Recent reviews by Vitlöksbjörn

So what is it that makes a writer good? Well, same as what makes a, say, chef, good. If you wanna eat the food made by them, then they're probably a good chef. Same with a writer. If you want to keep reading what they wrote, they're probably good.

What makes a writer great, then? To use our chef analogy again, their food not only tastes great, but it also makes you feel good after eating it. It's done carefully and with respect to the fact that the food will have to pass through your body and provide nourishment. So a good writer will produce something that will be engaging to read, but it will also leave you with a lasting feeling.

So... what makes a writer exceptional? This is debatable, but, again, an exceptional chef would probably be able to do all of the previous things, but in multiple cooking styles and disciplines. No matter what you throw at them, they'll produce a bona fide feast out of it. Likewise, an exceptional writer is one that can produce engaging, touching writing - in any format or genre they choose.

They can weave beautifully in flowery, almost elvish prose, and suddenly cut the cr@p and punch yo in ur face like an angry teen, throw in som slang showin their street cred and then make it look like its some emo kid's sad blog from 2003. And then carefully, systematically retract their steps and give you dry, information-rich text that reads like a research paper.

Golden Treasure: The Great Green does just that. It is written by an exceptional writer.

Yes, it's about being a dragon. Is that good or bad? It really shouldn't matter. Unless you utterly hate the idea of being a dragon, this story will take you anyway, purely with the strength of its writing - and the admittedly interesting mechanics. The art has this fairy tale book quality to it and works really well. And, of course, the worldbuilding: it's both familiar and fresh. As any bloody story worth its salt should be.

No, I'm not going to elaborate. This story could've been about anything and it wouldn't have changed a thing. Excellent writing is excellent writing. It might be a little bit heady and long winded at times, but look at you, reading this review. This shouldn't be a problem for you.

It is a visual novel, but it's also far more than a visual novel - there's a proper battle system, even. It really doesn't matter what I say. You owe it to yourself to try this one - listen to the Kin in your heart. Your father is the Sun, your mother is the Earth. As it's always been.

Rejoice.

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Ever played Go? It is said that artists tend to be excellent players even without understanding the game, because they choose moves that are the most "beautiful" - and these tend to be the most correct ones. Unlike in chess, where everything can be calculated and predicted with perfect accuracy, it's a game that can (even must) be vibed out. Go is a "right-brain" game, while chess is a "left-brain" one.

Puzzle games tend to be very "left-brain". Mathematical, logical, and so on. I mean, can you imagine a "right-brain" kind of puzzle game? About emotions, vibes, words? Turns out you don't have to imagine it, because here it is.

Like a proper puzzle game, it never explains anything ever, but instead it teaches you through examples and patterns. The patterns themselves might follow rules of logic, but the solution usually requires you to play with... whatever you're given. I can't really expand here, figuring this stuff out is part of the game.

Also, if you ever played Antichamber, this is like Antichamber 2: The Good Edition. Let's be honest, Antichamber never was a particularly good game, but the non-euclidean environment and the vague messaging of self-improvement was nice at the time. So this removes the self-help, changes the nature of the puzzles and keeps the non-euclidean geometries and here we go. It works!

Every once in a while you find something like a challenge chamber - it tests your understanding of a concept, and if you get all the puzzles done, you're awarded with a title (aka achievement). I thought the game is quite challenging, but actually a surprisingly high number of people have some really tough to get achievements! Maybe it's because I'm not a native speaker so it's naturally a little harder for me, or maybe it's because people use guides, who knows. Or maybe it's because the game is actually pretty good and lots of people power through it despite the difficulties!

30% of players have the "beat the game" achievement. There's still more to find there, and I'll likely keep playing because of how huge this game is; took me 15 hours to get there, I did not use any guides, but I did think together with a friend on a part, and they really helped me see something I had issues with (thanks, Crows!). Oh, and there is a hint system, but it's hidden and limited. Still, it was enough for me.

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Finality. True and absolute finality. Finality so perfect, there is no observer to be aware of it. There never will be an observer to ascertain it. An Eye will never open to see the grandest of all existential nightmares come to life and reign for the most eternal of Eternities that could ever be. Inevitable. Do you understand?

I really, really, really hope that you do not. But this game might give you a taste of it.

I played a lot of games in my life. And Outer Wilds is one of the select few that permanently impacted the way I see the world. As such, it's easy to completely forget the smaller excellences of its design. Wood spacepunk aesthetic! Marshmallows and banjo on the surface of the Moon! Wonderfully tight world design - large, yet everything exists for a reason. And, of course, an establishment of an entire genre of a puzzle game.

What, you want me to clarify? Pfff. Go play the game. I might be a sinner, but my sins are against gods, not men. I won't take that pleasure from you.

Just one question to ponder: If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Does it? Can you truly know?

Don't ask me. I just review games.

(oh, and get the DLC only after beating the game)

Fantasy. What does that word even mean. Shorthand for people with swords, tall nobles with pointy ears called elves, bulky humans with green skin called orcs, yadda yadda. Give me something actually fantastical. A world where everybody's born with a second head sticking out of their left shoulder. A world where all living beings are three dimentional projections of some kind of incomprehensible divinity. A world where time doesn't flow forward, so everybody's constantly readjusting all events and history is a consensus sequence. Come on, it can't be that hard to be actually creative, right?

Oh, the world is a impossibly huge decaying superstructure that people have been trying to escape for millions of years? Yes, now we're talking. This is fantasy. Good. Finally. Let's go.

Thank f*ck the game's quite competent, too. I mean, Technowitches aren't born, they're self-forged, and the expertise shows. In many ways the game can be compared to the original Half-Life: combat is relatively simplistic, but will kick your asuru if you just stand and shoot. But you shouldn't play this game for its combat; you can essentially trivialise it out of existence and play the game as a walking sim. You shouldn't do that either - but you can, if you want.

It's all about the environment. It's striking to look at, fun to explore, and has this masterful balance of feeling huge while actually being quite streamlined. Just like in Half Life. There's a lot of hidden lore that fleshes out a lot of the world, but you'll always feel like you barely scratched the surface of this reality. And that's just as well: you're a nomad. A wanderer. This journey is but one of many.

That's really all there is to say. 64% of players beat the game. If you like being really thorough with exploration, there are some rare achievements you can get for entering some nicely hidden places, one of them has been found by only 10% of people. I don't think it's that hard to find if you're used to boomershooter-style secret hunting, but hey, just putting it out there.

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Not gonna lie, not a huge fan of typing games. But the concept was just too tempting for me to ignore. Something about dead letters, messages stuck in limbo for one reason or another, is just... delicious. And, since this is also a mystery game... how could you say no?

I went in completely blind. Don't know what I expected, but my expectations definitely got exceeded.

It's the kind of refined horror that doesn't need to rely on jumpscares, but instead has this slow creep of unease that makes you wonder: how much worse can things get?

Now, you're probably wondering: how can you turn the concept of dead letters into such dread? Yeah, you're on your own on this one. I also was wondering what exactly is happening and why, but since this is also a mystery game with multiple endings, answering these questions is part of the game. And here's the part that I complain about stuff.

For one thing, you're allowed to save the game -once-. Thank the stars there's an option to disable this limitation, but still - it showcases a certain design philosophy. Sure, horror games hit the hardest when you don't have the safety of a save system - there's an expectation that you'll mostly play through the entire thing in one go - but it's going to take you some 2 hours. I don't know, that's a lil off.

And second, to actually crack the case as it were, you have to make a certain realisaiton. I pride myself on being smarty pants smart boi oh my im so smort ehehe and for the most part it's close enough to the truth, but I actually didn't make this realisation by myself, had to stumble upon it after my first playthrough. Take that for what you will. My partner often tells me I overcomplicate things so who knows, maybe this is like that.

Since the game only has one save, once you beat the game once, you have to start all over from the beginning to get a different ending. But it's not as bad as it sounds. Many things change between playthroughs (including the letters, for the most part), and even some of the atmospheric creep changes in flavour, which I found quite refreshing. And there's another fun reason why replaying the game might be cool actually, but that's related to that realisation, so I'll stop here.

Oh, and you probably need to be a decent typist: there are random mechanics that test your skills. I felt challenged but not threatened: but I do a lot of typing in my life. If you grew up with a smartphone or only got into gaming recently and haven't yet earned a black belt in keyboard-fu, you might struggle.

32% of players reached the most obvious ending, 9% of players reached the "true" ending. Not the best, not the worst result, considering it's a ~3 hour game. Still, good fun, good mystery, good design. Play at night with lights off and headphones on for best result. I promise, you'll be j̸u̷st fi̶̡̢̧̛̝͍̫͇̤̪͚̬̳̺̤̳̜̭̥̜̱̝̭͖̥̤̜̐͌́͒̔͌͂̍̆͗̂̓̾̀͂̇͒̈́̈́́̿͘͘̚͜͠͝͝n̵̮͖̞̯̳̭͇̹̟̟̰̭̝̠͓̲̋͜e̵̺̖̫̲͍̩̅̒̋͛̊̏͐͊͛̒̐̓̌̄́̔̔̂͗̏̀̾̀̈̃̚͝.̷̢̼͓̻̼̼͉̥̘͖̬̦͍̮̠̰͇̞̌̉͑̽̎̎̈̀̐̐͒̏̄̒̄̒̔͘͝

dead reviewę̸̥͙̻͓̏̌̽͊̂̃̀̉̾͑͋͑͂̆̕͘͝ŕ̶̢̧̛̯̮̥̩̲̰̪̮̆̈̎͒̾́̇͌̒̐̂̊ͅ department

A few days before playing this, I went to get groceries in the middle of the night and inexplicably decided to buy some peppermint-flavoured liquor to down before bed. I left it on my kitchen counter and promptly forgot about it... only to remember roughly 40 minutes after launching this. Peppermint liquor tastes roughly like mouthwash. I downed the entire bottle in one go.

Revolting. Just like this game.

You know that shot from AKIRA? With the motorcycle stopping sideways, moving away from the camera? You probably know the shot without even knowing it's from there. It's an iconic, groundbreaking shot. Games rarely have things like those. MOUTHWASHING has two.

Or more, depending on your definition of groundbreaking. Maybe it was the mouthwash peppermint liquor dulling my senses, or maybe the game simply isn't as potent in the latter half - both can be true simultaneously; but by then, the game stopped making me feel uncomfortable and went straight into fight-or-flight response territory. Like a proper Psychological Horror should.

There's also this thing that people who read just as much as they game say - "game stories are only great to you because you don't read books" or something. I'm inclined to agree... but recently, we got some games that actually increase the narrative quality levels to be on par with written fiction. And MOUTHWASHING confidently enters this prestigous club.

Although let's be real for a moment. While great, it kind of reuses its own tricks in the latter half, and the final stretch is... eh. To (mis)quote my cat, "this game is ironically best when it has no gameplay". Which is not to say that this is one of these wannabe movie "cinemantic experiences" - it's just that some things work better than others here. I don't have a cat.

To be honest with you, I'm one of those insufferable hipsters who scoff at anything popular or well known; not because I'm a misanthropic piece of sh*t, but because experience has taught me that my tastes and the public's tastes rarely align. I got this game as a gift (you put the "pal" in "napalm" my friend), and I'm very glad I did, because in this case the game really is just that good. 74% of players beat it, which is beyond insane.

Just a word of caution. This isn't one of these games that works extra hard to ensure you remember and understand everything by drilling stuff into your head with flashbacks and redundant dialogue. It expects you to have a modicum of people skills, being able to extrapolate hidden meanings from context, body language and other such subtleties. You don't need it to beat the game, but many things might seem completely random if you can't read the room. Although if you've read this all the way through, I suspect you don't need to worry about that.

I hope this hurts.

madness

Ah yes. A cheerful, hopeful early 20s woman and her mysterious, brooding "friend". Yes, we've all seen the Manic Pixie Dream Girl done to death at this point, so might as well-

What's this? You're the Girl this time? Yeah, but that's not exactly-

Memory problems? Well, cute quirky clumsiness has often been a way to endear such-

Oh, they're so severe she has to rely on notes? I think there was a show like this-

The notes have clearly been manipulated by someone? Okay, I give up. You win. This is actually getting really interesting, especially when combined with the aesthetic and the flavour of writing.

I'd call this game a deconstruction of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl - but it does more with the concept than just deconstructs it, and I'll leave it at that. It has a very interesting relationship with its dual nature as a cozy game and as a horror game: normally in such games coziness is merely a tool to make the horror hit harder (this adorable character will totally die horribly). But this is not the case here, and... I kinda love it. A lot.

Yes, the world is dark. Yes, there are monsters about. Yes, there's pain, abuse, all sorts of internal struggles powered by societal expectations. But giving in to all of that is kinda passe. You can weather the storm of nightmares all the while you decorate your shelter with cute little flowers and plushies. To some it might be a sign of immaturity, but you know better:

That's how you remain true to yourself. That's the way you choose to view the world.

Because under the cover of horrifying night, a bunch of rabbits are cuddled together in a dark hole under a tree, and it's adorable. The shining eyes of a hunting beast in fact belong to a cat, who's returning to her not-quite-newborn kittens. The blood-curling screams that carry over the forest is just a young fox practicing his vocal cords to attract a mate.

And the dark silhouette you saw last night in your peripherial vision, dismissing it as just a trick of the light... perhaps it's there because it doesn't want to scare you. Because it thinks you'd scream if you actually saw it. It's right. Unfortunately.

Now, with all that waxing poetic, let me just say that there are moments when the game feels pretty obtuse to play. I got stuck on a few puzzles and I couldn't find any walkthroughs so I just bashed my head against the wall - that's never fun - until eventually it crumbled, and I'm so glad it did; the story is very much worth experiencing.

In particular, the story gains maturity as you slowly unravel this whole mess. It doesn't quite reach Disco Elysium levels of core-cutting self-reflection - what does? - but there's a certain... weight to its writing. A weight that only comes from gazing into the abyss. A weight that many of us are sure to recognise.

See, this is what people mean when they don't want AI slop - they want stories that come from actual experiences, a medium to connect with another human being through the language of emotion. Anyway, I'm preaching to the choir here.

The true ending has a staggering 54% of achievement rate, but this might have something to do the fact that not that many people have actually played the game. Help this dev out, people - 10 reviews is enough to "awaken" the algorithm, so if you end up playing and liking it, write a few words, won't you?

Curator page

Well I'll be. PlaySide went and made an actually good game. Great, even. You want reasons to NOT play it? Here, I'll give you two: some weapons seem flat-out better than the others, and the game's quite hard. That's it.

There isn't much in the way of story, but there's no need for that here. KILL KNIGHT is a very focused experience, cutting away all the fat and leaving only the best morsels on the table. The aesthetic is tight and even the menus are very visually stimulating, the gameplay is high-octane action all the way through, and the difficulty - high as it might be - feels actually fair; once everything clicks, at least.

The deal is simple. Five layers of the Abyss - five levels. Each level is a non-stop gauntlet against an onslaught of enemies in a relatively small area. The arena shifts constantly mid-level - a very fresh idea - so even though you're not really going anywhere, it still feels like you're in different places. And often the current form of the layer will contain some kind of hazards such as lasers - so it never gets boring.

And that's all you need.

Seriously. The game is just hella fun to play. By completing objectives (or bypassing them by farming) you unlock new gear, which gives you new build options. Do you prefer a quick sword that can eat up projectiles, or a Guts-approved slab of metal? Do you want your pistols to be rapid-fire, shoot-through, or maybe little shotguns? There's also the heavy weapons. Want a big shotgun, a bazooka, or maybe a long-distance rifle? There's even more, if you have what it takes to unlock 'em.

Once you lock in and get a feel for how things work, you'll start to revel in the violence. There's no time to think. It's just you and your weapons, and any hesitation can be fatal. Sure, you can heal yourself, but not that often. Just attack. Kill. KILL. Kill them all or die trying.

And yeah, you'll die a lot. Too much perhaps. The game seems to be far too difficult for most people, or maybe they get bored; anyway, every layer filters out roughly half of the players. So 40% beat the first layer, 20% the second, 10% the third, 5% the fourth and 3.6% have beat the final one.

Whether this means the game's too hard, too boring, or not fun enough to justify the difficulty, that's up to you to decide. I had an excellent time and was able to win after 14 hours of play. Each run is up to 12 minutes long, so that's a lot of runs I suppose, but the game's fun so I didn't mind at all.

In fact, I'll keep playing - there's leaderboards and higher difficulties, and then there's the Sever mode... point is, plenty to do if you think the game's too easy. I don't, but I want to see how much of its challenge I can withstand.

KURATOR PAGE

It's great but it also isn't.

I can't even begin to imagine the creative process behind it. There's lots of imagery, a clear theme, there's even a secret alphabet; but once the "what the hell am I looking at" runs out, the game loses its grip and becomes a shoddy walking sim.

The world is very open: there are different paths you can take. It's actually kind of like Yume Nikki - go through one world to go to another - but the traversal is nowhere near as fun in this one, and repeating zones that weren't that fun to begin with... eh.

I think I reached an ending. It's hard to say with this game - I took one long path to its completion, and something happened, and I was given a card, which I think symbolises one of the 3 endings. There are areas I haven't explored, but to go to them I have to redo areas I already did a few times and... yeah, pass. And that's saying nothing of sections that have a bit more "active" gameplay...

It's a shame, the surrealism of it all is something else - and the random things aren't so random in my opinion. Or maybe I'm reading too deep into this.

Finally, some meaningful variety in the incremental game genre! So far we've had clickers and idlers which then spawned Survivor-like hybrids such as nodebuster... and Astro Prospector takes these but makes it a bona fide bullet hell game instead. Bullet... heck?

Yeah, let me mention the difficulty real quick. You need to pay attention, this isn't a game that you can zone out to. I consider myself somewhat crap at bullet hell games, I can't beat a single Touhou game - and I found it high, but manageable. Later on you get real danmaku (one of the recurring bosses is outright called Kaguya) - including a danmaku that is literally just "F*CK YOU!!!" in bullets. Definitely a moment!

For what its worth, your hitbox is tiny, so once the bullets start helling you'll often find yourself narrowly dodging stuff all the time. There are tools to clear the screen and you can upgrade your ship to be able to take a lot of hits - but still, you -will- have to dodge. I got stuck at a certain boss, some people got stuck at the final boss (which I found relatively easy); point is - skill is mandatory. No amount of upgrades will cruise you past incompetence.

The upgrades themselves aren't too crazy, but they're not bog-standard either. There's enough tactical width to keep things varied - and all weapons bar the screen clearer fire automatically/situationally, so you can focus on dodging bullets and collecting loot. Oh, and collecting Flow Rings. That's a very interesting mechanic.

A Flow Ring appears every few seconds (by default). They don't do much by themselves, but a lot of your upgrades give you mid-run bonuses for every ring. +2 base damage per ring, +3% to final loot multiplier, a layer of shield every X rings and so on. And that's what keeps the game, heh, flowing. Mixing dodging bullets, collecting stuff and going after rings like a 90s gaming mascot and there you go, all juices flowing at optimal levels.

And should you beat the game, turns out there's a completely separate second game in here - "Endless Coffee", which takes upgrades from the base game and turns the whole thing into a roguelike. I'm not going to talk about it because it's a completely different thing - but it's also lovingly made, and an excellent place to continue playing after beating the main mode.

What's that, completion stats? 56% beat the main game. That is an outstanding result, and it's also all I have to say. Enjoy!

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