One of the best parts of running the Underdark Wars game has been watching all of these really creative players come up with these complex ideas and fantastic insults. As the game goes along I'm compiling what they're writing to make it easy for everyone who comes along to read where they're going and what they're experiencing - because those sorts of records largely don't exist for any of our games, and this style of game really lends itself to a broader narrative.

Right now we're in the middle of a vote on opening up the Underdark Wars Community to the wider public so everyone can follow along as it goes. Spectators will have their own area where they can talk about the game, cheer on their favorites, and help stoke the flames of war.  

And because I've been having so much fun reading their trash talking I've collected everything so you cats who didn't have a chance to join in are able to see what you're missing! Hope you enjoy it as much as I have!



“5.6 b naturally. Only we'll use the sneaky version this time.” – Mark Van Vlack (Duergar)

“Your plans will not matter while Nick Foster and I are feasting on your dwarven brains. It's quite a bit of work getting through the thick skulls for the tiny morsel inside.” – Jim Haltom (Mind Flayer)

“Correction ‘Duergar’ skulls, not our weaker surface loving cousins. As to the morsel you speak of will be foul and bitter, it contains only hate.” – Mark Van Vlack (Duergar)

“I don’t know what the hells going on here but I want in . . . Come to me spider queen in this time of great chaos!! May the world know your greatness at the hands of your faithful children, the TRUE rulers of the Underdark!” – Jarrod Shaw (Drow)



“There are only grudges.” – Mark Van Vlack (Duergar)

“For you, there is only despair #slurpslurp” – Nick Foster (Mind Flayer)



“There is no revenge for slaves. #slurpslurp” – Nick Foster (Mind Flayer)



“Dwarves make good slaves and precious little else. #slurpslurp” -- Nick Foster (Mind Flayer)




“What an eye-sore. Wakka, wakka, wakka!” – Mike Davison (Svirfneblin)

“You would do well to mind your tongue, gnome. The Far Realm is here. #slurpslurp” – Nick Foster (Mind Flayer)







“Hurumph!” – Mark Van Vlack (Duergar)

“Thems fighting words if I've ever seen 'em!” – Charles Akins (Referee)

“Duergar attend only to the stone and those who should dwell within it. The Ithalid seem better suited to an aquarium, hardly a concern.” – Mark Van Vlack (Duergar)

“Concern yourselves with the stone, for it will be less that you have to work on when the Illithid emerge victorious. Be sure to make my chambers comfortable dwarf.” – Jim Haltom (Mind Flayer)

“I see you do not dare mention the might Beholders! That is wise, for we love calamares.” – Anders Nordberg (Beholder)

“The Far Realm is here.” – Nick Foster (Mind Flayer)

“Totally beat me to the Calamari reference ! .. DAMN YOU BEHOLDERS!” -- Mark Van Vlack (Duergar)

“Your pitiful holds will be washed away in a wave of slime and madness, gormless mortals that you are. #slurpslurp” – Nick Foster (Mind Flayer)







“In the Far Realm, stone is aqueous as the sweat from your pores. Tremble! The Far Realm is here! #slurpslurp” -- Nick Foster (Mind Flayer)

“Stone is for coffins - you should know to be afraid of what is within the coffin, not the inanimate stone - silly stunted insect. We march North to fill your coffins with your maggots and pay the ancient debts.” – Gus L. (Drow)

Here's an updated Underdark Wars Map with the locations gridded out and given alphabet denotations. There are 40 locations to be conquered not including the 12 starting locations. The advance begin very, very shortly!

I'm over clarifying some rules questions in the Community so if you're looking for some answers I'll be about.

The Beholders

The three of you (+Anders Nordberg,  +edchuk sockmonkey,  and Tom) represent the entirety of the Beholder Kingdoms! At this point the Kingdom is equally divided amongst each and it will be up to you whether these forces combine their efforts to destroy the filth cluttering your dark landscape or wage a bloody civil war.

The Drow

The mighty and proud kingdom of the Drow has chosen three to lead them into the coming war: +Andrew Davis, +Gus L, and +Jarrod Shaw! Will you unite under a single banner and crush the vile opposition or will you let your kingdom's tradition of intrigue and fratricide brake you into a civil war with each seeking to destroy the other?

The Duergar

Deep within the halls of the mighty Duergar the drums of war have begun to sound as two generals have been chosen to lead their people against the foul machinations of their neighbors: +James Aulds and +Mark Van Vlack! Will these two generals unite their forces to grind their enemies beneath their heels or will the allure of power drive a wedge between them and cause them to paint the halls of their fathers with the blood of their brothers?

The Mind Flayers

From across the endless realms of the multiverse and the infinite expanse of space the Old Ones have stirred from their slumbers and awakened two of the Elder Brains with a single thought, "The time is at hand!" Now these two have brought the kingdom under their control and have divided their forces between their cities. Will +Jim Haltom and +Nick Foster be able to work together to crack the skulls of these  lesser kingdoms or will they be driven mad by the whispers of the Old Ones and wage war against one and another?

The Svirfneblin

The rock trembles with the heavy footsteps of marching soldiers outside the halls of the deep gnomes. War has come to the Underdark again, and this one will not avoided. The Svirfneblin have sharpened their blades and have left their holds; led by two of their greatest generals: +Mike Davison and the Shadowplay! Will these generals be able to teach their enemies the meaning of fear, or will they fall to bickering and destroy each other before their enemies even have the chance?

Click to make larger.

This is the starting map for the Underdark Wars!

Due to my scanner crapping out on me I elected to modify an existing map and use it for our first game (you can see the original here). I'm sending out everyone's starting troop levels over the next 24 hours and we will officially begin the first round on Wednesday morning with the Beholders (+Anders Nordberg, +edchuk sockmonkey, and tom, in that order). Since tom is connected through e-mail I'll be sending each of his Kingdom fellows his e-mail so that each of them can directly contact him; though I would ask that you guys key me in so that I can keep up with what's going on.

Good luck to all our players! And remember that we have a Google+ Community available for everybody!