-Rep After a good game in csgo, i added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship. I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was coming so i was looking forward to meeting him in real life. When he arrived at my house, he pushed me against the wall and started nibbling my ear, i felt his hard ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg. I punched him and then 1 tapped him. Turns out he was gay. Don't trust this guy.

sup bro, just thought I'd add you cos of that badass pose you're doing in your display picture. I'm a street fighter myself so I tend to run with a pretty rough crowd and I can tell by those vicious tears in your jeans that you're a similar breed. Maybe one day we could go down to the quarry and throw rocks at cats. Anyways keep it real player. R3$p3cT!

Why did the Indian bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house! 😂 Meanwhile, his friend is arguing with the waiter about why the naan isn’t flat enough. "This isn’t just bread; it’s a lifestyle!" 🍞 And don’t even get me started on the chai debate. One sip, and suddenly everyone’s a tea connoisseur! Welcome to India: where every meal is an Olympic event! 🥇

hey, so like… idk how to say this without sounding cringe but can we honestly fall in love? like real love. not the “haha ur cute” love but the “i saw a frog and thought of u” kind of love. the kind where we send voice notes at 2am rambling about nothing and i save them all in a folder called “reasons to keep going.” i wanna talk about our favourite fruits and argue about whether cereal is a soup. i want us to match pfps ironically until it’s not ironic anymore. i want to share playlists with you that lowkey expose my entire soul and pretend it’s casual. i’d let you win in chess. or lose. depends how cute you look when you’re smug. also i would read every unhinged paragraph you send me without judgment and respond with something equally unhinged but loving. always loving. so like. can we honestly edate? except irl. forever.

HOW TO BE TOUGH IN CS2 USE THESE PHRASES IN GAME

TERRORIST SIDE:
"Time for a bomb-a** game team!"
"Green, you go left, yellow, you go right, and orange blue and purple? You just be you!"
"Rushing long, Mt Rushmore style" (This one is especially cool if you're well versed in American history)
"Can somebody plant? The enemy wont LEAF us alone!"
"Boom! Cranium shaker!" (This is for when you get a headshot btw)
"Can anybody else smell that pie? Must be a CT trap!"

COUNTER-TERRORIST SIDE:
"They're gonna go A, and i'm gonna B there" (Cheeky wordplay on the sites)
"Just bought a kit, hope my dad comes home with the milk!"
"Holding A/B, nothing gets past me" (This one is especially tuff and gives you so many aura points)
"Yes team! Another win for the good guys"
"Did you guys know CT stands for Crazy Time? Lets get craaaazy!!"

You see, normally, in Counter-Strike, you got a 50/50 chance of winning a round.
But I’m a CS GOD, and you’re not, so you got a 25% chance AT BEST of beating me.
See, in a normal 1v1 clutch, you got a 50/50 chance.
But I got better crosshair placement, better utility, and I actually know the callouts,
so you only got a 33⅓ chance of winning.
BUT I… I got a 66⅔ chance, ‘cause I DON’T PEEK MID WITHOUT A FLASH, and you DO.
Now take that 33⅓ chance minus my 25% mechanical skill advantage,
and you got an 8⅓ chance of winning that round.
But then you add Inferno into the mix?
Your chances of winning DRASTIC go down.
‘Cause I know banana control, I know timings,
and you’re rotating through spawn with your knife out like an IDIOT.
So at match point,
you got an 8⅓ chance,
minus another 20% for bad comms,
minus 15% for solo-queue brain,
which means you got about a NEGATIVE chance of winning.
THE NUMBERS DON’T LIE
And they spell GG for YOU