Wednesday, July 1, 2026

This Week in UMBROS: 06/23/26 to 06/30/26 - Making D&D a Wargame for real

when you tell Ferigno you still play
conventional d&d

After the Battle of Firsthaven, you might expect the world to take a breath. It did not. Instead you see escalating consequences and rumors (in SEEN posts) that may or may not be true but are absolutely somebody’s problem.This is just one reason why a TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN far superior to Conventional D&D play.

Some believe you need a great deal of Diffusion to go with Convergences Real D&D but I've found that 3 Convergences to 1 Diffusion in a campaign works just fine. Players seem to agree since they're just stacking the grand convergences.

Even so, I'm allowing more Diffusion than I normally would because the SEEN SYSTEM removes most of the negatives of farmdweeding; most importantly the way in which BROSR campaigns like Dubzaron would see PCs or Faction Leaders accruing great resources and armies essentially in secret, due to a Fog of War being as thick as yogurt. (For an explanation of all this and why this problem happens, check out this blog post.)

With these posts you'll notice some things going on which are likely Diffusion. But at least SOMETHING is known about them in the campaign as a whole. I'll note some of the Diffusion actions below in Editor's Notes.

This week covers the immediate ripples after the massive Convergence of the Battle of Firsthaven and the growing dread around the Glarewood. Prince Ronan, Ironrider, Coralynth, and one mysterious mage have gone missing after a weirding explosion in the sky over the Glarewood. Basically the Faction players followed up one Grand Convergence (The Battle of Firsthaven) with another just a week later. The post about this is called "A Second Sun Over Glarewood" on 06/29/26. That Convergence has flipped that campaign state yet again just a week after the massive battle.

Hibobu has started acting like the richest man in town during a crisis, which is to say he is spending money, hiring men, loading wagons, and making grand public proclamations. Moriva is on the march. The Sagoths are back to rallying around the Mahar who, for their part, are doing Mahar things. These Faction Actions appear to be Diffusion of farming resources or moving armies/units and such. In past BROSR games, this sort of thing would have been essentially secret but in UMBROS, thanks to SEEN, it's gameable.

But enough with the theory, lets move on to the "story". As always, the following SEEN posts are presented as in-world reports, rumors, gossip, lies, half-truths, and the occasional outrageous FACT. It's possible most of this is complete lies and psyops of players trying to get an edge on one another. Don't believe their lies! Or do. It's probably more fun that way.

Enjoy!

6/23/2026

Supermen From Firsthaven?

A muck farmer outside Umbral Keep witnessed a strange sight. A small band of men traveling along the far side of the river were ambushed by an entire nest of giant centipedes. The farmer thought them lost, but the creatures flailed and bit the travelers to no avail. When the creatures began to overwhelm them, the travelers ripped the centipedes in twain with their bare hands! After the men left towards Umbral Keep, the farmer recovered a broken pike distinctly Firsthaven made. Surely Prince Ronan has engineered some new form of man and is moving to consolidate his power in the Umbral Swamps now that Hooja is out of the way.

06/24/26

Spectral Riders in the Dawnlands

Reports in the Dawnlands of a group of spectral figures appearing at random to save travelers from peril. These figures are said to bear some resemblance to the late Order of the Iguanodon, though gaunt, pale, and wreathed in spectral flame. One group of travelers reported being set upon by monsters in the night, only for these revenants to ride down from the sky and drive back the nightmarish creatures encircling them.

06/27/26

Azkin's Instruments

If Azkin the Elf Thief/Fighter is to be believed, the Hel Delver party was highly successful during their trip to the local megadungeon this week. While some find it far fetched, he is hear claiming that the party "copped a bunch of musical instruments made out of precious metals" from the dungeon. "Tootch loved the stuff and gave us a big payout over 2,000 gp for the lot." While seemingly feasible, this nice payout doesn't explain why some onlookers claim to have seen Azkin conspiring with local elves to create an Elf Autonomous Zone within Tootchville. Details are sketchy but rumors claim he was "looking shady" and "talking and engaging in martial arts with local elf luminaries".

Editor's Note: Azkin is my adventuring PC. A while back it occurred to me that Faction Leaders who play in the Braunstein Type II (or Downtime Play/ Play By Post) aspects of these campaigns are never too certain what the Adventuring Parties who do session play are up to. So I instituted some class/role based checks to make and then certain types of SEEN posts that PCs may need to make (if they fail the roll). For Azkin, being a Thief, he's obliged to make a SEEN post about the treasure he took out of the recent adventure/delve if he fails a Hide in Shadows check. If he succeeds then he can make no post or make up a bunch of fake info. This allows faction leaders and others in the campaign world to somewhat gauge how successful the sessions are going. And adds another wrinkle to Thieves pickpocketing from the party. No longer can a thief hide in the fog of war 100% as he accrues great wealth. Sometimes hints might slip out that he's doing better than the party... somehow. "He maybe it's because he's stealing from us?!" Maybe. Azkin isn't. He's a great guy. Very loyal. Team player.

06/27/26

Malcontents Could be Here...

The Monk who has been seen in the dungeoneering group in Tootchville was savagely beaten in the town square today. Witnesses report that Senehem issued an open challenge to anyone who wished to test their prowess in unarmed combat, a challenge which was taken up by a dozen malcontents. Simultaneously. This incident mostly proved the hoary old adage about "strength in numbers", as the monk was rapidly surrounded and beaten down. The assailants then attempted to rob their unconscious victim, only to be thwarted by the monk's complete lack of material possessions. They settled instead for destruction of property, vandalism, and some manure throwing for good measure.

6/27/2026

Tales From The Bone Zone

Hibobu's thag riders currently employed by the Hel Delvers were regaling tavern maids of their exploits in the Hel Dungeon while carousing in Tootchvile: "You don't understand love, EVERYTHING was made of bones! We pushed through down a staircase and the walls, the doors, the floor - the whole damn complex was made of skeletons. We saw skeleton knights, skeleton musicians, you open a door and the only thing we could see is skeleton hands grasping for our throats! I've got a much nicer bone I can show you tonight if you catch my meaning..." It is unknown if the mercenaries conquests outside of the dungeon were more successful that evening, though at least one rider was seen wearing the ale he ordered before the night had ended.

06/27/26

The Sagoths March

Out of the Umbral Swamps, the Sagoths march once again! After months of rudderless bickering following the slaying of Srith the Lizard Queen, the ape-men mouthpieces of the Mahar are now organized and on the move.

Editor's Note: The Mahar Faction hasn't had a human player behind it at any point in the history of UMBROS. A very cool BROSR member, this week, found this so absurd he asked to run the Mahar in the Faction Tier. This was sort of his introduction that the Faction now had a player. Back during Dubzaron I used to let Factions hide for a time and have players believe they were NPCs because it became so common for the adventuring party to use session play to kill off a faction leader. Because, when a DM controls a character, he simply plays them much worse than if they have a Player behind them like a PVP game. But I've decided this hiding whether a faction is PC or NPC isn't fun play and it creates extra work for the DM for negative return. Introduce yourselves!

06/27/26

Business at the Guild House

Despite dark rumors stealing forth from the depths of Glare Wood, business continued its steady course at the Guild House of Firsthaven. There the giant caravan wagons stood in formidable array, their lofty frames groaning beneath the ceaseless labour of loading. All manner of goods were heaved aboard while the air rang with shouts and the creak of ropes and timbers. Passersby paused to observe the spectacle, for it was a sight to stir any man with an eye for the world’s affairs.Runners darted through the narrower streets, calling at small shops and warehouses to purchase yet more wares and swell the growing cargo. Thus the currents of commerce flowed on, unheeding.Notably, one rubber-necked idler was heard to declare with rough eloquence: “I seen them swampers packin’ all manner of truck—even iron weapons, and some ’o that shiny armour they wear.”So it was that the ordinary pursuits of men pressed forward with undiminished vigour, while the shadow of unknown tidings lingered upon the edge of things.

Editor's Note: Seems like Diffusion right? The Merchant faction is buying or building something... Good thing he's not totally hiding behind a fog of war thanks to DM attention bottleneck. Thank you DM Serious for creating SEEN!

06/27/26

Weirding at Tootch's Tower but what else is new

The word on the canyon is that something happened in Tootch's Tower.

What that something is hasn't been clearly determined. Alchemy, magic, genetics, alchemigenetics, nobody is really certain.

What is certain is that Tootch seems unimpressed with the outcome and is pushing ahead towards an indeterminate goal that may spell disaster or glory for Inner Earth. Hell, it may spell 'fish and chips'. The rumor network isn't what it used to be, that's what all the oldheads are saying.

06/28/26

Preparations for the Arcane Fair

Preparations for the Arcane Fair continue to stir around the Purple Tower. Stalls for snacks and displays have started popping up all across Tootchtown offering all manner of the strange and definitely magical for the samplings of the peons in Umbros.

All is not smooth, however, as reports from within the reaches of the Purple Tower claim to hear the Eternal Magus making a racket as occasional streams of smoky letters drift from its heights. Some witnesses claim to have seen the words "diamond," "power," and "Elf" in various states of dissipation.

06/28/26

Hibobu Rides Out

It was but moments after the Homestone shed its blessed light upon Firsthaven that the massive doors of the Guild warehouse swung open with a ponderous groan. Forth rode the Guild Master, Hibobu, purple-robed and keenly alert, mounted upon one of his noble riding Thags. He led a heavily laden and well-guarded caravan toward the opened North Gate. Thus, parading into the bright morning, the wealth and might of the Guild were displayed for all to behold.Two great draft Thags immense wagons, while no less than seven war Thags bore archers in their colourful howdahs. Bringing up the rear came the handsome Captain Shulgi and the green-haired Hildaga, both seated upon their own proud riding beasts. The odd little spearmen rode their tigers along left and right of the column. So passed the procession, stately and imposing, into the open road beyond.

Editor's Note: I believe I have used SEEN to fix the Army Recon systems of other games. ACKS' system has too many rolls (check out "Winning Secrets 2" to learn more of my thoughts on this) to be useful. But I instituted a new campaign rule that Marching Armies must needs make a SEEN check (and possibly post) when their Armies "Head Out" and then when their armies "Arrive". If your SEEN post needs to be "Open" then you have to hint at your numbers and where you're heading to. You're also obliged to make a SEEN check if you're calling your banners to war. This will allow players with armies to get some sense of what sort of war preparation and marching their opponents (and allies) may be up to. So with that, myself and the BROSR have easily solved yet another big annoying gaming problem. "DND is a wargame" and "buy my stupid retroclone" dweebs have been yammering for years and have offered nothing this useful to making D&D A WARGAME. This discovery would have been the greatest gaming innovation of their lives, had they thought of it. For me, it was a Tuesday. You're welcome.

6/29/26

The Pale Stone Returns

The strange pale stone has once again appeared above the sacrificial temple in the Dawnlands. Reports of inhuman howling have increased and illness seems to strike with increased fervor and tenacity!

Disease checks for July will be made with a +4% penalty as blood sacrifices call Niflheim closer to Umbros.

06/29/26

Moriva Prepares Siege Engines

Travelers report a felling of trees in the lands held by Moriva. This, coupled with the noises of construction that can be heard at all hours of the night, imply that Moriva is undertaking some grand design. The intent is as yet unknown, but it is rumored that the lich intends to march on one of her neighbors and is preparing siege engines to that purpose.

06/29/26

Abner Perry Alive?! and changed...

Hushed rumors from runaway slaves of the Mahar tell of Abner Perry, somehow still alive, subject to the same experiments he performs on the unhappy victims who become the dwelvemen. But his outcome was different. Suddenly he was younger, more graceful, healthier, and... shorter.

06/29/26

Hibobu Speaks at the Ruined Temple

Hibobu climbs to the steps of the ruined temple and addresses the citizens. "Citizens of Firsthaven, Followers of the Homestone, our valiant Prince has gone to hunt the villian Ferigno. We pray for his success. In the meantime we are left with our temple damaged but not beyond repair. I Hibobu, Master of the Merchant's Guild vow to see the temple repaired and brought to it's previous glory. More glorious than anyone has ever seen! To that end, my personal engineer, Thadius Thrumple will direct any able bodied men willing to help in this holy work. I will pay any who volunteer 1 silver piece per week, plus one meal. I further pledge 1,000 GP for materials and skilled laborers. Work begins tomorrow. Present yourself to Thadius to be placed on payroll. The Homestone bless you all."

06/29/26

A Second Sun Over the Glarewood

In the days after the Battle of Firsthaven, rumors began to spread about a private council between Prince Ronan, Ironrider of Goldhold, and Coralynth the dragon. Cain & Hibobu were noticed taking part as well, yet leaving early with looks none too pleased.

Some days later, Coralynth rose from the waters with a newly fixed howdah upon her back. Ronan climbed aboard with Ironrider and some of his dwarven warriors. A robed magic user was seen joining them, carrying a shimmering magic staff. Stranger still, Coralynth was seen carrying a huge squid from the deeps, no doubt for some very serious purpose, or perhaps because dragons have their own ideas about what counts as sensible battle planning.

Then she flew northwest, toward the Glarewood. For nearly a day there was no word.

Then a great light bloomed in the sky over the Glarewood. Even that blinding forest was made dim by comparison. The sky flashed white and silver, and a thunderous boom rolled out over the trees.

Some wanderers and hairy men from the outer thorps say they saw it. They now talk in frightened and superstitious ways, as such men often do when they see something terrible and do not know whether to blame gods, wizards, dragons, or taxes. Some even swearing they heard Ferigno's terrible laugh echo behind the boom of the second sun.

Those who look northwest after dark say something still shimmers above the Glarewood. But no word has returned from Ronan, Ironrider, Coralynth or even the mysterious mage. The citizens of Firsthaven grow anxious and the most faithful of them gather at the ruined temple of the Home Stone with the prayers Ronan taught them echoing from dry lips. No word comes from the Stone, though the light still pulses at circadian rhythms. Even those men less faithful, in Firsthaven, are beginning to count their princes, allies, and hopes, and finding the numbers much smaller than they were before.

Editor's Note: Every week I make these posts and think "this is the Convergence and gaming moment that UMBROS will be known for because it's so wild and game changing". And every week my players top themselves. The ripples of this event with (probably) 2 Factions and a major PC being eradicated have already greatly impacted the campaign world of UMBROS. What do you do when the Lawful Good Paladin of the game world's Lawful Good city is gone? As a PC do you try to take advantage of it? If you're a Faction, do you try to march on the city and take it? If you're a thief guildmaster, do you try to take over the politics of the town? Who knows. Lots of options, though. Much better than Conventional D&D where your biggest choice is whether to play Angry Birds or Candy Crush between your combat round choices.

06/29/26

A Minor Disturbance Over the Glarewood

High above the Glarewood, Ferigno flew on patrol when he noticed a strange form flying toward him. A bronze dragon carrying a giant squid with a half dozen humanoid riders.

“A squid…?”

One rider pointed his staff at Ferigno as the Wyrm let loose a Fireball.

“QUICK ABSORB IT,” Ferigno heard just before a multicolored fireball engulfed the crew, dragon, and giant squid.

“Hm… still got it.”

“Wonder who that was,” Ferigno said as he lay down for a nap.

06/30/26

Moriva Marches East

The moment the light appeared in the sky over Glarewood, the black gates of Hel's Fortress opened. Cloaked in darkness, an army of the dead now marches East with Moriva at the head of this terrible host. Just before all light was snuffed out by some evil fulgue seeping from the Helrock itself, a glimpse of the force is seen of less than 100 undying things; skeletons, ghouls, and shadowy things called terms better forgotten by those of the living. Moriva's dark beauty glides among them. Crackling voices hiss "to Firsthaven".

Editor's Note: Another (possible, assuming it's not a lie or False Flag) hint at an army on the march. I have personally made D&D a Wargame for real, finally. Again, you're welcome.

Closing Note

This week the UMBROS campaign has essentially proven all my theories correct about the TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN. This campaign is historically good, "even with journeymen players", as one friend said to me. Yes, these players are ALL still learning. And, yes, some of their choices may have been tactically questionable (giant squid tossing?) but with TNB even midcard level play and choices from players will create the campaign of your dreams. Why are you still playing conventional D&D?

Tuesday, June 23, 2026

This Week in UMBROS 06/13/26 through 06/22/26: Special BATTLE OF FIRSTHAVEN edition

UMBROS may be the greatest TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN to ever be ran with 1e Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. This week there was a massive CONVERGENCE which will be called, for all history, the Battle of Firsthaven. If you go back to the old news posts that I've dropped, you may have gathered that Ferigno the Green Dragon was laying siege on the Lawful Good city led by the Paladin Ronan Innes. Well on 06/13/26 it all converged when the Dwarves of Goldhold, led by Iron Rider the dwarf (because Lord Cointhrall was killed by Ferigno in a mass combat back in March 2026) looking for revenge on the Green Wyrm.

In a recent ad hoc session play I ran for the dwarf player and the Level 3 PC Mage in early June, I adjudicated Iron Rider and the dwarves traveling overland to arrive at Firsthaven. They got lost ALOT and ended up there around 06/12/26 and told me, because Ferigno was napping and hadn't seen there smallish army approach, that he'd wait until the morning to attack the dragon.

In a later blog I will lay out the order of battle where I ran the Battle of Firsthaven as a play by post wargame (assuming there wasn't enough game there to Docket it for the wargamers in the group to play out). I assumed it would be a simple adjudication, and it was, but it led to some incredible story elements that have drastically impacted the campaign state going forward. Which is the point of a wargame, docket, and Total Nonstop Braunstein!

But for now I want to keep the objective details of the battle a secret from the players. And they, like you, can enjoy and interpret the subjective details from the SEEN posts some/all of them were asked to craft.

Some amazing people have said I'm a genius for asking for multiple SEEN posts for a big event like this. That it helps lay out the way real news is with various eyewitness reports of all varieties and levels of truthfulness. I agree with these amazing people, I am a genius.

Enjoy!

6/13/2026

The Dwarven Charge

The dwarven charge thundered across the plains, smashing the gathered vineling horde to pieces. Dwarven steel met rotting vine in a symphony of hammer, sword, and pike as war hymns filled the air. Filled with confidence, the dwarven forces were relentless in their pursuit against their ancient foe, even as he flew higher and higher. But the hearts of men are not as stout as those of the dwarves, and the minds of thags not as keen. Hibobu's thag riders, trembling at the sight of the great green beast, jumped from their howdas as the thags were sent into a manic stampede. With no riders to guide them, the beasts charged straight for the nearest thing they could vent their fear upon; the dwarves. The hymns were turned to cries of pain as the thags ground the dwarven front into the dirt. When they finally finished their charge, only Ironrider, Thurn, and another captain remained. It would seem that Thurn's curse has struck again.
Hope swelled among the surviving dwarves as Coralynth herself rose from the waves, only once again to be dashed when Ferigno blasted her from the sky with his cursed breath. Offering up a hymn of sorrow, Ironrider resolved and vowed to all present that no more would Ferigno get away with it.
Ironrider was last seen conversing with the strange robed man with the glowing staff that had burned Ferigno with a fireball, shaking his hand before they both strode into Firsthaven.

06/13/26

Fire in the Sky

While rumors about the Battle of Firsthaven, as the popular press is now calling it, have been flying fast and thick, some points of consistency can be identified across the varied accounts. Among them: the only damage to the Wyrm Ferigno came at the hands of a wizard in the employ of the Dwarven army. This spellcaster was seen slinging fireballs with wild abandon, one of which scorched the dragon’s hide and incinerated the Vinelings being carried by him at the time.

Popular accounts have this wizard riding a tiger while engaging Ferigno, though we caution our readers to take such exaggerated stories with a grain of salt.

Information about this individual remains sparse: the magic-user evidently has spoken to no one except his Dwarven employers and the Pygmy Kwaja. The Dwarves aren’t talking to our reporters and none of us can understand a word of what Kwaja is saying. The magic user, for his part, has completely disappeared after the battle.

6/13/26

Report From the Wall at the Battle of Firsthaven

On the day of the battle this reporter was about to interview the Guild Master Hibobu who was standing the North Wall among his numerous archers. As I approached him, war trumpets sounded from the north. A massive horde of dwarven soldiers and crossbowmen were charging the assembled vinlings. The Guild Master shouted: "The dwarves come. Archers mount. Release the Cats." With the gate opened the Tigers erupted from the gate and surged across the field as the infantrymen followed trotting to help the attack. The archers all around me literally lept from the wall to the backs of the thags who soon followed. Hibobu stood the wall with his companion, Hildaga. For his part the nasty dragon took flight. It was then that I heard terrified soldiers and beast riders screaming. I witnessed many running away before I was overcome with a tremendous fright and ran home. Later I was told that the raging Thags trampled all the dwarves but I cannot confirm that. It was also rumored that an unknown mage came riding a tiger and casting spells but I think this is a hoax or perhaps a mirage born of fear.

06/13/26

Coralynth at the Battle of Firsthaven

"Coralynth was seen confidently surging out of the water in the bay of Firsthaven. Believing this was her moment to strike her hated enemy Ferigno. Those witnessing the charge could tell she hesitated for a moment as the realization dawned on her that it was too soon.

Struck down by the powerful Fergino in a single blow. She destroys a city district as she crashes to the ground."

Editors Note: Coralynth is a Dragoness who leads an army of mermaids off the coast of Firsthaven. She was brought into the campaign play a few weeks back to give some Good aligned elements to UMBROS, which had too many underhanded Neutral and Evil factions without enough Good factions to counteract it. Her backstory is based off of Poul Andersons "Merman's Children"; but with a disney dragon who sings love songs.

06/13/26

CORALYNTH SAVED FROM POISONING - FIRSTHAVEN HAUNTED BY GHOST OF ANCIENT ENEMY?

All in Firsthaven witnessed the astonishing battle between Coralynth and Ferigno, and looked on in horror as our beloved bronze friend was struck from the sky by a disgusting torrent of bile from the maw of the Green Worm. Onlookers said as she lay amidst the rubble that she appeared to be dying of poisoning. Just as she took her last shuddering breath, an anonymous eyewitness said she recovered her health suddenly in a flash of bright light. As the light began to fade, it appeared the source of the magic spell was a hazy, shimmering silhouette of a man. From his hiding place, our source says he could hear Coralynth ask the man “Who are you?” The reply: “In life, I was known to men as Hooja the Sly.” He faded away with the last of the light, and Coralynth took wing.

06/13/26

Ferigno and the no good very bad day!

Ferigno wakes up from his nap outside of Firsthaven just in time to see dwarves cresting the hill. He whips his vinelings into formation but sees that he does not have enough. Gathering some of them that he actually cares about, Ferigno takes to the skies, breathing out a cloud of deadly poison on the dwarves. A Magic User hits the Wyrm with a fireball, giving him a little sunburn. But alas! the vinelings he carried did not fare so well.
Angered at this turn of events, he turns around to go home, but decides to pay the citizens of Firsthaven a visit. Ronan’s useless army cowers before the flying menace and Hibobus thag riders abandon their mounts, letting the thags stampede over the dwarves. Thanks Hibobu!
Ferigno soars over the wall and is about to show the citizens why they shouldn’t mess with a dragon, when who should appear but the only being Ferigno hates more than the dwarves! Coralynth! Could this day get any worse? But luck is on Ferigno’s side, as he breathes first and knocks Coralynth out of the sky and onto the Home Stone Temple! Ferigno laughs haughtily as he flies back to the Glarewood. Even as vastly outnumbered as he was, the forces of Good stay losing.

Editors Note: Thus ends the SEEN posts which were composed about the Battle of Firsthaven. The below items were related to the response to the Battle or side stories which were happening concurrently. Unlike a boring Conventional D&D campaign, there are ALWAYS lots of things happening in a BROSR TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN campaign.

6/15/2026

Protector Vandor Missing

For the last few days, no one has seen or heard from Protector Vandor or his ghoul hunters. Gossip spreads amongst the populace of Firsthaven that they have been captured by the ghoul cults, while some believe that Hooja’s assassins killed him as vengeance for the death of their leader. All anyone can agree on is that Firsthaven is no longer safe, and they look to their Prince with eyes filled with hope, desperation, and — perhaps — anger.

06/16/26

Mysterious Masked Martial Artist Mullers Magician!

Chaos in Tootchville today as a man engaged in a flying fist fight with Tootch for several hours. This individual arrived on a chariot pulled by brontosaurs and reportedly introduced himself as the Grand Master of the Order of the Radiant Wombat before demanding vengeance for his old teacher. The conclusion of the battle took place out of sight of Tootchville, but several large and multi-colored explosions were witnessed.

Tootch was seen limping back into town sporting a beauty of a shiner. Of the martial artist, no sign can be found.

06/18/26

Complete Darkness

Thedd Dredd, adventuring once again into the depths of the Hel Dungeon, was seen returning from that foul place with a bandage wrapped around his eyes. Ranak the fighter was leading him back to their accommodations near Tootch’s Tower.

Whispers among the residents suggest that Thedd is looking for a cleric who can cast Cure Blindness. The situation, at least locally, appears very grim for the young cleric.

06/18/26

Mirroring Greatness

Azkin the Elf, adventurer and Hel Delver extraordinaire, has been seen about the Town (village?) of Tootchville in recent days complaining of a "low score" in his recent delve into Helrock. "No jewels at all!" he has been heard to complain, "these humies wanted to waste time investigating evil altars or something. And the altars had NO. JEWELS. AT. ALL." Despite this apparent setback, Azkin was showing off a "cool mirror shield" and celebrating his great cleverness in fastening a "burger king crown" to the head of a comrade whose corpse he apparently left upon a "hel throne" within the dungeon.

Editors Note: Azkin as my Level 1 PC who adventured on 06/16/16 in real session play. I was not the DM that night. Have you ever adventured in the campaign you also DM (most of the time)? If you're a BROSR member, the answer is likely "yes". If you're not a BROSR member your answer is likely "I'm too busy crying about my male pattern balding and funhouse mirror BMI for that!"

06/18/26

Do Clerics Dream of Exploding Frogs?

Stumbling out of Tootch's Tower, Thedd Dredd could be seen holding his stomach in pain, with a soot-covered face and blackened lips.

"What happened to you, Thedd? Can you see again?" one of the Hel Delvers exclaimed.

"It wasn’t magical blindness. It was a curse. Keblar struck a hard bargain. The cure was nearly worse than the disease, as it were. Also, the exploding tadpoles have a cherry taste to them..."

Thedd could be observed making his way back to his cot to recover from the...spicy experience.

06/18/2026

In your Dreams of Glass

At the dim verge of your waking sleep, just outside your peripheral vision, at the edge of sight and sound; stands Chaz.

"It has come to my attention @everyone complains of the inability to communicate in UMBROS. While I have no interest of speaking to any of you, so I see not a problem, I believe I might profit off this development. In honor of the START OF MIDSUMMER on 06/20/2026, you may all pay me for the use of Twilight Whispering by chanting 'Chaz is Great' three times into any mirror in UMBROS. Said mirror will become like water where you might drop your ill gotten coin into my hand. Upon which, you speak into the mirror and your target will receive your message (you dm them and let me know in your DT channel you paid and what you sent)! You're welcome indeed. I can see you now peering into your smart phone, reading this, and tell how pleased you are with me. You should consider blocking the camera with your thumb, my good fellow."
At this he laughs dismissively.
"What is the charge you ask? Let's review. Firstly, the messages must be TWEET LENGTH OR SHORTER. That's 240 chars not some paid for mega-tweet, friend. Matt Walsh you are not! I will charge by the amount you send per month, resetting on the first of each.
First: 150 gp
Second: 330 gp
Third: 660 gp
Fourth: 1,200 gp
Fifth and After: 1,500 gp

And if you TWEET the message as is, and use hashtag #UMBROS #DND #BROXT the cost is 1/3rd! But who might see it.....
So go forth and communicate, you ridiculous humans. I won't keep all your messages for my own use, just your coin. You can trust me. Goodbye. For now."

Editors Note: Chaz is my original character from Trollopulous, the campaign of great note that you can read about NOW on your amazon kindle ebook machine. It's prime day today so give as much money as you can to the evil empire but also to me. Give that money to me as well because I helped write the book. Anyway, I had Chaz introduce this communication method because UMBROS players were complaining that they had no way to communicate and set up convergences and wargames and such. Well for one, that sadly shows they lack creativity and ingenuity. But, for two, that allows Chaz the opportunity to collect cash and secrets from those too lazy and uncreative to realize this. Chaz is a high level NPC at this time. He was player controlled for a time and during a session Braunstein and may be again, soon. I'm not "playing" Chaz but, since it's my character going way back, I find it particularly easy to RP him for important moments and concepts like this. I look forward to seeing if this leads to more communication between players.

6/20/26

Paying Respect

Residents noted that Hibobu and Hildaga were seen ascending to the ruined Temple of the Home Stone. They spent about an hour and returned to the Guildhouse. Asked their purpose Hibobu solemnly answered that they prayed for the safety of the City and its citizens.

06/21/26

Of Thags and Humans

Captain Shulgi of the Merchant’s Guild has been seen talking to any mercenaries he can find in Firsthaven. His men have been posting hand bills and a crier hired to extol the life as a "Shiny Guard"

06/21/26

Hildaga and Her Girl Friends

Hildaga and her girl friends from the Merchant's Guild were seen in fine white gowns carrying baskets of sweetmeats and donuts into the palace. Seems they were handing them out as thanks to the intrepid guards. Although one scullery maid was heard complaining that her "boyfriend" got more than a donut: "Donuts my arse! An him tellin' me 'she's adjustin' me codpiece'. Adjustin'? Adjustin' by the blinkin' stone! Huzzies!"

6/22/2026

Dwarven Caravan Near Tootchville

A caravan of dwarves were spotted traveling on the path through the Purple Hills near Tootchville dragging four covered carts laden with some kind of goods that rattled under their cover. One witness swore that something long, white, and spiked poked out before a distinctly large dwarf tucked it back under the tarp. The caravan was last seen heading in the direction of Tootchville.

06/22/26

A Sound of Thunder**

A clap of thunder booms across the land and the sky darkens. As your ears pop and thrum you hear the tinny metallic voice of Cain the Kinslayer.
"I have heard the chattering fearful voices of everyone. I see you scouring the texts for the deep dark mysteries, searching for the weaknesses of the monsters who prey upon the lands of UMBROS. While I am disappointed in you all for your cowardice and lack of guile, I am also sympathetic to your mortal plight. I will offer you all a gift. I shall bestow upon you the ways of the Monster Hunter. Seek my face and take my mark and I will grant you the secrets you desire in the ancient scrolls of MM, MM2, and FF. STARTING NOW, you may make an offering to me for the blessing of Monster Knowledge Pledge your loyalty to me and I will bestow upon you the information you seek.. Be forewarned. A quest may be required to prove your loyalty and dedication to the Order of Monster Hunters.
(let me know what book you read*)
MM lookup
MM2 lookup
FF lookup

Monday, June 15, 2026

This Week In UMBROS: 06/02/26 to 06/13/2026

Hooja grows old upon losing the
Home Stone shard...

UMBROS continues on as a TOTAL NONSTOP BRAUNSTEIN campaign using Advanced Dungeons and Dragons 1e. The following are reports, rumors, omens, proclamations, and tavern-whispers gathered from the campaign over the last stretch of play.

Most of these are SEEN POSTS made after Downtime Orders are complete/adjudicated. But last week I also ran "Braunstein Session" (such as it was) as the DM and I played as the PC Azkin the Elf (T1/F1) in an Adventuring session where we delved a dungeon. So I was a PC playing (not DMING!) in the module I wrote. While also DMing the Faction Tier play in the same game world.

As I stated today in the ACKS discord: all things may seem possible when it comes to people's D&D campaigns but BROSR campaigns like this have a great deal more of "we did this very cool thing". While non-BROSR campaigns have alot of talk of "wouldn't it be cool if we did this or that cool thing". Below are all things that DID happen in UMBROS. Or false rumors or even false flags about things that did happen...

The reports below are presented in date order.

Editors Note 06/23/26: I had edited this post to add in 3 news articles from the game world date of 06/09/26 through 06/11/26. "The Owl in the Purple Jungle", "The Death of Hooja", "Lost Travelers", "Undead Cults in Firsthaven?". These were played a bit backdated in gameworld time and the SEEN posts were not available when I first published the blog. There are other news items on 06/13/26 for the BATTLE OF FIRSTHAVEN but I'll put those in a different news blog to call more attention to them and the Battle itself.

06/05/26

Keen-eyed citizens of Firsthaven spot merfolk and the dragon Coralynth far out at sea. Her scouts probe closer to the shore to gather information about the unfolding conflict among the drylanders. If the circumstances are right, Coralynth and her children of the sea may involve themselves.

Editor Note: The guy who is trying to help me get UMBROS in print (I lost the master files somewhere along the way... and DTRPG's print shop is so difficult to send properly sized covers etc to. sorry!) has taken on the role of CORALYNTH THE SEA DRAGON. While some told me I should invite the wemmenz division champion to run this ridiculously feminine faction leader of a Love Dragon + Mermaids, my friend assured me he could do justice to the Faction without feeling silly. The faction was based off of Poul Anderson's "The Mermen's Children" (plus a dragon to be a foil to Ferigno) it does, frankly, seem easier to play this faction upon inspiration from various disney princess films.

06/05/26

The human wizard who has been hanging around Tootchville for several weeks was spotted slipping out of town. When interested parties asked what he was doing, he responded: "Can't tell you. NDA."

06/05/26

A TRAITOR CAPTURED

Hooja the Sly was arrested around midday at the Water Buffalo Tavern and Flophouse by Prince Ronan and a cadre of soldiers. After troops surrounded the establishment, he attempted to slip out the back door and quaff an invisibility potion. Alerted by an agent of Ferigno, Prince Ronan tackled him, slathered him with honey and threw flour all over him, allegedly as an anti-invisibility measure, and definitely presenting an interesting sight. Inside sources say Ferigno ordered the double-cross in order to expand his domain into the Umbral Swamps. Hooja is being held upon a charge of sacrilege and attempted murder and awaits justice in an undisclosed location

Editor's Note: This was played out in real session play. Sadly the player of Hooja was not available to do session play; which would have been a fun little chess match between Ronan's player and Hooja's player. I invited other folks who showed up for my Session Braunstein to run Hooja but they declined by giving such excuses as "I'm busy", "I just wanted to listen in and not play", and "Hooja is the worst character of all time and I'd not be caught dead playing him". So I ran Hooja using the usual DM tricks of Reaction Checks, Thief/sneaking checks, etc. His capture was extremely unlikely despite the player himself, in downtime, making what I would consider some bad decisions that put him right in the crosshairs of Ronan and others.

But Ronan's plan to snatch Hooja from the Water Buffalo Tavern and Flophouse was very paladin coded (read: speak loudly and carry a bit stick. Read: kind of dumb) in that he marched up a small army on the tavern. I determined this would easily get noticed by a high level thief from just hearing dinosaur mounts stomp up. So I used Hooja's "Hide in Shadows" check to sneak out of the place and run off. But the player of Hibobu had done a downtime order where his totally-not-thief "girls" were watching the Flophouse. I allowed them to make a Spy check to see Hooja leave. They succeeeded. But Hooja had an invsibility potion which he quaffed to continue his escape.

As you may know (probably not because no one but Jeffro has actually read all of 1e without ignoring the stuff they don't like), 1e allows a low chance to see through magic invisibility if you are high Intelligent and/or High Level. Ronan isn't super smart but he is high level, the only one with a shot to have seen invisible Hooja at that location. He has a 10% chance. I rolled it on a d100... and hit a 7. So as unlikely as it was, Ronan saw him. Quickly tackled him and tied him up. Thus ended my session play that night and this SEEN post.

06/05/26

Shortly after Hooja was dragged off by the Prince the Guild's warehouse doors were thrown open. On a riding thrag, Hibobu himself led a lethel parade to the North Gate. Bystanders counted 12 enormous war thags with their hoodahs in place. The 7 kitten litter of Sabre Toothed tigers led by the little dark skinned leader Imagi. Finally Hildaga now with pink hair in armor and Captain Shulgi in shining Broze armor. The group stopped near the gate. The Thrags waiting patiently. The Tigers circling and snarling also waiting but not so patiently. Hibobu climbs the wall standing among his archers he peers out judging the reaction of the siege to Hooja's capture.

6/6/2026

Ironrider Marches

The gates of Goldhold opened and a small army marched out, singing glad songs of bravery and death. The gruff voice of Ironrider rang out clearest of all, seemingly relishing the opportunity to leave the golden throne. The army moved southwards before observers lost sight of it.

Editor's Note: By way of practicing my adjudication of 1e wilderness travel rules, I ran this in the Braunstein Session. The player of the Dwarves was one of the few who showed up so I figured we could give some flvaro to his travel. I bet he wished it would have been done in solitaire play, where somehow all Players who run their own travel never hit the 70% chance of getting lost in the Forest, but alas it was me. And he got lost in the forest. ALOT. Over and over for days on end. Eventually arriving at his goal of... well I can't tell you because it's secret.

6/6/26

An envoy from the mad wizard Tootch has been seen entering and exiting Prince Ronans palace this past week

06/07/26

Earlier today the Guild Master, Hibobu, could be seen walking along the northern wall followed by his Captain Shulgi and the 10 Elite Guard. The top merchant spent some time among his archers who have been standing the wall since Stinkbreath Ferigno arrived. He joked and back slapped the bowmen talking to each before descending once again entering the Prince’s palace. Some say the archers number 70 but most put the number nearer to 50. Either way that’s a lot of bodkins. In a somewhat related story, Hibobu’s "Shiny Guard" infantry took to an alley near his warehouse and drilled up and down. They practiced in a spear and shield wall, practicing the advance, falling back and turning corners. At one point they invited spectator boys to cast rocks at them while they formed an impressive testudo.

06/07/26

Unexplained anomalies at the Firsthaven Home Stone

“We have just completed our scheduled reconnaissance of the Firsthaven Home Stone, and the situation makes absolutely no tactical sense.
There was a strange, faint magical signature humming directly from stone’s location. Our scouts believe the stone is being hidden. We cannot definitively trace the origin, though the residue bears a frustratingly familiar, arcane frequency that some of our scouts associate with Cain.
Why would anyone—let alone a cleric pretending to hold the line—be slinking around the literal foundation of our domain under the cover of darkness?

6/8/2026

The forces of the dragon arrayed outside the walls of Firsthaven had, for these past weeks, menaced the city. While life had continued, the worried eyes of the women and children and the cautious glances of the men revealed the long shadow of terror that darkened their hearts. How much longer would supplies last? How much longer would the dragon wait, like a sabertooth tiger circling a thag’s calf, before finally he pounces?

A mammoth of a man stood before the Home Stone in its high tower. Sweat from his afternoon in the training yard dripped from his sinewy arms, yet this titanic warrior wept for the people of this city, for the people of this kingdom, even for those of the far places of the Umbral Lands. Darkness seemed to spring unending here, threatening to swallow whole everything good and holy. How could one stand against such darkness?

But the question never crossed his mind, only its answer. He lifted his great sword, its ivory blade gleaming in the Stonelight and spoke with a voice clear and resolute, heard by all nearby. “By strength, by steel, by spilled blood; for justice, for glory, for victory; this city will not fall. This light shall not fade. This torch will be carried across the Umbral Lands until every shadow is banished. This I vow.”

06/08/26

Reports of ravening ghouls encroaching from the West. Though they seem to have had a hard time finding prey, reports are filtering into the civilized regions with striking clarity. These ghouls have been enhanced by Moriva herself and move about shrouded in clinging darkness, seeking the flesh and blood of the living.

Editor's Note: I gave Moriva the Lich Queen faction to a guy who normally runs a low level PC. He said his PCs were "busy training so he wants something to play in downtime". Bet. Like players do he came up with a really weird use of resources by casting Darkness on some ghouls and sending them out to terrorize and bring more ghouls (and treasure?) back to him. Could be interesting!

6/9/2026

The Owl in the Purple Jungle

A local woodsman from Tootchville was out on a hunt in the purple jungle when a giant owl landed on a tree nearby and hooted a surprising greeting in the common tongue. When the woodsman asked if there were any game to be found nearby, the owl rolled his large eyes before responding.
"All you bipeds are the same, asking me all kinds of questions like I know or care about the answers. Hoo hoo. That said, you are taller and less smelly than the last group I talked to. Hoo hoo. Not nearly as well armed though. Hoo hoo."
With that, the owl flew away from the bewildered and disappointed woodsman.

06/09/26

THE DEATH OF HOOJA

The afternoon of June 9th, Hooja was led into the public square of Firsthaven. A crier read out a simple and solemn statement:

"In the name of His Imperial and Royal Highness, Prince Ronan:

Chief Hooja of the Umbral Swamp Tribe has been found guilty upon charges of treason and sacrilege. The sentence is death. Let all who would blaspheme the home stone or bear arms against Firsthaven take warning. Such shall be your fate also if you persist. Sic semper perfidis."

With that, Hooja was put to death and buried in an unmarked grave in a potter's field

6/10/2026

Lost Travelers

A procession of traders from Hibobu moved through Tootchville, stopping briefly for trade and resupply. A particularly perceptive boy noticed that there appeared to be about six figures who had split off from the procession. When the boy asked the traders about them, the trader laughed and tossed up a bronze ring, much too large to fit a finger, with a small gem inlaid and said "Them? Just some lost travelers. I'm sure they know where they're going now."

6/11/2026

Undead Cults in Firsthaven?

While the siege continues, and reports of ghoul attacks from the father settlements of the kingdom trickle in, tensions begin to flare amongst the population of Firsthaven. Several bands of concerned citizens have already drug out and "arrested" multiple persons suspected of participating in the raising of the dead, or having knowledge of such dealings. There is hope that Protector Vandor and his band of watchmen will stamp out the cults once and for all!

06/13/26

Living Large When You're Short

Azkin the Elf Thief/Fighter, recently of the Twilight Pines but now a member of the Hel Delvers was seen enjoying some moderately priced wine at the Goat House Tavern in Tootchland. Some say he was bragging on how successful the recent delve into Helrock was "thanks to me, yet I wasn't able to swipe any extra take from the place. Just an even cut, sad to say." Most rumors say he didn't get particularly drunk and boasts of "high constitution, despite my fun size."

Editor's Note: Azkin is my PC. I played him in a regular dungeon delve. It was pretty fun but I had a long list of suggestions for the other players on how they could suck less, the next day. Among the suggestions were "plan more" and "dont crosstalk the mic" and "roleplay more". All stuff that Gygax put in to last pages of the PHB, of which all the UMBROS PCs are supposed to have read. Did they... or did they ignore Gygax like everyone else for 40 years until Jeffro came around? idk but I hope our success continues and, with me as Caller, I'm certain it will!

06/13/26

Back to (Wizard) School

Serevas, the elven Magic User/Thief, was seen in the upper loft of the shabby barn many of the adventures of Tootchville call home between delves. The typically prideful elf was studiously pouring over his spell book and several arcane scrolls secured from Keblar in exchange for treasures found in the Hel Dungeon. He was also sporting a fancy silver broach on his cloak, which he insists contains powerful magics, though when pressed he was unable to explain what it actually does. The elf was last seen with a jingling sack of coins heading for Tootch’s Tower, no doubt looking to implore the tower’s master to teach him greater understanding of the arcane.

06/13/26

A Terrifying Creature

Residents of Tootchville report seeing an adventuring party return from the Hel dungeon, with an abominable creature in tow.

"Alive without breath..." "As cold as death!" "Ever staring, never seeing." "A decaying flesh, a hellish being..."

The whispers of the residents were quite the mystery. What could Tootch be doing with this...thing?

Monday, June 1, 2026

This Week in UMBROS: 05/25/26 to 06/01/26

UMBROS trots along.

I am running UMBROS as a Type IV Braunstein (Total NonStop Braunstein), which means the world keeps moving between dungeon delves. Players (some who control regular adventurers and some who control Faction Leaders) take actions between live sessions through Downtime Orders. Using SEEN, they send in rumors, omens, tavern talk, battlefield reports, and strange little flashes of life from the setting. Some are true. Some are half true. Some are what a frightened caveman swore he saw after three ales and a bad night.

I then post them, as is, into a news channel on the campaign Discord. Players reaction to this as they like in the subsequent week.

The UMBROS campaign has been running for a few months with an Adventure (dungeon delve) tier and a Faction Tier ran with Type II methods. This essentially creates a TNB! I haven't promoted the campaign much here but realize it might be time.

Most of these news posts are from Players (using SEEN) and not edited by me at all. So the quality of prose is very spotty indeed!

Here is this week’s news from UMBROS.

5/26/26

Those passing by the Glarewood hear rustling within. One soul braving a peek in can see an army of vinelings being assembled. This army of over 70 vinelings looks ready to march out. One vineling was asked what was going on, but only responded with a low groan and tried to eat the wanderer.

Editor's Note: Astute players may have considered the fact that Ferigno was on the march. Some days later he's outside of the LG City of Firsthaven to set a siege! Always pay attention to the news channel!

5/26/26

No Greater Love

Underneath the roiling sky, beneath the ruined stone of the ancient temple, beyond the black and swirling cold, arrows flew and men died. Grark, covered in jackal blood, drove his spear into another as his battle brother Hurok slashed his blade through a jackal’s guts. Tyrone yelled something as he made his way back to the stairs, side stepping Durf’s body as he loosed a silver arrow into the half-skeletal priestess. The thing screamed in pain as the silver seared her flesh, but as Grark looked to Hurok it became apparent that they were thinking the same thing. The battle was lost, and Brokkar is not here.

As the Jackal Spirits and the towering priestess descended the fell stairs towards the pair, Grark interposed himself between Hurok and the oncoming foes. Once before, Grark had not been able to save his brother. Never again. Here he would hold, here he would win, or here he would die.

The fighting was fierce, for nearly an entire minute Grark held off the beasts. A Jackal Spirit lay at his feet, the smoking iron spear lodged in its ribs as the giant priestess lumbered within range of Grark, its horrible claws and skeletal features juxtaposed by the beautiful half-face of a woman yet equal in beastial ferocity. With the last of his strength, Grark launched himself towards the thing, his silver spear plunging deep into the creature as its claws tore through his flesh.

As Grark’s world went red, then black, his last thoughts turned to his friends, hopefully safe beyond the black, and to the Homestone, whose light he wished he could see one last time.

05/26/26

Rumor speeds from the West on Mercury’s winged feet.

At the moment the sphere appeared in the sky at the Eastern end of the continent, the shadows deepened in the West. A frenzy of activity has been reported in the Umbral Lands with reports of a long-buried empire awakening. It is said that this empire is digging for its ruins, seeking something since lost to the millennia.

Beneath all the disparate rumors, however, runs one common thread: for the first time in living memory, the black gates of the fortress of Hel’s Reach have opened.

The dread Lich Queen Moriva walks abroad.

05/26/26

Impatient Tootch

All morning, various golems were seen building a stage of sorts in the beautifully manicured lawn court of lavender grasses that stretch out at the front door to Tootch’s Tower. Around lunchtime, by the light of the Home Stone brightest, Tootch ascended the stage for a presentation. He cleared his throat as if to speak but then, instead, flicked out text from his finger which hung large above the stage like subtitles for those literate enough to read directly from the Mage himself.

Keblar stood next to his master and read out the words for those among the gathering crowd who could not read, which was most. Keblar’s half elven voice droned on with a nasal tinge.

“Peasants. I grow impatient of my need of more wondrous items from the Helrock dungeon. As such, I have researched a better entrance to the dungeon upon Hel’s Rock. The nearby moon pool has been adjusted, with but a gallon or so of Keblar’s elf blood, to teleport directly into the dungeon proper, thus avoiding the snowy wastes upon it entirely. You may thank me this boon by proceeding post haste to said dungeon and retrieving an item I wish, two globs of PRIMEVELL CLAY. I offer 10,000 GP if this is placed in my hand.

As this is to be found on LEVEL 3 of the dungeon, I will provide further boon. If you are a Magic User who has trained with me or my people in the past, you may borrow my Wand of Magic Missiles for THIS particular mission. If you are a new Magic User who I know and have not trained with me or mine, you may still borrow it, but Tootchland gets an adventurers cut of any treasure brought from Helrock in such a case. It is to be returned to me between delves. If you borrow this item on false pretenses I will know. And I will be very perturbed.

Good luck to all of you. Let not the blood of your former comrades weigh heavily on your mind. For it does not mine.”

Editor's Note: The PCs were getting a bit tired of the lethality of "The Hel Delvers", which is the Adventure Tier (or dungeon delve) portion of UMBROS. Sessions are played weekly and up until recently they were DMed by the most lethal BROSR DM in history: Dunder Moose! He's taking a break from DMing but you can check out his session reports to see just how many hapless level 1 PCs he killed on his mission to do DM Jeffro Johnson proud for proving that "PCs deserve less". In any case, I decided that PCs deserve... something... so I created this news story, and worked with the new DM to give PCs a bit of any easier path into the Megadungeon of Helrock and determined that Tootch the Archmage would help them a bit more to survive. We'll see how it goes and if the PCs will brave the megadungeon now that I've put training wheels on it.

05/26/26

Songs from the Sunless Shore

Songs sing from the waves which lap upon the sunless shore,
That Coralynth and her mermaids are thusly on the board.
Her good heart shines like the Core most shimmery,
But will she work with the Good aligned or keep hidden in mystery?

05/27/26

A Storm is Here

Adventurers were seen leaving Firsthaven in search of the missing ranger Brokkar, whose last known whereabouts were somewhere to the southwest of the city. Some say only Prince Ronan returned.

Witnesses as far away as Tootch’s Tower observed many different sights: a lightning storm, a rain of frogs, rivers running with blood, the inner world itself rumbling, and a huge sphere arcing fire out into the sky.

None can say for certain what happened, but none of these visions bode well for humanity in this dark time.

Editor's Note: This is the news report one player came up with for the Party's TPK this week. This may help explain why the Adventuring Players had the sads about campaign difficulty this week.

05/28/26

The Human Wizard who has been hanging around Tootchville these last few weeks has been seen taking evening walks throughout town these last few days. Yes, it has been a slow news day.

05/29/26

The Caravan Sees Trouble

The fog hung heavily over the Dawnspire Mountains as Hibobu’s merchant caravan departed from Goldhold with a shipment of weapons and ale bound for Firsthaven. Yet the distant clangs and rumbles of heavy machinery and the din of gruff voices shouting to each other could clearly be heard.

For just a moment, the light of the Homestone pierced the fog and the merchants glimpsed a warband of over two dozen moving along the craggy paths, pushing two ballistas over the rough terrain.

05/29/26

Firsthaven Besieged

The citizens of Firsthaven woke, rubbed their eyes, and thanked the Home Stone for another morning.

Then a shadow passed overhead.

They rushed to their windows and looked out to see a terrible sight. Ferigno and his army of vinelings were parked outside the city. Anyone wanting to get in or out of Firsthaven would need to get through the Great Wyrm first.

05/29/26

The Tiger Jockeys Make Themselves Known

The little dark skinned tiger jockeys caught some trouble in a Firsthaven pub until they made it clear that they were now under the protection of the Guild Master, not to mention their unruly mounts.

A lesson was learned in that tavern, though likely not the one intended.

05/30/26

Brokkar’s Dream of Glass

Brokkar’s face echoes from your dreams of glass. He breaks from the echoes into somber silence, the bloody implement clasped tight in his fist. Before him lies the sacrificial altar, the terrible cult arrayed around it. At their center, smiling with sadistic glee, is the Helpriest, Brokkar’s torturer.

He utters a single command.

“Come.”

All of Brokkar’s muscles relax. His mind and heart scream, but the body does not obey. Step by step he follows the finger of the Helpriest. First to be examined, then to the altar.

Above, at the center of the whirling clouds, is a single object. It appears as a stone in the sky, yet silver and white, gentle in its light.

Is it the sister of the Home Stone?

The implement drops to the ground with a small clatter as voices begin to rise. Brokkar’s mind reels, nausea sets in, the etchings across his body begin to flare with blue light, and a curved black dagger is raised.

Then it plunges.

Then darkness.

Edtior's Note: Brokkar was one of the Adventurers who died in the TPK. He wrote this cool little piece to me about it (while the other PCs just messaged me with "X is Dead") so I thought it deserved a spotlight, even though spotlight's ain't nothing but jive.

05/31/26

A Sailor Was Overheard in a Dockside Tavern

“I know what I saw. Them humans skulking on the beach was hunting for treasure, plain as day. One of ’em held a map while another was counting out the steps. Only, I saw ’em leave the beach, and then upon my return, there they were on a second beach further up the coast.

If only we could get a boat and some shovels...”

05/31/26

The Merchants Return

The merchants of the caravan bringing the second shipment of iron and silver weaponry from Goldhold to Hibobu returned to Goldhold looking much worse for wear.

They reported a warband of brigand orcs in the Dawnspire Mountains inhabiting an ancient ruined fort, from which they narrowly escaped.

06/01/26

The Second Stone

Swirling clouds gathered in the Dawnlands west of Firsthaven. In the deepest darkness, long after the Home Stone’s light faded, the sky broke apart and a thunderous shatter echoed for miles.

A circle of silver light soon appeared, as if an otherworldly beam cast its blessing upon all that basked in it.

The clouds soon widened to reveal an immense circular stone. A sister to the Home Stone? A sign of Hel’s dominion? An omen of war?

Observer accounts vary.

Some say they saw the face of Hel herself. Others saw a strange box of black and gold. Others still claimed to see their lost brethren and fallen heroes.

Hours later, the Home Stone’s glow returned, its soft light a small comfort as the dark clouds remained.

06/01/26

Hibobu Walks the City

Hibobu was observed moving about the city and visiting the palace more than usual. Lately he walks with Captain Shulgi and his ten Elite guards. All seem nervous and on their guard.

06/01/26

Statement from Goldhold

A letter was sent from Goldhold to Tootchville and Firsthaven:

“Orcs in the Dawnspire Mountains are disrupting trade. Pressing matters prevent Goldhold from taking military action in response. Goldhold seeks able bodied adventurers to locate and defeat the orcs.

1500 GP reward for the head of the orc chief and recovery of stolen goods, as well as admittance into Goldhold.

Cog Nostril need not apply.”

06/01/26

Hildaga Enjoys Herself

Seemingly unconcerned about events, Hildaga (Hibobu’s girl Friday), was seen buying new shoes and then treating her “girls” to a fine meal.

They were later seen tipsy and dancing in a pub.

Editor's Note: Civilization may tremble. Hildaga, apparently, does not.

06/01/26

Cain Awakened

The presence of monstrous activity awakened Cain from his meditative slumber in Firsthaven.

Cain was heard in fervent Norse prayer, sounding as if he were sending out a call:

“Ahl fah thir, ek bith thess aht thoo vay tir mair bloh tahn aht ay tha skree pum ee nahf nee thee noo.”

After some time, electricity sparked along the sides of the stronghold, and another booming, otherworldly voice was heard speaking Norse in response:

“Ek geff thair reh yin koon nah uhnd ahr hleeff.”

As electricity continued to arc up and down the perimeter of the stronghold, Cain was heard preparing a myriad of blessings and spells.

One witness at the scene claimed:

“I was just standing there minding my own business when I heard Cain’s wild voice sounding like a thunderstorm. I heard him saying something about preparing a Heroes’ Feast. I had no idea that dude could even cook.”

Editor's Note: I bullied this player into taking some action since he has been nonresponsive for weeks now. Bullying works, kids.

Closing Note

So ends this week in UMBROS.

Firsthaven is besieged. Tootch wants his clay. Moriva the undying is back. A second stone hangs in rumor and nightmare above the world. Cain has stirred, and when Cain stirs, wise men stop laughing.

Next week, we will see which rumors become quests, if Ferigno's Siege of Firsthaven continues (or is broken by bold men of Good!), and which adventurers decide that 10,000 gold pieces is worth walking into Hel’s basement with a borrowed wand and a prayer.

Monday, March 16, 2026

The "Winning Secrets" to having a D&D Campaign with Wargaming

Introduction

For years, perhaps decades, a certain refrain has echoed through the halls of the Dungeons and Dragons and tabletop RPG world: “D&D is a wargame.” The claim is correct, though seldom understood. D&D is indeed a wargame, yet in practice its players will rarely engage in any genuine wargame unless Braunstein principles are brought to bear.

A Braunstein is a game mode in which “there are multiple independent actors operating in (potential) conflict under a fog of war” (Credit: Griff Morgan and Jeffro Johnson). The game mode itself was first tried by David Wesely back in the dark old days before his game inspired Gygax and Arneson to create D&D.

All of that, however, lies in the past. What concerns us here is the present and future of Real D&D play. More precisely, how you, yes you, may employ the Braunstein approach to run campaigns that keep your players engaged and playing actual games, including wargame battles, at your real or virtual tabletop.

The BROSR has been experimenting with the Braunstein form for about three or four years now. A great deal of real and digital ink has been spilled about the Braunstein form by the BROSR and by Jeffro Johnson, its chief architect and interpreter, that Jeffro, myself (BDubs1776), and Rule of Thule have written an entire book called "Winning Secrets" on the subject.

But this work is not concerned with the recent history of the BROSR. Even since the book was written, new ideas have arisen that carry Braunstein play to a still higher form.

The new concepts in question are called Docketing (originally created by myself [BDubs1776]), GOSS (originally created by Doomstone Crom), and SEEN (originally created by DM Serious). To understand these concepts you will need to completely change the way you imagine a D&D campaign.

Stop conceptualizing D&D in the conventional manner of four best friends getting together with their adventure party to tackle a series of challenges presented by their Forever DM pal. Start conceptualizing D&D as a Braunstein where those four Player Characters (PCs) may level into domains with competing and opposite interests. When the Paladin gains a Holy Empire and the Thief takes over a thieves guild, those characters will necessarily work at odds. Braunstein play helps you play and adjudicate this competition.

You may say “I don’t like PVP” or “my PC always cooperates with the other PCs”. But, if you refuse to pursue the interests of your PC simply because it will bring him into conflict with another PC, you are not Roleplaying.

Recently in my campaign of UMBROS, based on my free module set in the primeval world of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ “Hollow Earth” setting, there was a massive wargame that resulted directly from Real D&D (meaning Braunstein) play. You can download a FREE PDF COPY of UMBROS here. I will describe how that happened and how I adjudicated it, how co-DMs ran it, and how the Players played it. But first, I need to explain these esoteric terms. To initiate you into the greatness of BROSR thought.

Docketing

Let’s start with Docketing. When you run a Real Braunstein style D&D campaign, players will begin to work at odds. Sometimes this happens naturally. Other times the DM deliberately constructs the campaign world, as I did, with high level faction leaders run by real players who begin play already at odds.

They will often “send out armies, agents, or schemes that inevitably collide with one another in Convergence. Resolving these conflicts instantly at the main table (or over private message) often reduces them to a coin flip or a single die roll, draining away the very drama that makes Braunstein style play exciting. Docketing is the referee’s remedy: a way to log these clashes so they can be played out later as a full wargame, skirmish, or role-played confrontation. By docketing, the referee preserves momentum at the campaign level while ensuring that no faction’s or PC’s moves are trivialized.

To do this the Referee creates a sort of Scenario Sheet based on the Downtime Orders (or in Session results) he receives. It will list the Faction, the troops and officers involved, the date in the game world when the actual Wargame Battle is to happen, and any special stipulations for the Wargame Battle.

Then, not only can the Referee or a Co-Referee oversee the Wargame Battle; the Battle itself can have any person play any side of the conflict! The actual Players of those Factions or PCs or whatever do NOT need to be the one(s) who show up to play out the scenario.

The penalty to the original Players in this case could be you simply having their forces quagmired in some way until such time that the Battle is played out.

Lastly, you are not required to only Docket battles due to Downtime Orders. You, as the Referee, can choose to Docket a battle decided upon due to Session Play or actions during a [...] Session Braunstein. You also do not need to Docket wargame battles, only. You can Docket skirmish fights or even roleplay style meetings between PCs or Faction leaders. As you explore and use Docketing, more ways of using it than even I imagined will occur to you!” (UMBROS page 69)

If you are a tabletop gamer with red blood in your veins, this will all sound very exciting. But, real Braunstein Style D&D play had a major problem of the Fog of War part of the Braunstein being so thick that no one even knew enough of what was going on around the game world to react to it.

GOSS

To pierce the fog of war without drowning the game in complex subsystems, Doomstone Crom introduced a brilliant method called GOSS. I described it in UMBROS as follows:

“Rather than relying on difficult sub-systems like those found in other Fantasy Adventure Games

produced recently, GOSS focuses on a simple resolution method of one dice roll for each major

action taken. All the Referee needs to do is gather all the Downtime Orders or even in Session Orders the various PCs and Faction Leaders take then make a single check for each [action then create a campaign news report for that action].” (UMBROS page 72)

For the UMBROS approach to GOSS you roll an eight sided die for each action a PC or Faction Leader (or whatever) takes in your game world. Then report the actions into a news channel on your discord server (or verbally if you’re playing in person) for each game world turn. Here are the possible results which will inform the DM’s news report:

1 Public Knowledge

2 to 3 Target’s Secret

4 to 5 False Rumor

6 to 7 Hidden Action

8 Deception and Framing

“I need not elaborate on how every roll can create the possibility of exciting Convergences.

The Referee will need to use his best judgement to avoid absurdity with GOSS. A massive army

marching outside the city’s gates can’t be a Hidden Action. An assassination attempt which is played out and rolled with the best possible result for the assassin shouldn’t become Public Knowledge. And Players successfully Spying from the Rules as Written should be able to see through False Rumors or Deception and Framing. Yet, with GOSS, the Referee has a powerful tool to assure his Braunstein style campaign simmers with excitement and occasionally explodes with action; whether his players are trying to hide from each other or not!” (UMBROS page 73)

The GOSS method seemed revolutionary at the time I wrote UMBROS. But it has two problems which every real DM will contend with:

The DM will need to be very creative very frequently with his GOSS generated news reports.
There may be less player buy in since the DM will be creating much of the world and news.

Both of these problems are addressed with SEEN.

SEEN

Created by DM Serious for his Drakonheim campaign in 2025, SEEN is an incredible, and deceptively simple, evolution of GOSS. With SEEN you run GOSS as normal, but instead of the DM writing the news report, the Player is tasked with doing so. Additionally, to help prevent the Player from “turtling” to avoid conflict: the action the Player took does not truly occur until it is SEEN.

A small change, no? Yet this small change produces remarkable results.

First, the DM is no longer the sole arbiter of the world’s narrative when it comes to inventing engaging or “fair” news stories.

Second, players who are tasked with writing news reports about their own actions develop far greater investment in the game world. They begin to relish opportunities for psyops when they are given results such as “False Rumor” or “Deception and Framing.”

Soon players begin to consider their actions carefully, knowing that whatever they attempt may eventually be SEEN.

Most importantly, when GOSS and SEEN operate in tandem, the result is transformative. A game changer. A gameworld changer.

And I have a simple scenario from a real UMBROS Braunstein campaign to prove it.

The Battle of the Three Armies

I serve as the Referee who adjudicates the downtime orders in an ongoing UMBROS campaign.

Back in February, Ferigno the Green Dragon sent me a Downtime Order declaring that he would infiltrate the vault of Dwarf Lord Cointhrall and poison the dwarves’ water supply. GOSS determined that Ferigno did not get away with this without being SEEN. When I informed Ferigno that he had been discovered during his operation, he fled the vault, his Dragon Fear ability scattering nearly all of the dwarves present and preventing them from mounting a serious attack.

However, the GOSS roll for the event came up “False Rumor.” Because of this, I allowed Cointhrall to compose the SEEN post describing what the world would hear about the incident. He provided the following report which implied Ferigno had be severely injured:

“Ferigno was driven out of his surprise attack on Goldhall by the staunch dwarven defenders. Several witnesses attest that blood poured from a massive gash along the dragon’s flank. Three great cheers for Cointhrall as he addressed his sons, his enchanted blade still smoking with the green beast’s black blood. “Let it be known that once Ferigno drove us from our halls, but never again! The King has returned to his throne, and it’ll take more than that to remove him!” Many oaths of vengeance for the trespass into the dwarves’ hallowed halls follow, promising to finish off Ferigno once and for all!”

During the week of 03/10/2026, I received the following orders (paraphrased):

Ferigno the Green dragon ordered that he and his vineling horde would fly south towards the wizard tower owned by Tootch the Archmage. He would cross over the Dawnlands to get there.
Cointhrall the Dwarven Lord ordered he would be marching like 100 dwarves out into the center of the Dawnlands to meet up with Hibobu the Merchant’s army. They’d then proceed to Ferigno’s lair and attack Ferigno.
Hibobu the Merchant would take his thag riders and his elite guard to meet with Cointhrall in the center of the Dawnlands. He’d then march with Cointhrall on Ferigno’s lair and attack Ferigno.

I suspect Hibobu chose to join Cointhrall in this venture because he believed Ferigno had been badly wounded, thanks to the previous SEEN report.

When I reviewed the incoming orders it quickly became clear that a mass combat wargame battle was inevitable. Based on travel speeds, I determined that Ferigno would encounter the allied forces of Cointhrall and Hibobu in the center of the Dawnlands. That is where the battle would occur.

Accordingly, I created a Docket with the following summary:

“Ferigno, while flying south from the Glarewood towards the Purple Hills, came across a group of dwarves from Cointhrall's vault. They were mustering at this location with Hibobu and some of his contingent. Ferigno begins battle on ground being lazy as he was becoming bored and tired of waiting on his "infantry" who are so much slower than him. Ferigno should have limited time to prep 4 battle as, due to his frustration with his infantry's slow pace, he was pondering a nap. He's not fully surprised but he did not see the other army coming from far off.”

I provided Orders of Battle with one army being Ferigno and about 70 vinelings. The other army being Cointhrall, about 100 dwarves, 2 ballistae, Hibobu and his “Shiny Gaurd” of elite fighters and 10 Elite Thag Riders. Thags are like giant dinosaur bull things that are used as draft and war mounts in UMBROS.

I had the following Special Instructions: “Ferigno values his vinelings but he will not lose his life for them. Will flee if takes half HP damage. Hibobu is a Thief/Merchant so he will hide if he takes any damage or is targeted with missile attacks.”

I circulated the Docket among players in the UMBROS Discord server, as well as a few other servers, with the instruction that the wargame battle would require a Referee to run it. I did not volunteer for the role.

Around 03/08/26 the battle was played out. The players representing Ferigno, Cointhrall, and Hibobu recruited a Referee who goes by the Discord name Luko Lionheart. Keep in mind it is not necessary for the Players who sent the Downtime Orders (and normally play those faction leaders) to be the ones to play out the wargame battle itself. We can assume the threat of having their forces quagmired inspired them to move quickly to recruit Luko to Referee.

After the game, Luko sent me the results on 03/09/2026, including a round by round breakdown of orders and outcomes, along with the final troop losses.

I rolled GOSS to determine how news of the event would spread and received “Public Knowledge.” So I composed a report for the UMBROS News Network channel. I chose not to assign a SEEN post to any player in this case, since it made more sense for me to condense the lengthy battle report Luko provided.

The UMBROS News Network carried the following account:

“Across the domains of Umbros word spreads of a mighty clash in the Dawnlands. Ferigno the Green Dragon met Cointhrall, Dwarf Lord of Goldhold, in open battle and the field ran red before the day was done. Both rulers marched with large hosts. The Gem Sons of Goldhold came ready with engines and axes to bring down the ancient wyrm. Ferigno answered with ranks of vinelings eager to bind and crush their foes beneath living vines and brambles.

A third power was present as well. Hibbobu marched from the south with disciplined footmen, and powerful thag riders; joining his strength with the dwarves as their forces advanced north to meet the dragon.

Ferigno was the first to act. Though the dragon is often accused of indolence he moved with sudden purpose, twisting through the sky while dwarf ballistae hurled bolts toward him. His clumsy flight maneuverability did not allow him to essentially teleport across the field like so many lesser game systems. Thank you 1e! He instead picked up speed towards the Dwarven ranks.

On the ground the battle unfolded in violent strokes. Thag riders burst from cover and thundered toward the vineling left flank. Hibbobu's footmen pushed forward to strengthen the dwarven formation while the Stonegard prepared their charge.

When the thags crashed into the vinelings the slaughter was immediate. Tusks tore through vines and brambles and dozens of the plant creatures fell beneath the assault while the thags bellowed to the curved skies. At the same moment the Stonegard surged forward and smashed another host of vinelings into ruin.

For a brief moment the field rang with dwarf victory cries.

Then Ferigno arrived.

The dragon closed the distance in a single terrible rush and loosed a torrent of burning acid across the field. Lord Cointhrall and the warriors beside him were engulfed in the corrosive storm and fell where they stood. Shock rippled through the dwarven ranks as word spread that their lord had been slain. The line faltered and began a hard fighting withdrawal. Even the dwarf ballistae crews abandoned their engines in the chaos.

Seeing the field broken Ferigno turned his wings northward, content to leave the shattered vinelings to whatever fate awaited them. Yet before the dragon could escape the dwarf hero known as F4 seized Cointhrall's Dragonslayer sword. With grim resolve he bound the blade to a ballista bolt and drew back the great engine for one desperate shot.

The field fell silent.

F4 released the bolt.

It screamed through the air toward the retreating wyrm and missed its mark.

Ferigno's laughter echoed across the Dawnlands as he vanished into the northern sky, satisfied that at last his ancient enemy Lord Cointhrall lay dead upon the field. The survivors of the battle scattered, and the tale of the three armies now travels from hall to hall throughout Umbros.”

Conclusion

Whether their PCs were first level dungeon delvers venturing forth under DM Dunder Moose, faction leaders participating in the occasional Braunstein session with DM Gelatinous Rube, or simply men submitting downtime orders to me, the players were astonished and excited by what this event might mean for UMBROS.

None of it would have been possible without Docketing. It would not have come together without GOSS. And it would scarcely have mattered to anyone beyond the immediate participants without SEEN.

Together these methods of running a REAL D&D campaign have produced something rare: a Braunstein style fantasy world that lives, moves, and rewards those bold enough to adventure within it.

Will you try it or will you keep playing in conventional (meaning boring) D&D games?