kking-68641

Nothing that happens makes any sense, and a good deal of it is not possible according to the laws of physics.

Suddenly a brainwashed girl decides to stop taking her daily vitamins...because, reasons...then she convinces her ultra-conformist friend-turned-enemy to also stop taking her vitamins by the very convincing ploy of ... telling her to. This random decision turns out to be extremely clever in retrospect because it reveals all the secrets. And it's all downhill from there.

Some other things happen because of reasons, but our intrepid heroes are determined and therefore cannot be stopped by the laws of physics or logic.

A small teen girl needs to take the hinges off a large, locked, steel security door using only a plastic key card? Okay, no problem.

She needs to beat up and knock out a beefy security guard who is three times her size? Okay, no problem.

She needs to convince someone who doesn't trust her to believe an unbelievable story that contradicts everything they've ever known? Okay, no problem.

And the liberties they take with medicine - don't even get me started. And that ending..."watch me make all our problems go away with this one simple trick that makes doctors furious!" Boom, bang, a bit of movie magic and all is ... resolved? Or something?

Ugh.

Two stars because some of the acting was kind of okay. But I almost wish it had been worse because then it might have been amusing instead of just eye-rollingly dull and ridiculous.

I saw the plot points coming from miles away, but I still had fun watching it unfold. The predictability killed some of the drama, losing it a couple of stars, but I liked the action.

A good solid movie, fun to watch. You've seen it before, but if you're okay with an old plot remade then you'll probably like this one. I liked the characters and the dialogue was pretty good. I especially liked the character arc for the young girl, Ani.

There are many worse ways to fill a couple of hours.

The plot is cheesy and unbelievable, the dialogue is cheesy and unbelievable and delivered in monotones, the acting is lifeless and unbelievable.

I got the feeling it was written that way on purpose to try to give it a certain tone. Unfortunately that tone is monotone. I like my trained assassin revenge stories to have some passion, and this one had all the passion of a rock at the bottom of the arctic ocean.

I assume the plot is supposed be over-dramatized, with the fancy assassin club and super fake-looking "cover" businesses and the super-sinister boys-club "company" that does ... things of some sort, I assume. Other than order people to be assassinated by the girls-club assassin guild. But it was so badly over-stylized that it just came across as stiff and fake.

It also skipped over the big fight scenes, I assume because they couldn't make them look believable - not that that stopped them in any other scene.

It does have the dubious honor of being by far the most boring assassin movie I've ever seen.