Doc 320

This from RedState is just icing on the cake.

I first saw this on Facebook

Sorry for the lack of posting lately, but some life things intervened and whatever I have that resembles a muse just up and flew away for a while. I saw this at Tam's and had to share it. I hope to post more in the future. Update: Corrected Typo.

Got this from Laura W. at Ace's . She didn't know how to embed it and neither do I, so here's the link. I got quite a laugh out of it.

wireless and broadband deployment grant programs

(including transfer of funds to Doc G. for the Doc G. Personal Economic Stimulus Program)

For necessary and unnecessary expenses related to the Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs established by section 6002 of division B of this Act, $2,825,000,000, of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for Wireless Deployment Grants and $1,825,000,000 shall be for Broadband Deployment Grants: Provided, That an additional $350,000,000 shall be paid directly to Doc G. in the form of subsidized loans that do not require repayment. Provided Further, That the funds be used by Doc G. to avoid economic catrastrophe and to be well armed for all eventualities or for whatever. Provided Even Further, That Doc G. will receive free Guy Clark tickets for life. Provided Even Further Still, That Doc G. shall be treated as a cabinet-level appointment for the purpose of income tax reporting, and therefore no taxes shall be paid on any of the aformentioned benefits. And one more thing: Arlen Specter is hereby expelled from Congress, effective immediately upon enactment.

I got this from an e-mail:


Stimulus Chicago Style



Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One
is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.



The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring,
then works some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says, "I figure the job
will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit
for me."



The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says,
"I can do this job for $800: $350 for materials, $350 for my crew and $100
profit for me."



The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the
White House official and whispers, "$2,800."



The official asks, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you
come up with such a high figure?



The Chicago contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we
hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."



"Done!" replies the White House official. And that is how the new stimulus
plan will work.

Answer:
Princess
Diana's
death.

Question:
How come?
Answer:
An
English princess
with an
Egyptian boyfriend

crashes
in a French tunnel,
driving a

German
car

with a
Dutch engine,

driven
by a Belgian

who was
drunk

on
Scottish whisky,

(check the bottle before you
change the spelling),

followed
closely by

Italian
Paparazzi,

on
Japanese motorcycles;

treated
by an American doctor,
using

Brazilian
medicines.

This is
sent to you by

an
American,

using
Bill Gates's technology,

and
you're probably reading
this on your computer,

that
uses Taiwanese chips,
and

a

Korean
monitor,

assembled
by

Bangladeshi
workers

in a
Singapore plant,

transported
by Indian

lorry-drivers,

hijacked
by Indonesians,

unloaded by
Sicilian longshoremen,

and
trucked to you by Mexican illegals....

.

.

.

.

.

That, my friends,
is Globalization!

Did you ever wonder what is on the other side of Mt. Rushmore?