I was thinking about my family the past few days and realized that we only have Sweetie's Dad left. We're almost orphans now. My siblings are also mostly abroad, so it's just us. I have my cousins, but they all live in other cities. We both don't have relatives where we live, but we have a lot of friends I grew up with in the neighborhood. 

My stupor changed when I realized I should be grateful. We have additions in the family! My cousin and niece gave birth in the past two months. I have a kalokalike who was born last year (poor baby, I hope she didn't get my temperament!). We lost our parents, titos and titas in the past decade, but our family continues to grow. My pamangkins are also set to marry in the coming months. 

I'm set to make this month different. We will finish fixing our living room and dining room so we can have friends over. My boys are having their birthdays this month. We haven't planned anything yet and just playing it by ear for now. I'm still trying to gauge whether I could muster up the strength to entertain, haha. Well, we'll see. I do want to celebrate though. 

I'm also grateful that we have our cat family. They've been a joy. The cat distribution system gave us six stay-in cats plus 2 who come in and out. They have been living harmoniously, except when Brimsley is having a bad day. She seems to have forgotten about her kittens and doesn't want them near her. She's allowed us to pet her lately and rubs against Miggy's legs often. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

We've been watching Young Sheldon for awhile now. I'm really glad it's on Netflix already. I had previously watched parts of it whenever I traveled (SQ ftw!). We re-started watching from season 1 and one of the really cute episodes was when George brough Missy for a daddy daughter date. She even dressed as a princess. 

Pasacao, 70s.

The episode reminded me of my daddy-daughter dates with my Dad. We would usually head to Quad and eat at his favorite restaurant, Ling Nam. He would usually get beef noodles and siopao. At that time I was still very picky with what I eat, so I would eat the siopao skin. Daddy didn't like it and I'd eat it. We did that until I eventually appreciated eating the whole siopao. 

Those dates extended to indulgences. It was Dad who bought me my very first cassette tape, Michael Jackson's Thriller album! Eventually I discovered McDonald's. Mom never allowed me to buy happy meals, but Dad would always indulge me. On Sundays, Dad would always buy me a Twin Popsies after hearing mass.

Fond core memories I treasure. Sweetie gives me the skin of his siopao whenever we eat. I still eat Twin Popsies whenever it's available (I think they call it Twin Pops now). I just got an orange one the other day from Makati Supermart. It used to be one of our go-to places when it was still in Makati. Dad and I would usually exit the supermart whenever Mom took so long and we'd eat spaghetti there. 

Miss you Dad <3

Happy EDSA Anniversary! 

#BeKind #StaySafe

While preparing macaroni salad yesterday, Sweetie started to play the piano. He began with "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". I started to tear up because it's one of Mom's favorite Christmas songs. She would always listen to a radio station that only played songs from their era. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" always played on that station and Mom would increase the volume. 

This is the first Christmas we're celebrating without Mom. December had always been a busy month for us since Mom, Tito Tony, Kuya Koko and Tito Ben would celebrate their birthdays. Then there's Kuya and Ate Joy's anniversary, plus our wedding anniversary. Since we got home we'd always celebrate Mom's birthday with her favorite food. And there has to be cake. She preferred celebrating at home than going out. Then there would be noche buena, Christmas day and media noche and New Year.

Last Christmas with Mom.

Last year, it was very hard to convince Mom to celebrate her birthday and Christmas. She was just not in the mood for it. She still came to hear mass with us and eat, but her mood was very different. It was very unusual since she loved to eat especially if you provided her favorite drink, Coca Cola (original only please). 

And now she's gone. She would want us to celebrate as usual, so that's why I broke down preparations for noche buena across two days. Didn't buy any softdrinks since she's the only one who drinks it. We didn't get any gifts for ourselves since we got busy with me being hospitalized and recovery. We only got gifts for our support teams. I told family and friends I'm a month delayed with my to-do list, so gifts were affected. What's important anyway is we have each other. 

Just celebrating at home (as usual). No get togethers for now since I'm still recovering, plus it's too risky to go out. Hopefully, the boys will be happy with our noche buena spread. I'm cooking enough food so we have leftovers until Christmas day. 

Merry Christmas everyone. 

#BeKind #StaySafe

When my Dad passed away, Mom told me, "Ganyan talaga ang buhay." I cried harder because I also remembered other loved ones who passed away. It was hard and I wondered how Mom could be so matter of fact. She handled loss very well and was our pillar when Dad passed away. She did everything efficiently while I kept bawling my eyes out. 

After losing Dad, my titos and tita followed one year after another. It reinforced what Mom told me. It's a life cycle. She faced loss with so much grace and dignity. Mom continued to be steadfast and strong. I learned from her how to accept loss. 

We all go through grief differently. The first two months after Mom died I was very unmotivated and unproductive. By the third month I realized I had to start moving. I focused on our family's health. We spent every week in the hospital for consultations and tests. The boys did PT and I'm soon going to start pulmonary rehab. 

I worked on our health because I realized I have to get going in order to meet my main goal. I retired because I want to be able to make more happy memories with my boys. We've been spending majority of our time just home and I want to be able to do things for them like cook and do my share of house chores. And I hope we can step out of the house every so often. 

Live and make more happy memories. That's what my parents would want me to do. 

Happy Sunday everyone!

We moved to our new home yesterday! This is the final phase of our transition back home. As usual, we're scrambling to find things we need in the boxes that arrived the other day. It's part of the fun of moving to a new home. Sweetie and I learned a few things last year when we moved. We ended up going through a maze of boxes to find beddings and bed clothes. This time around we made a list! 

We always wanted to live in a house. It was our dream from the beginning. Circumstances though had us move from one place to another in the past 12 years. Doing that eventually made us yearn to find a permanent home. The past three years our past time was to look at property listings and watch Presello vids. We would look at the houses and assess whether it would fit our needs. 

Welcome home Stormtrooper!

We knew we had outgrown our first owned home. SLEX was also nearby and the pollution forced us to keep all the windows closed. We were also worried about living in the condo because there were several COVID-19 case surges at our place. We saw a few places that we found interesting, but we really wanted to go back to the place where I grew up. 

When things are really meant to be, God will make a way. In late June, I saw the listing again. The price was reduced by 16%. Still too pricey I thought, so I moved on and tried looking for another place. Then I saw the listing again listed by a friend, Ate Maya. I've known her since I was a teenager since she's my choir mate. I pinged her and asked about the house. After some negotiations to further reduce the price, several family meetings and a gazillion prayers, we got the place!

The funny thing is Sweetie and I only saw our new home after we got home and finished our quarantine. How crazy is that noh? Yes, it was really a crazy decision, but we felt it was the right decision for our family. We prayed hard for a permanent home and finally found it. God really leads you to where He wants you to be. :)

P.S. We slept on the floor, haha.

#Home31 #NewG215 #Xmas21 #StayHome #BeKind   

We became empty nesters in late 2019 when Miggy decided to go back home after graduating. We felt lost for a long time. I remember Sweetie and I would stay out as late as we could to avoid going back to an empty home. It was hard and was probably one of the reasons why I had to take a break back then. 

We tried to extend Miggy's visa when he brought me back to Singapore in 2020. The government became stricter though and he ended up going home in late February. He went home just before the lockdown started. Thus started the 22 month time apart. It literally broke me. 

For almost two years we subsisted with daily check-ins via chat. We tried to make it fun by outdoing each other with good night memes. What we missed most were the hugs and Miggy would tuck us in at night and turn off our lights. We had a lot of mundane family rituals which was important to all of us. 

Now that we're back home we just automatically started doing our daily rituals. We were definitely not ready when Miggy left the nest in 2019 and being apart because of the pandemic made things worse. Now I'm thinking, maybe the extreme stress from work and being apart is what made me sick. My doctors warned me that going home does not mean I'm going to get well instantly. I know that. I think half the battle is making my family complete again. 

Good thing Miggy missed us too! Haha. Things are settling nicely at home. I have made progress with cleaning up the kitchen. I can start cooking again soon. I hope the La Germania service crew can fix my stove. Also need to have our sliding door locks fixed since the heat broke it again. We got our tiny place 8 years ago and this is the first time we're living in it permanently. There's a lot of things here and there that needs fixing. 

1. Get professional cleaners to help every so often. We also get the mattresses and couch cleaned. 

2. When appliances break down, it's best to course the service request through the brand service center. It's been so far easy to get help by booking for help online, i.e. La Germania, Carrier. 

3. If you live in a condo, it helps to be nice to the staff. We had a gazillion luggages when we arrived and we bumped into the maintenance crew. They willingly helped us bring everything up. They've also been helpful to Miggy the whole time we were away. If you have a good relationship with the maintenance crew they can also help with disposing pre-loved items. 

And on the food front, here's what I had yesterday -

Quickmelt cheese and Lady's Choice mayonnaise combo sandwich - I initially freaked out when I learned about this from my busmate. I fell in love with it when I tried it. Super missed it since Quickmelt is hard to find in SG. 

McDonald's spaghetti! 

Army Navy hungarian sausage. We're still doing the rounds of ordering food we've missed. Will start cooking next week hehe. 

The best merienda though was the kutsinta we bought from our neighbor. For the first time we didn't have an kakanin leftovers! Haha. 

Annnddd my first Shopee purchase was Serioso Chili Garlic! Heehee. Try it gais!

#Home10 #NewG234 #Xmas42 #StayHome #BeKind  

Oh how I miss my family and our food adventures. The kids though are all grown up now. Some have started their own families. I guess I was feeling a bit lonely last night because it's almost two years since I've seen family. 

It was a good thing I was able to have two family reunions before I headed back to Singapore last year. Got to meet my cousin's bf-now-fiance. My tita from Australia was also in town. I also got to meet my cousin's apo from the US. It was a great pre-pandemic good memories pabaon. 

I'm really so relieved that my doctor allowed me to get vaccinated. I was facing the possibility of living a hermit life and that thought was depressing. I experienced the usual symptoms post-vaxx, but that's okay at least now I'm protected. That also means we could probably have mini-reunions when things get better. 

And hopefully see my nephews and nieces again soon. 

CB///*Yr2/167 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/190 #NewG280 #Home39 #Xmas91 #StayHome #BeKind

To be honest, I never dreamt of moving to another country. It was never in my plan. It happened at the insistence of my former managers. I was able to enjoy it only when my family moved to Singapore. My dream life is just to be with my family. Ideally I want everyone to be within physical reach. I say that because my family is scattered across the globe. 

So my dream life is to be back home, have a home with enough space to have get-togethers with family and friends, have time and energy to create more memories and be able to help where I can. My prayer every night is to be safe, secure, healthy and blessed. 

"It's never too late to focus on your dreams."

CB///*Yr2/84 #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/111 #NewG362 #Home136 #StayHome #BeKind 

One of my nephews also got engaged and will be tying the knot later this year. I have another cousin who's about to give birth. Happy news makes me feel so grateful that my family has been healthy and secure in the past year. 

The news made me realize that life goes on. We all have our challenges. It's just up to us how to adjust to the trials. We can't just sulk at home and wait for the pandemic to end. I expect it's going to be a long time before things go back to what it was before. I wish though I could be at the life-changing events of my family when it happens. 

Congratulations and best wishes Chris and Precious! 

CB///*Yr2/65  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/92 #StayHome #BeKind 

Sundays will always be family days. I remember when I was a child we'd hear mass on Sundays. My Dad would always buy me ice cream after hearing mass. Then we'd go home for lunch. Things changed when I became active in our church and our choir would serve on Saturdays and Sundays. My family expanded then and we'd spend weekends together. 

I super miss my choir family. In the last decade I've only been able to see them sparingly. Last time I saw them was in 2019. We had a get-together at my Mom's place and I surprised Papa Ray when I flew in to be in his birthday party. 

Things have changed so much. Most of us have our own families. A number of us moved to other countries. Some are still back home, still serving. I look forward to the day I could go back home and continue serving. And I look forward to the day we can all be together again just like old times. 

CB///Yr2/15  #StuckAtHomeDay/Yr2/42 #StayHome #BeKind