karmicboom

Look, I don't want the people reading this to think I'm an a**hole right out of the gate. I happen to agree with alot of the ideas that this film puts forth: For instance, I agree that frat boy culture is weird, culty, and misogynistic. I agree that rape is one of the worst things you can do to a human being, and those who engage in it should be locked up and have the book thrown at them. And I would LOVE to have see a horror movie that tackles these subjects.

The problem is, the makers of this film seemed more interested in being cheeky and spiteful than actually having a frank discussion about these issues. They also seemed to have forgotten that they were making a horror movie, because it's not scary, and most of the kills happen offscreen. So essentially, what you're left with is a slasher movie with toothless and juvenile social commentary, and no kills to at least give you the cheap thrills of a slasher film.

Watch Promising Young Woman instead.

Leaving aside how completely outlandish the very premise of this movie is (I took two Philosophy courses in college. Absolutely nothing that Kevin Sorbo does in this movie would fly for a second) this movie is still complete nonsense.

Who is this movie for? Who actually watches a movie like this and comes away thinking that it's representative of reality in ANY conceivable way? It makes no attempt to have a serious conversation about the subject it's addressing. The farfetched plot, the lazily constructed characters, and ludicrous dialogue are all just there just so the filmmakers can thumb their noses at liberal and atheist strawmen.

I guess if you're a religious person who never leaves the house, and gets their worldview from Fox News, this is the perfect movie for you.

But if you're a religious person with a brain in your skull, steer clear of this hateful garbage.

So, after nearly 3 agonizing hours, I finished Blonde. This is less a film, and more a sadistic endurance test. While, I can say plenty of positive things about the acting technical aspects (Ana De Armas is trying with all her might to bring soul and empathy to this thing) it's all in service to a film that is cruel, exploitative, and above all, pointless. Even more so, now that I know that a majority of the events portrayed in this film are either crassly exaggerated or made-up entirely. The filmmaker seemed less interested in portraying the actual tragic events of Norma Jeane's life with empathy and tact, and more interested in shocking the audience and tugging at their heart strings with all the subtlety of a 2X4 to the face. It's an utterly miserable experience, with nothing substantial or meaningful to justify it.