Development quotes of the week

Can we stop treating time in a simplistic linear fashion, please? Given the general relativity theory, time should be expressed as a (potentially infinitely long) vector of "stretch" factors for different points in the timeline, and a hashmap of such vectors, to allow different points of view, as well as a scrambling function to represent the route of a Tardis as a complicated directed, cyclical graph of points of view of stretching vectors, combined with a seed value for scrambling to represent the Doctor who was using the Tardis at any given, if you pardon the expression, time.

The trick to being successful with JavaScript is to relax and allow yourself to slightly sink into your office chair as a gelatinous blob of developer.

When you feel yourself getting all rigid and tense in the muscles, say, because you read an article about how you're doing it wrong or that your favourite libraries are dead-ends, just take a deep breath and patiently allow yourself to return to your gelatinous form.

Now I know what you're thinking, "that's good and all, but I'll just slowly become an obsolete blob of goo in an over-priced, surprisingly uncomfortable, but good looking office chair. I like money, but at my company they don't pay the non-performing goo-balls." Which is an understandable concern, but before we address it, notice how your butt no-longer feels half sore, half numb when in goo form, and how nice that kind of is. Ever wonder what that third lever under your chair does? Now's a perfect time to find out!

As long as you accept that you're always going to be doing it wrong, that there's always a newer library, and that your code will never scale infinitely on the first try, you'll find that you can succeed and remain gelatinous. Pick a stack then put on the blinders until its time to refactor/rebuild for the next order of magnitude of scaling, or the next project.

If someone endorses you on LinkedIn for the skill of 'subversion' - is that a good thing ?