the_fifth_horse

Part of me wants to give this film 10/10, 'cos it's a hoot. The acting is awful. The dialogue is diabolically bad. But the film seems (I hope!) to know this, to revel in this, and to have its tongue firmly in its cheek. It's a throwback to so-bad-they're-good 80s horrors like Ghoulies and House, and I commend its vision in this respect (again, I'm hoping that it's intentional - if they thought they had a genuinely good film on their hands here, it'd be quite awkward). The titular flesh eaters are good fun, but best bit of the film by far is hearing the "hitman" continually pronouncing the name of the - ahem - dwarf cannibal tribe.

The film has a good beginning, the atmosphere and setting developed exquisitely. But then somewhere along the line - I think when Father Burke and Sister Irene become separated, and equally bonkers nonsense happens to both of them - it just collapses into hokum. Half-way through, I was thinking: This is pretty good actually. Ten minutes later I lost that feeling, and really started to hate it. Mercifully, I had already given up on it completely by the time Wan's answer to The Meg happened. A second watch might alleviate some of my sense of betrayal... but I doubt it. Do see it, if only for the impeccable atmosphere. Just prepare to be disappointed.

Ignore the bad reviews. Or at least adjust your expectations. Alright, this isn't a serious horror film.... There are plenty of those: Insidious, The Conjuring, etc; perhaps too many. This is just silly fun, with good gore/deaths, a neat twist on the evil-in-the-basement trope (Amityville meets Alien: Resurrection), and orgasms galore. It's memorable, at least. I would like to thank the creator for brightening up my day.