Marco_AGJ

I try to avoid modern movies as much as I can, but when I saw this I thought it would be some dumb fun for an hour and a half. And oh boy, I was 50% right. The dump part is certainly there, but the fun isn't.

This movie checks all the boxes on why modern movies are atrocious. The ridiculous girl-power premise, the cringe unfunny attempts at comedy, the feminist messaging, the youngster who bosses parents around, the pseudo-dramatic subplot that has no purpose, the random character traits that add nothing, the "edgy" senseless ending. This movie has it all.

The "couple" -- I use that term loosely here, it's more fitting to call the predator/victim situation -- has zero chemistry. The build up for any romantic comedy is certainly the hardest part, because it can easily feel forced. This one is the champion of all forced plots. Absolutely nothing makes sense.

The boy is supposed to be timid, introspective. Yet, after a short while, he's not only quite comfortable with the absurd situation with the girl, he's able to sing and play the piano to a group of dozens of strangers, he also feels pretty sure of himself to juggle the parents and the girl at the breakfast table when he find out, and to confront his parents with the maturity and understanding of what should be done to help of an expert psychologist. It's beyond ridiculous.

It also throws in random character traits that are just there for the sake of it. It's what modern filmmakers think adds depth to characters. For example, Jennifer Lawrence's character rides inline skates, supposedly because she doesn't have a car, and to make her appear more quirky or something. She rides to the parents house to accept the job, and when she gets there, she has to climb a set of stairs to meet the parents, who are at the top. She simply doesn't take off the skates! She tries clumsily going up the stairs with the skates on. They put it there as a comedic moment, but it's just stupid, there's nothing even remotely funny about it, and it actually drives you mad at the idiocy.

The attempts at comedy are certainly ridiculous, but other moments can be just as bad. Like the fact that Jennifer's character somehow can fight off a group young bullies at the beach, or the fact that they expect you to feel sad about some nonsensical subplot about a couple having to move to another state -- they somehow try to make this seem like it's the ultimate drama; and it's just them moving.

This movie is a perfect example of how nothing is safe from modern filmmakers. They are a source of corruption, devastating everything that is even remotely decent.

With what has been reported as budget for this series it was never a doubt that it would shine in its technical prowess. It does look absolutely phenomenal, and sounds just as great too. Unfortunately, that's about it.

The series seem weirdly all over the place. Galadriel is searching for the evil that she somehow senses, and for that she became the quintessential "soldier boy". You know the type, the rigid persona, the stoic countenance, the unwavering focus on "the job". The most boring attempt at a deep character one could think of.

The first episode lasts for one hour, and at the end, you feel like nothing worthwhile came from it aside the cliffhanger to hook you back to the second one. Useless dialog after useless dialog, pretty words abounding. Rarely have you seen nothing being said so beautifully.

I really don't get the scope. One can barely put together what's going on and suddenly we're on the other side of Middle-Earth with a whole new group of people dealing with a whole new story-line. There's a forced attempt at epicness that's permeating the whole viewing. If they just stopped trying to sound poetic at every line spoken, they could probably achieve some kind of depth and coherence. Everything falls flat because there's really no point to anything beside showcase the beautiful scenery. They nailed that at least.

Frankly, the series is bland and pointless. The well-crafted environments should only provide the glue to hold everything together in a grand storyline, not serve as the main feature.

This movie could be summarized as three portions of roughly 1 hour each, totalling a whopping 3-hour movie. I have to say, had this movie been a 2-hour deal, with them collecting the stones from the past and snapping their fingers to make everything right, it would at least have been decent. But no, they had to create a cringe fest.

The first half is interesting enough, it builds up on how the erasure of half of the population affected the lives of everyone. It felt like a movie, albeit a very long and tedious one. The second portion is still decent, it revolves around them going back in time to try to right the wrongs of the present. It goes through some of the scenes found in the first Avengers movie, which was interesting. Yes, it's basically a time travel story, how original.

The last portion is just ridiculous. It's basically a gigantic battle between Thano's minions and several super-heroes of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. There's no rhyme or reason for anything that happens there, it's just a constant shift from one super-hero to another, showcasing some individual battle where they ultimately triumph. Who is winning? Who is losing? What's happening on a grand scale? No one knows. It's just dumb Hollywood crap.

Aside from the clichéd time travel story - and a very bad one at that -, the whole movie revolves around two Deus Ex Machina moments. In one of them, Captain Marvel saves Iron Man from dying of oxygen depletion in space. He eventually goes on to discover a way to travel back in time, allowing everything that comes after to happen. The other, Captain Marvel descends from the sky to destroy the main ship which Thanos was using to invade the Earth. Having one of the highest budgets of all time for a plot like this is unacceptable.

This is just a celebration about everything that is wrong with Hollywood. It's stupidity taken to the extreme. The fact that this movie is a box office success just shows how much marketing plays a role in crafting a successful movie. Yes, crafting success in and of itself, because the substance for it is just not there.