my snake is solid from playing this

They needed a stealth soldier, so I put my hands on the hibachi hot plate at Benihana and burned my ♥♥♥♥♥♥' fingerprints off

They will not find me.

**Recommended.**

Started **The Phantom Pain** as a legendary soldier.

Now I:

* kidnap people with weather balloons
* steal sheep like it’s part of NATO protocol
* run Mother Base like a divorced dad with infinite military funding
* and solve every tactical problem with either stealth, air support, or pure stupidity

This is not a stealth game.

This is a sandbox where the game politely says,
“Here are 50 smart ways to complete the mission.”

And I respond with,
“Cool. Horse.”

Every guard in Afghanistan and Africa should know my name by now, because apparently I am the only man in history who can infiltrate a base flawlessly, then ruin everything because I pressed the wrong button and punched a wall.

Also shoutout to the Fulton system:
the single greatest piece of nonsense ever put into a serious military game.

“Boss, how are we building an army?”
Simple.
I see a guy.
I balloon the guy.
Now he works for me.

**10/10**
Hideo Kojima really looked at war, trauma, geopolitics, and human suffering… and said:
“Yeah, but what if the horse could poop on command?”