catholic mother has never really accepted that she’s gay. But amidst the nervousness about the situation, Maggie is worried her job might be in jeopardy for a mistake she made.

Alice lives very near to their parents and has taken responsibility for their care, something she resents her sisters for. She, too, has a secret that has the potential to destroy her marriage and her future ambitions. All of these issues will be brought out in the open, as is often the case with the holidays.

Heather Aimee O’Neill is a terrific storyteller. While there’s a lot happening in this book, she deftly steered the plot away from too much melodrama or shocking pronouncements. I wanted to shake some sense into the characters at times, but I want to do that to people IRL sometimes, too. This reminded me a bit of Tracey Lange’s books. Can’t wait to see what O’Neill does next!

“The last night they’d spoken, she told him everyone takes two journeys alone, the one that brings us to Earth and the one that takes us to heaven, and it is the path we have trod in between that gives the measure of a life. It is the good we leave behind us, she said, that makes a life worth living.”

If I could give this book 10 stars, I would. This was an emotional and thought-provoking read with some of the most memorable characters, and I was all choked up at the end.

Gabriel Fisher’s mother died while giving birth to him. It’s no wonder: he weighed 18 pounds and measured 27 inches long at birth. But despite his tragic beginning, Gabriel was an absolutely wonderful child—friendly, affectionate, and good with animals (they loved him, too). And he never really stopped growing: he was the size of a full-grown adult by the time he was 11 or 12.

When his older brother dies, Gabriel is taken in by his Amish grandparents, who were forced to shun his mother when she became pregnant the first time. When Gabriel starts becoming popular because of his athletic prowess, his grandfather isn’t too pleased, but they do their best to raise Gabriel to understand their customs and rules.

When the town’s high school football coach gets a glimpse of Gabriel when he is playing in a field with other children, he convinces Gabriel—and his grandparents—that the boy will be a football star. This discovery sets Gabriel and those who love him on a life-changing path.

The book is narrated by Gabriel’s grandmother, the doctor who delivered Gabriel and became both mentor and surrogate father, the football coach, and a local bar owner. I liked how the book portrayed the Amish characters as so much more than stereotypes. This will definitely be one of my favorite books of the year.

I’m really late to the party in reading and reviewing this, but I’m so grateful to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for the advance copy I received. Amazingly, this is the second piece of climate fiction I’ve read in the last few months, and it really made me think.

It’s a time after the glaciers have melted and the world is lashed by severe weather conditions, including floods. In what was once New York City, Nonie, her older sister Bix, and their father live in an encampment of sorts atop the American Museum of Natural History. The girls have been taught to hunt and grow their food in Central Park.

Their other responsibility is to try and save the museum’s collections so that work in human history and science are not lost. But Nonie has a heightened sense of when precipitation is incoming, and when a massive storm breaches the city’s flood walls, her family and their researcher friend must flee. They grab what they can from the museum, including a birchbark canoe, and travel north along the Hudson River.

The journey is a harrowing one, fraught with danger and potential disaster. Along the way they not only have to brave the elements, but they also have to face the fears and uncertainties of the people they encounter, survivors who have formed small communities. They don’t have any sense of whom to trust and whom to fear, which proves harrowing.

The characters are really beautifully drawn, particularly Nonie. She, like so many who must brave catastrophe, is wise beyond her years, but she is also tremendously kind and empathetic.

While this moved a bit slower than I was expecting, I found this to be a powerful, emotional, and eye-opening book. In addition to its depiction of a world ravaged by climate change, this is a book about grief, love, and survival. It’s also a powerful tribute to the value of museums and what they help us learn and remember, important messages given the dangers museums face in the U.S.

Nothing makes me happier than a new book in the Puckboys series. This was Book 9, and it’s as steamy, romantic, sweet, and fun, as the early books were. This is definitely the series that keeps on giving!

Seventeen years ago, Colby and Novi were both drafted by the NHL team in Anaheim. Even though Colby was excited to be drafted, Novi was the type of athlete that you know will be a star. (And he knew it, too.) The two became close friends, although Colby definitely wanted something more, but didn’t think Novi would be interested. One night, after drinking, they came very close to crossing the line—and then Novi pulled away from him completely.

Now, Novi is a true star, nearing the end of an illustrious career. Colby never quite made it as a player, but started coaching, and after great success at the college level, he’s finally landed his first NHL coaching gig. He’ll be an assistant video coach in Los Angeles—for Novi’s team.

Both men are in turmoil from Colby’s arrival. Colby, who is now openly gay, wants to clear the air with Novi so it doesn’t affect his coaching job. Novi is closeted and deathly afraid that Colby might somehow figure that out. Novi wants to come out, but his sister and her family still live in Russia, and he’s afraid that his doing so might affect their lives.

After trying to avoid Colby completely fails, it’s not long before Novi admits the truth—he’s been in love with Colby for 17 years. At first, they try not to give into their pent-up desires and chance Novi’s secret gets discovered, but their willpower doesn’t last long. Can they find a way to be together without affecting either of their careers or Novi’s family?

Y’all know I love my hockey romances, but I just loved this second-chance love story. I always enjoy the supporting characters in this series. And the best part? The series will continue!!

This book was a wild ride! Enemies to lovers plus flesh-hungry zombies…the perfect romance!

Growing up in Wisconsin, Casey’s dad was a doomsday prepper. Every spare moment, Casey had to help her dad building fences, digging pits, creating hiding places. She hated it, because all she wanted was to be a typical teenager, but her peers ridiculed her because of her dad. And she couldn’t even understand why he thought the world was going to end anyway.

“I know you’re supposed to believe your parents, trust what they’re saying, and I have. I’ve believed every word my dad has uttered since I learned what words meant, but now I’m not so sure anymore. I stopped believing in Santa when I was nine years old, and I feel like I’m gonna stop believing in my dad one day too. Maybe I already have.”

The minute Casey turned 18, she fled, desperately wanting a normal life. And 16 years later, she’s living in Chicago, working as a medical resident and engaged to a handsome doctor. One night, a viral outbreak overwhelms the hospital where Casey works. People suffering from some sort of flu suddenly turn into hungry zombies. No one is safe.

As the situation in Chicago grows more dire, Casey realizes the only place she might survive is back in Wisconsin with her dad. He’s created a compound of sorts, housing family, neighbors, even some strangers. Casey is shocked to find that her dad has befriended Blake, the one classmate who made her life a living hell and broke her heart. Now he’s sexy, a former Navy SEAL, and he’s going to keep Casey safe—if she doesn’t kill him first.

I’ve been a fan of Jeneva Rose’s thrillers, but this book proves she can do absolutely anything. This is a little gory, a little steamy, a little emotional, and a whole lot of fun. Glad this was an Amazon First Reads book this month!

It will publish 10/1.

“I thought I had to run away to find myself, but maybe all I had to do was come back home.”

In July, I read Stirring Spurs, my first cowboy romance. It was part of a 4-book series called Rainbow Ranch, which focuses on a family of queer siblings and the ranch they own in Oklahoma. I was excited to return to the ranch for another adventure!

Sam’s life is falling apart, personally and professionally. He knows he’s going to get fired from his PR job at any time, and his latest girlfriend dumped him. And then he gets notified that he’s been left a strange inheritance from an old friend: a miniature horse and a small patch of land at Rainbow Ranch, where Sam spent some of his high school days.

To claim the inheritance, Sam has to stay and work at the ranch for 90 days. While he’s hoping to better understand what he’s been bequeathed, the big deterrent is having to go back to Oklahoma and face Benny, who was his best friend growing up. Benny and his family treated Sam like one of their own until Sam broke Benny’s heart, then disappeared from his life.

Benny loves ranch life, although the gay scene in Oklahoma is pretty sparse apart from occasional Grindr hookups. When he learns that Sam is returning to the ranch, it reopens the pain and heartbreak that Sam caused all those years ago. Benny vows to be stronger this time, but when Sam arrives—even sexier than he remembered—Benny’s resolve goes out the window. And while Sam’s feelings appear to have changed, his fear of coming out causes the same problems.

I really enjoyed these characters. There is longing, emotion, humor, and lots of steam. I wish that Benny’s siblings (and Dennis) played a larger part in the story, as they did in Stirring Spurs, but I have two more books in the series! This book made me say yee-haw!

Poignant and powerful, Aisha Muharrar’s debut novel will stay in my mind for a long while.

“There was a queasy unease to treading new waters, building the compass as you sailed, every choice a guess. Except it was worse now. Because it was expected at eighteen, or even twenty-five, but at thirty, it was embarrassing.”

Gabe was Julia’s first love. They met as high school students in Barcelona and had a wonderful summer. But Gabe wanted to be a musician, and he didn’t want a relationship to interfere with his career, so they went their separate ways.

From time to time, they would run into each other in Los Angeles. Gabe became a popular indie musician and Julia became a sought-after jewelry designer. Their old feelings would resurface on occasion, but they always seemed to tamp them down. And then, tragically, Gabe died accidentally when he was 29.

Julia is overcome by the waves of grief she feels, especially since their relationship was left at loose ends before he died. As a favor to Gabe’s mother, she travels to London to meet the last woman he loved, to see if she could reclaim some of his belongings. But upon meeting Elizabeth, an icy, guarded restaurateur, both women become protective over their memories of Gabe and the secrets each holds.

The narrative shifts between the present and various memories of Gabe and Julia’s encounters. There is an elegiacal sadness in this book but it’s never maudlin. It captures the frustrations we might have when we wish we had said, or did, something to a loved one whom we’ve lost. This was simply gorgeous.

I read and loved Lights Out, the first book in Elise Hart Kipness’ Kate Green series, about a year ago. I have no idea why it took me so long to pick up the second book, but after devouring it, I can definitely say that it won’t be long before I pick up the third one!

Sports reporter Kate Green is back on the job after the resolution of a murder case that put her in danger. She has the plum assignment of covering the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team as they battle for Olympic glory. It’s an exciting opportunity, even more so for Kate, a former Olympian soccer player. And given her past relationship with Savannah Baker, the head coach, she’s hoping for some good scoop.

The last thing she’s expecting is a murder to occur in the bowels of Yankee Stadium, where the games are being played.

The victim is Alexa Kane, a famous jewelry designer. Years ago, Kate and Alexa were best friends, playing on the U.S. Youth National Team with Savannah. Things ended quite abruptly, leaving Kate feeling guilty. But even with their shared past, there’s no reason that Alexa should’ve been behind the scenes at the game.

Kate feels a personal obligation to figure out who killed Alexa, and why. Doing so reawakens old memories. At the same time, she’s embroiled in a power struggle at the network, and she’s still digging into an old case involving her father, an NYPD detective. What is she in danger from?

I really am loving this series. Kate is a terrific character—tough yet vulnerable at times—and I can’t wait to see more of her interactions with her father as she digs more into his case. Like I said, I’ll be picking up the next book soon!!

I loved this! It was my last book of August and one of my favorites of the month. I love stories about family dynamics, but this was more than that.

“She is coming to understand that love and loss live on the same coin. It’s never heads or tails but joy and agony, grief and delight, spinning in the air, waiting on time and luck to determine not when this chapter ends but how the next one begins.”

Mia and Cricket are sisters, raised by a single mother whose dreams of greatness on the soccer field were derailed just as they were getting started. Mia played soccer until it became clear that Cricket was destined for greatness. So Mia became the responsible one, making sure Cricket got to and from practices and games, and that all the bills were paid.

When tragedy strikes, it becomes clear that if Cricket is to realize her true potential and one day play for the U.S. Women’s National Team, Mia will have to make sacrifices. But at what point does sacrifice and support breed resentment?

As Cricket pursues her dreams, she deals with the pros and cons of her single-mindedness, and the loneliness that often occurs when seeking greatness. Can she live up to her potential without ruining her relationships with Mia and others?

I’ve been a fan of Beck Dorey-Stein since her debut memoir, From the Corner of the Oval. I honestly knew very little about women’s soccer (save the superstars), so I found the story very interesting. But where the book sparkled the most was in its depiction of the complicated relationships of the sisters and their mother’s legacy.

The CEO of a global skincare company, Ami Shah is a role model. Raised in Singapore, she had to break down a lot of barriers to get to where she is, and convince many that despite her gender and the color of her skin, she’s a businesswoman to be reckoned with. Her company, Amala, is about to merge with a Fortune 500 company.

Her nomination for the Global Changemakers Award is unprecedented. This prestigious award has only gone to white men; she is the first woman of color to be nominated. If she wins the award, it will increase the value of Amala and cement her legacy.

While she should be beside herself about this honor, Ami would prefer to withdraw her nomination. All of the publicity makes her nervous—not because she’s shy, but because she’s not who she says she is. Ami (whose real name is Monica) was an orphan raised in a convent in Singapore. But since orphans in her country never had a chance to amount to much, she decided to steal a former classmate’s identity and move to London, which is where her new story began.

But as the merger details are finalized and the award ceremony draws closer, Ami starts getting threatening text messages promising to expose her lies if she didn’t confess. She knows if the truth comes out, everything she built will fall apart. To figure out who is blackmailing her, she must go back to where she vowed she’d never return: Singapore.

“She wanted to prove that just because a girl had been abandoned, it didn’t mean she had to carry that weight with her forever. She could find purpose, and through that, she could find herself.”

This was such a thought-provoking, emotional book. Mansi Shah created a story that seemed so plausible, and even though it’s a bit of a slow burn, it was tremendously compelling.

“They don’t understand that time equals loss. It’s a freaking law of nature. If Emma lets the years keep on passing, she’s just going to keep on losing. So is everyone else, even if they can’t bear to admit it. They just walk ignorantly through the world, turning away from anything they don’t want to see. But Emma sees all of it. And she needs them to know how bad things really are.”

It seems like a typical day at Ridgemont Academy, a prestigious New England prep school. Emma Blake, once a star student and class leader, has virtually disengaged from her classes. But an assignment in English class—to write a very descriptive essay—inspires her.

But when Emma reads her essay aloud in class, it provokes very strong reactions from her classmates and her teacher. The essay alarms the school’s headmaster, who views it as a cry for help. Emma doesn’t want help, however; she wants her fellow students to realize the tragic state of our world.

There’s much more that is motivating Emma, however. No one knows whether she’ll carry through with what she’s promising to do, and no one knows exactly why she’s been driven to this.

I’m being vague in my summary because there’s power in going in blind. This is an emotional book and many of the characters’ reactions felt very real. The book is marketed as a thriller but I don’t think that’s accurate. It skewed more YA but I still found it really compelling.

I don’t read a lot of horror because I hate being scared, but for some reason slasher films—particularly the classics from the 1980s and 1990s—work for me. That’s why I was excited to read Smile for the Cameras.

Ella’s big break in the movie industry was when she starred as the Final Girl in the slasher movie Grad Night. It became a classic, spawned many sequels, and made stars of its four leads and the young director.

But while the central role in a movie was a dream come true for Ella, something happened during filming that she’s been haunted by for the last 20 years. She and her costars vowed never to talk about it, and ultimately her guilt became too much to bear. She left the movie industry to care for her terminally ill mother in their upstate New York home.

After her mother’s death, Ella starts thinking about resurrecting her career. While there are a few promising roles she’d love, it seems like the only way she can land one of them is to agree to participate in the reunion documentary marking the 20th anniversary of Grad Night. Her three costars and the director will participate, so despite her trepidations, Ella agrees.

Of course, a reunion means the cast has to return to Blackstone Cottage, a cabin in rural Tennessee where the original movie was set. Ella is on edge almost from the moment she arrives, and while none of her fellow actors wants to talk about the secret they’ve kept hidden, she’s wracked with guilt. And when her costars start to die as they did in the movie, Ella may have to try and be the Final Girl once more.

This was a fun, campy, and slightly creepy read, which really captured the spirit of the 90s slasher movies. I found the ending somewhat anticlimactic, but I enjoyed the twists and turns along the way. This could actually be adapted into a fun movie.

Mackenzie was a pop star, part of a trio called Thunder Hearts. She and her two best friends had the time of their lives performing songs she wrote.

Sam was the lead singer of Candy Shard, a punk band. When their agents thought putting the two bands together for a tour might work, they had no idea that the chemistry between Sam and Mackenzie would ignite. Their will-they-or-won’t-they act had fans rooting for them, but after taking a step towards something, it quickly fell apart, and shortly after, both bands did as well.

Two years later, Sam has traded punk for a more acoustic singer/songwriter style, but no label seems interested. While he dreams of a second chance, he’s also happy helping to raise Ben, his young son, whom he found out about around the time his band fell apart.

Mackenzie, too, is looking for a change. After some surgical procedures left her voice altered a bit, she’s not felt comfortable performing, except under a pseudonym who uploads songs online. Seeing Sam again reawakens the complicated feelings she had for him, a combination of rivalry, desire, and friendship. It quickly becomes clear that the only way they’ll both get their second chance is by writing and performing a joint album.

Collaborating again will require them (mostly Mackenzie) to put aside their negative feelings towards one another. As their relationship deepens, the same flames spark again, but both have secrets they’re not ready to share. And on top of that, have they both matured enough to have a real relationship?

Emma Lord’s books are really cute, and Sam and Mackenzie really do have great chemistry with one another. But interestingly enough, while this is an adult romance, it skewed a little YA for me—although that was totally fine. I loved the insights into their creative process and the banter.

“The thing about being someone’s idea of beautiful was that because people felt comfortable looking at you, they assumed you felt comfortable in the world.”⁣

⁣ Birdie was 13, and she was living a fairly unremarkable life. Her parents’ marriage was unhappy and her mother often told her she had no personality, so she was lucky she was tall and reasonably attractive. Then one day, while shopping with her mother at a department store in NYC, Birdie was discovered by famed modeling agent Harriet Goldman. And in that moment, her life changed dramatically.⁣

⁣ In the mid 1970s, no one seemed to have concerns about a 13-year-old modeling and interacting with men much older than her. But over the first two years of her career, she came into her own, realizing that she could control what people saw when they looked at her. When she was 15, she posed for an album cover, and the 31-year-old rock star fell head over heels for her. ⁣

⁣ The rock star asked Birdie to go on tour with him, and her parents essentially sign her over to him, making him her guardian. Harriet warns her not to get involved with someone like him, but the excitement is too much to pass up. And when it ends, the experience leaves Birdie reeling.⁣

Some 30 years later, Birdie lives a quiet life outside the spotlight. She gets Botox, contemplates a face lift, and takes Pilates. And then she gets invited to a gala celebrating Harriet’s 50-year career. She doesn’t want to go, as they’ve been estranged for years, but she can’t not go. But doing so means she must finally confront all she lived through, as well as become comfortable with growing older.⁣

⁣ You really feel for Birdie and the many ways people mistreated her or let her down. It’s really quite difficult at times, but ultimately you hope she has the strength to confront her past. The book shifts between past and present, and while it moves slowly, it’s very well told.⁣

This book has been all over Bookstagram, and deservedly so. I’m a huge fan of Fredrik Backman’s, but I tend to love those of his books that are more serious and emotional. And he sure knows how to make me cry!

“Adults always think they can protect children by stopping them from going to dangerous places, but every teenager knows that’s pointless, because the most dangerous place on earth is inside us. Fragile hearts break in palaces and in dark alleys alike.”

You can obviously tell from the title that this is a book about friendship, but it is so much more than that. This is a story about loss, loneliness, the love we feel in our souls and the joy when that love is reciprocated. It’s also a story about rescuing those in need, even when you’re in need of rescue yourself.

In this book, as in his Beartown trilogy, some of Backman’s characters have known great pain, sadness, even hopelessness. Yet quite often, they still find the strength to endure, to experience joy, to love, even as their hearts are broken. That is one aspect that makes his books so meaningful and moving to me.

“He would often try to think that perhaps that has to be the case: that our teenage years have to simultaneously be the brightest light and the darkest depths, because that’s how we learn to figure out our horizons.” (I felt this quote in my soul.)

From the very first words in this book, I was reminded of a line from one of my favorite movies, Stand By Me. It goes, “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?” (Substitute 14 for 12, and that summed up so much of what made this book special.) I have no doubt this will be one of my favorite books of the year.

It’s 2011. Joan dreams of being a writer. By day, she’s an intern for an ultra-conservative Republican state legislator in Texas. And while her friends and roommate are all fairly liberal, Joan’s beliefs skew conservative.

As Joan struggles with finding inspiration to write about, she decides to pursue a romantic relationship, which hopefully will give her material. And the man she dates, Vince, does just that—he’s an egotistical musician who believes he’s more talented and more intelligent than everyone else. At the same time, she’s drawn to Roberto, a barista at her favorite establishment, who is also a writer.

Growing up wealthy, Joan is fairly rudderless. She drinks a lot, is addicted to Adderall, smokes a lot of weed, and doesn’t want for money. She’s also part owner of her father’s chain of recording schools, but she doesn’t take much responsibility there.

The brightest spot in her life is her cousin Wyatt. He’s tremendously creative and her partner in crime, but he’s also really troubled and struggling to find direction. His family’s solution to Wyatt’s problems is to send him to a Christian treatment facility—which doesn’t prove successful.

Joan’s own family exhausts her. Her father is an entrepreneur with a penchant for getting married to unsuitable women, while her mother is a former addict who disapproves of the way Joan lives her life. She’s caught between her parents, who don’t help her deal with her own issues; instead, they exacerbate them.

You know I love a good dysfunctional family, and this book certainly had that. Joan’s character’s beliefs don’t jibe with mine, and sometimes her flakiness is irritating, but you can’t look away from her. However, this book was billed as Fleabag meets The Royal Tenenbaums, and I didn’t see that at all. But it’s still a well-written debut.

“What is the feeling that tells any of us, even after we’re grown-up and know better—know it’s likely that they’ll hurt us, maim us, leave us flayed open—to check in with the people with whom we share DNA?”

I’ve said this before, but I cannot get enough books about family dynamics and dysfunction. Relationships that fray and knit themselves together—often multiple times—are fascinating to read about. (Much less fascinating to live through, of course.)

When the Kenner family matriarch dies unexpectedly, all four of their adult children convene at their parents’ home in Florida. Jenn, the oldest, is a wife and mother who is always there to take care of everyone—even if she resents it. Fred is adrift; she’s a writer who has lost the ability to write and is at odds with many of the people in her life.

The youngest, George, is sad about the end of his marriage but has other issues to deal with. And Jude, the narrator, has flown in from NYC, and must deal with the fact that she hasn’t spoken to Fred—once her favorite sister—in several years.

As with any family gathering, there are plenty of secrets everyone has kept hidden, hurts and resentments they’ve tried to forget, and at least a handful of fond memories to lean on. But there are also big questions to be answered, particularly what went wrong between Fred and Jude, and why did their mother keep a gun in her underwear drawer?

This book was really well-written; there were many quotes I noted. My issue was that I didn’t find the characters particularly sympathetic, particularly Fred, and she’s the character most of the book focuses on.