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The hand Lender
by Queen Cult
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- Website version: 4.3.18.9 (last updated: 29 jun 2026) | see LICENSE
- This is my personal website, where i share a bit of me and some shit i do. Also a "repository" of my projects and their resources.
                    

Welcome to my little corner on the internet.

☆======= About Me =========☆

I consider myself a Multi-disciplinary Artist, not a creator or some sort.

I am intellectually restless and emotionally over-committed.

I’m driven by curiosity. I build apps, animate, do random videos, design apps/websites and do some digital art.

I like the rush of a project and the low-self esteem in each week im doing it. It will always fall back on me later, and i kinda like it.

☆======= Curiosities =========☆

  • I'm Portuguese, live in Portugal.
  • Big fan of abstract, unhinged and supa random phrases. The more unusual, the better.
  • Crazy things are attractive to me.
  • I don't use pronouns. Tell me that i am a male or a female, call me whatever, i don't care about it. I identify myself as a human and nothing more.
  • My creative process starts by looking around me and ends in pure chaos and metal distress. But I still deliver.
  • Linear approaches make me feel weak, confused and anxious. So.. i often do multiple projects at the same time, rotating between them whenever i feel to.
  • I'm a mess in person, completely bipolar, btw.
  • I hate using big frameworks. I want TOTAL control over my project & tools!
  • I love stories where the theme is mostly fantasy (superficial), action (deep lore), violence (with emotional impact), drama (with controversy and unusual themes), theatrical, interdimentional themes.
  • My music style is.. very mixed: Indie rock, alternative rock, Rock & roll, metal, theatrical, glitchcore, hi-hop (before 2017), indie pop, breakcore (favorite).
  • I have a very weird sense of humor, i like dark comedy, surreal comedy, anti-jokes, ironic and unintentional comedy.
  • Aesthetics... I like things that are chaotic, colorful, with a lot of contrast without much detail.
  • I don't have any sense of fashion. I dress how I like and feel more comfy in.
  • Thinking hurts sometimes. So like... 90% of the time, my head is completely turned off and whatever I say doesn't have any filter.
  • Can't stand love. Not made for it, i want it, but eventually i will become even more unstable emotionally.
  • Im building "Ghostware" - projects that are spiritually finished but physically unmanifested.
  • I LOOOVE jelly fishes! They are like.. so complex for no reason heheh. My fav not-pet animal.
  • I had schizophrenia once, but it wasn't scary, just was a bunch of me-clones doing their business and discussing between each other.
  • Weekly or monthly, i randomly spend 1 to 5 days without entering any social media or message apps. Due to emotional instability. So if i disapear.. i didn't kill myself.
  • HEAR ME OUT... i love suicide, BUT NOT FOR THE REASON YOU THINK! i don't support the action of taking your own life, don't do it. But i will be willing to know the cause, the whys, the feeling before doing it, i am curious in why a person does it.. there are so many reasons, so many emotions, it triggers me.
  • I wake up (naturally) everynight at 4 am to drink hot chocolate and then go to bed again.
  • When i talk about a project i am still developing in my head.. every question feels like an attack. If i ever talk about a project that i didn't release yet, don't ask, just listen.
  • For some reason, i'm fucking OBSESSED WITH STARS!!!!! I LOVEEE STARZZZZ OMGOMGOG.. i just can't explain, my brain is wired to just.. be addicted to them. their shape...
  • I lost count of how many virtual names i ever has.. if i had to guess, probably 20 or so..
  • I collect/steal sugar packs from cafes, all of them, for what? To pay for university or smth.. one day i'm going to have enough sugar packs to pay it. + i have sugar for my cappuccinos. Just advantages.
  • Started coding since 11.. Started drawing since 4.. And started actually creating something with it at 14.. And i keep "starting" and learning things in every chance i can.
  • I love talking about myself, i guess all humans do, but i don't.. know exacly when to stop, so pls warn me if im pushing the chat... It's not on purpose and i seek learning self-control.
  • My fav type of cheese is shredded mozzarella. I swear, looks like i am drugged when i smell it. In fact, i am eating that right now as i am writting this.

☆======= Free time stuff =========☆

  • Make playlists (over 700 tracks each) for specific things, emotions or situations. (Like a playlist named "addicted" with only tracks i am addicted. if i stop being addicted: removed.)
  • Play games. (Minecraft, PEAK, SuperHOT, Friday Night Funkin', "Plague Inc", "Easy Delivery Co" ...)
  • Explore and support indie animation artists on social media.
  • I code things. Wowies.
  • Making my own ai models, or messing with existing ones.
  • Drowning myself in music whenever I have the chance.
  • Having conversations with myself
  • Learning how to make the perfect cappuccino. or the perfect toasted bread. Requires precision
  • I study these things randomly:
    • Advanced astronomy & space stuff
    • Philosophy & history & human mind
    • Algorithms & Web security
    • 2d+3d Animation (both at the same time)
    • Game dev lore. (I don't understand game dev at all)
    • Acting & Performance
    • History of random things. Like places and art.
    • Sociology & Anthropology
    • Conspiracy theories (the weirder, the better)
    • Random languages (currently: Russian, Italian)
    • Music design & production
    • Animal life documentaries
  • I make paper art: origami and small sculptures in paper.
  • Create episodic stories about.. lot of stuff, fantasy and abstract realities mostly.
  • I dance sometimes, when im happy enough, when the music is too good to be true or if i predict something accurately.

☆======= My own principles =========☆

  • Don't apologize for being yourself. Don't apologise if not on ur control.
  • Stay away from money kids.
  • I make projects for myself. All of them. I publish because I want to share my skills and they might be useful/fun to someone.
  • If you first ask "how u are going to profit from that" when I introduce a project, you are nothing to me anymore.
  • Big hater of.. whatever the corporate/capitalist concept is. Money doesn't attract me.
  • Once I promise, I keep it. No takebacks. Till I die.
  • I want to create memories, not create and develop things because "yes" or whatever u have to offer me.
  • I hate and I am against generative AI. Only acceptable use cases: learning and study. AI images are only for representation of a concept/idea and should not be used to replace anything. Humans need to be in the middle of the process. I use AI in coding as a tool to help debug and document my projects; it won't replace the process or any part of it.
  • Don't panic or be afraid of the future, you only have the present to make a future.
  • Stop caring isn't the same as giving up.
  • Do it first, deal with the consequences later. But.. i don't do that if the decision isn't yours, or has other people in any part of the process.
  • Self love is the most important kind of love.
  • I’d rather have a broken tool that belongs to me than a perfect one that owns me.
  • I can do stuff better with my soul than you can with your money.
  • I am still learning how to be mature.. but i know that being mature is not about being serious, it's about being responsible for your actions and their consequences, and also being able to adapt to different situations and people without losing yourself.
  • If i was rich, Plan A: destroy the money in the most cool, violent and non-recoverable way. Plan B: suicide.

everm4iva ✦
"we don't live in the same LA"
Quick links: Social Media: Social Media page