I hate Ubisoft. I never considered the conglomerate good as a whole, not even when the acclaimed Ezio trilogy was the talk of the town. Even then, whenever I am playing a Ubisoft game, especially in games after “the formula” is established, I cannot stop thinking that there are some parts of this that are worth saving. I hate how playing a Ubisoft game makes me feel. I feel like a provincial schmuck who has been to a city whorehouse for the first time in their life and fell in love with the first ♥♥♥♥♥ who bothered to love them for fifteen minutes and immediately start dreaming about how they can save the ♥♥♥♥♥ from the whoring life. The Division games have felt like that, Assassin’s Creed games have felt like that, the first two Watch Dogs games felt like that and Legion is no different.

I love the work 3D modelers and texture artists did with the city, in most Ubisoft formula games actually. I love driving aimlessly in the rain, I love walking down narrow alleys and less developed parts of the city, I love visiting of the meticulously designed but mechanically useless parts, I love taking photos in this quite faithful recreation of London. I want to save the people who built this city from having to make Ubisoft games, because the rest of the game is, there are really no other words for it, quite ♥♥♥♥.

I am not even sure if this is a game, or just an elaborate tool to recruit drone operators to fight in Ukraine. There is so much of it that one might even think there is some obscure part of the code that uploads your efficiency rating with drones to some NATO servers. Because under all of the fluff of silenced weapons, stealth mechanics, various weapons, hacking abilities, the game is most efficiently played with by controlling drones. This also diminishes the work of the modelers and artists, as you will be flying or crawling past what they have built rather than having to push through its streets, fences, and houses meter by meter, unconsciously taking in the environment at every step.

I won’t deny that the existence of drones adds some enjoyable immersive sim characteristics to the game, but their use should have been severely limited to certain set pieces to create a certain contrast between the capabilities of the flesh and machine. It is not difficult to guess that in typical Ubisoft extravagancy a decision was made to make every type of mission able to be completed by a drone, because they already coded it and they need to showcase it for marketing and investor presentations. The same goes for the various recruitable characters. The idea itself sounds incredible, but in essence once you recruit one of the few who manages to be likeable and useful at the same time (mine was a cynical professional hitman from Eastern Europe) there is no further need to engage with the mechanic. The problem with making every NPC recruitable with their own schedules is that the compute cost causes what is supposed to be a bustling metropolis to turn into a ghost town, further degrading the city modelers and artists built. Any photos I took inevitably looked like Lego sets, architecturally and proportionally sound but there is no human touch, no significant number of humans.

The humans that exist, do not necessarily correspond to the diversity of London. I am not talking about ethnic diversity, the game has plenty of that. I am talking about the many subcultures that only few metropolises manage to gather. The cokeheaded finance bros, chavs, ♥♥♥♥♥♥ car modification lovers, corporate ladder zealots, disenfranchised black belligerents, betting addicts, people whose whole character is West Ham or Milwall, fake nail and hair extension enthusiasts, suspiciously hardcore Adele fans, none of those people exist or they exist so few and far between that they do not create a subculture but caricatures with only one-liners. This is what comes to my mind when I think about London, more than its landmarks and tourist traps.

Well, that and the rain and for a game that takes place in London, the rain is surprisingly subdued. When I was in London many years ago during August, there was just one day where it failed to rain but more than half the time you spend in Ubisoft’s London, you’ll be greeted by sunny skies, which is as alien to London as affordable housing. For a game that takes place in London, the rain should not just be for virtual photographers who will inevitably salivate over the wet asphalt, but it should be what sets the tone, the direction and dialogue. I would have loved to throw myself into a pub to escape torrential rain, and then discuss the next mission with my co-conspirators in a dark corner over a few pints, rather than having an AI in my ear, ordering me around and declaring the most efficient way of how to proceed.

This brings us to the fundamental problem of WD series, not just Legion, although this problem has been exacerbated in each iteration. The technology is far too advanced and accessible to everyone makes it difficult to have engaging gameplay or an engaging story. Even today in an open war between the forces of mass surveillance corporate dictatorship and rebels, the dictatorship will win every time due to their advantage in fire and compute power no matter the capabilities of individual rebels. The actual power struggle would need to happen in demilitarized zones, a clandestine war that goes on in between the masses waiting for the next train, slaving away in their cubicles, in council meetings to create actual tension. Instead, the player goes to a specific area marked as hostile zone, clears out enemies and this does not change or interact with the beautiful open world itself in anyway.

These demarcated hostile zones occupy any London landmark one would deem interesting, and it is obvious that extra care in world design went towards these areas. So, visiting the most intricately built parts of this requires you to either engage in gunfights, send in drones or move around stealthily, rather than taking in the view and interacting with the space itself. Thus, nailing the final nail on the beautiful open world’s coffin, rendering it completely and utterly useless.

Ubisoft open worlds are works of art that beg for someone to put in an enjoyable game and engaging story in them. This is why I keep dreaming about saving the artists and modelers from the Ubisoft whorehouse, but if you are familiar with the trope I opened this review with, you’ll also know that the ♥♥♥♥♥ is actually always happy with their circumstances because the work is easy, secure and pays well (this might have changed quite recently). They only feed the saviour fantasy to keep the customer coming, which is exactly what happens with every Ubisoft game I play.

Despite the scathing critique I, the unrepentant fantasist, would still recommend this game, but only because I immensely enjoy digital open worlds and I’m a beggar for even the most miniscule immersive sim characteristics.

Off to wash away the shame/10

P.S.: I’ve heard that 12 years after release, some modpacks managed to put in a good game in the first WD, it’s never too late for these worlds.

I enjoyed it more than I thought I would despite all the mixed reviews. Although the game does feel like "One step forward, two step backwards", it was definitely worth picking up on sale especially alongside the DLCs as finishing them first prior to starting the campaign can help it to feel less tedious while using Aiden and Wrench. I think it also slightly fix the initial complaints of the game not having a fixed protagonist as by having those two as your "only" central operatives, the game feels more like an organic sequel to the first two.

Overall, a 7/10 experience. Would probably not replay this game anytime soon (or ever), but for $14.99 with 60hrs of content, I'd say money well spent.

This game feels so off compared to the 2 other.
And it's so laggy... What a shame to keep selling this stupid game between 60€ to 120€.
They deserved their downfall