Brain Twitch

The story of Zaccheus is probably one of the more well known Bible stories. If you are like me, the image of a rich little man (Because the song calls him a "wee little man" I always picture him as a Scottish Leprechaun) immediately pops into your head when you read it. We also think of Jesus' mission of salvation as he enters the home of a hated man instead of some righteous folk. But as I was reading this story again I began to wonder about how much Zaccheus must have fallen in love with Jesus.

In the story we see an almost instant change in Zac. He announces in Luke 19:8 that he will give half of his possessions to the poor and repay anyone he has cheated 4 times the amount. (Yes, I believe that the first promise is something he wanted to do as a result of his encounter with Jesus and that he was not merely stating something he had already been doing.)I also believe that he had indeed cheated many people because otherwise he probably would not have brought it up.

I have always thought that this was a terrific gesture but that Zac was probably still pretty well off financially. But if we think about it, maybe Zac underwent a serious change in financial status. First, he gives away half of everything he has which immediately cuts his net worth in half. Maybe that didn't make much difference to his everyday life. We hear from time to time about rich people like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet giving away most of their fortunes. I applaud their giving but I doubt it has much of an impact on their standard of living.

Nevertheless, giving away half his net worth does make a difference when you consider his next pledge of paying back anyone he has cheated four fold, the amount required by Roman law for cheating tax collectors. Tax collectors were despised by the general population because it was well known they were cheats. Zac brings up the issue himself so he had, no doubt, also amassed his fortune in this way. That's a lot of cheating which means a lot of repaying. And he had to repay it out of a fortune that has just been cut in half. He probably hadn't made a four-fold increase on what he had taken so that means he would be in a severe deficit.

What I am trying to say is that Zac very well could have put himself in the poor house with his pledge and yet he seems happy to do it. That's an incredible change. He met Jesus while wearing nice clothes and watched Jesus leave his house while wearing rags. He may have paid a heavy price. And yet we get the sense that it was totally worth it just to be in relationship with Jesus.

I think it is worth it too. But thinking about this story makes me wonder how much that fact has transformed my thinking.

Jesus summed up 613 laws with just two. Love God and love others. Most Christians know this very well. I try to proclaim this every Sunday morning in one form or another. I think this is the absolute core of everything we should be about. But do we get it.

I'm in love. I'm in love with my wife. I remember first falling in love with her and the giddy feeling I felt in those early days. Our love grew and matured and changed over the years but it is still great. Giddy gave way to a little less expressive but even deeper inner joy. After nearly 25 years of marriage her voice still brings a smile to my face and a sense of excitement to my whole being. I love being in love with her. I've invested a ton into our relationship and it is very dear to me.

I love Jesus. I fell in love with him when I was 6 years old. I can remember the giddy feeling at the beginning of our relationship. This relationship is different than the one with my wife though. Obviously there is not an eros component to it but even more drastically, I am the only one in this relationship whose love grows and matures and changes over time. But I have invested a lot in it and it is very dear to me.

A few years ago I began being more intentional about thinking about God's love for me. I can't really go into the process of it all but whenever I do it I get a similar feeling. I feel incredibly loved.

But I want to grow deeper in my love for God. I was looking at my book shelves and I've found very little help. A few offer practices that are intended to help of which only a few I think actually work. (More on those in a minute.) But most of the advice are just exercises that can be done by anyone and have very little to do with growing in our love for God. And that's a big problem.

In fact most of our church activity doesn't require a relationship with God at all. Sometimes people are surprised to learn that there are a lot of Bible scholars in the world that do not believe in God. The fact is that learning about God does not require that we be in love with God. We do a lot of kind deeds for people but again, those can be done by anyone. They don't require a relationship with God.

I recently read a suggested mission and vision statement that came out of a conference. All the point that were made in both documents were excellent. But then I asked if a relationship with God was really necessary to accomplish this mission and vision and the answer was no. Granted I don't know why anyone would do those things if they weren't in love with God but I don't think it would be a requirement. Maybe that would be a good screening question. Do we need to be in love with God to accomplish this mission and vision?

I actually think there are a lot of people like that. They believe in God, they are moral people, they do good works, and they even pray with the best of intentions. But I'm not sure they actually have a relationship with God and that is a fatal flaw in their faith.

So how do we develop our love for God? The only suggestions that I thought actually worked were those that helped establish communication with God. Journaling, writing letters, meditating, and conversational prayer seemed to push me toward a loving relationship. I also think that stories about other people's relationship with God are also helpful. This would include biblical characters like Abraham, Moses, David, Paul, and most of the Old Testament prophets. (Try reading the prophets to learn about their relationship with God rather than Israel's sin a time or two.) It would also include non-biblical characters like Augustine, Brother Lawrence, Francis of Assisi and a number of more contemporary people.

In the end I always come back to this: How do I answer the question, "What does Jesus mean to me?" If I can only answer that question with doctrinal statements I think I am in trouble. (Salvation, Cross, Risen, Lord, etc.) In fact if that's where my mind first goes I'm probably missing the boat. I think a description of a loving relationship needs to be at the core.