proof or it didnt happen

sent me a link to a wattpad document that said it contained "step-by-step recipes for brewing an omnivirility serum." i was like, wow. that's stupid! i'm already capable of getting any woman pregnant just by walking near her." unfortunately opening some of the links gave my computer a virus and it is now secreting a strange roiling fluid that is dissolving my very expensive wooden desk. it did work though

i did more than that

broke into my house and stole nothing but my dog's ashes. i shall visit my fury upon you

what even are you bro...

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT