justchillz
Joined May 2014
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This heartbreaking story is not what Jennifer did, but what privileged White male detectives who see the world from their narrow lens of privilege believe she did - namely, men who have never experienced economic abuse, sexism, or adversity. Police similarly treat wives who kill their husbands after years of emotional abuse. Financial abuse is legally recognized domestic violence. Jennifer's only earnings came from tutoring piano and her father collected all those earnings as repayment of the money she took for fake classes, tuition money that went to Wong, another controlling man.
They have no idea what it is like to be a woman without privilege and always in fear of poverty. Women who spend years trying to please their perpetually displeased husbands with their appearance, accolades, how they talk, cook, control their finances become stifled and afraid to leave. Wong controlled her like her father. He basically dumped her for another girl, if she did not leave her parents, and her father said he would disown her if she did not break up with Wong. Jen is Wendi Adelson, her parents' possession.
She was in a situation where none of the men in her life actually loved her. She was easily replaceable to Wong and a possession/object to her father. Her father wanted to rule her. He did not love her. If her father loved her, he would have wanted her to be happy, but her happiness never factored or mattered to her father.
This girl was no different than an abused wife whose husband never allows her to leave his side. In 2010, after her lies were uncovered by her father, she was under house arrest. Her living conditions were worse than prison. She was constantly reminded of her failures and not fulfilling their expectations. She was not even allowed to enter a store unsupervised. The only time she was unsupervised was when she was at piano lessons and tutoring piano a couple of times a week and her parents dropped her off and picked her up.
Her piano teacher knew something was wrong when she had a meltdown at a piano lesson and started crying a few weeks earlier and told him how her parents would not let her go anywhere unsupervised. He was her only support system and his response was just like any White native-born man, just like the police officer -- why cannot she just leave her parents and be free. She's in her twenties. Amish children do it all the time and get shunned by the entire community, but it is not the same.
Amish kids that can leave their community did not grow up being told how much of a disappointment they are, how worthless they are, how they cannot survive without their parents' financial support, and that without them they have no once. In fact, when Amish kids leave their community, they gain a community of shunned amish friends who can relate to their experiences. Jennifer did not have that.
Like an emotionally abused wife, it is easy for outsiders, especially White men, to say why did not she just leave. Emotionally abused women have scars that go deeper than women who have been physically abused by their husbands. Husbands who physically abuse their wives apologize and tell the wife they love them, which is why she goes back to him. He has issues with rage and addiction, but her pain is recognized and he does love her.
An emotionally abused women's scars are invisible. Her husband has controlled their finances for years. He has sucked any bit of confidence she has in herself. He does not allow her to have contact with her friends or family, any person who could help her to see that she is a victim or who actually loves her.
Jennifer had no one to love her, only a parent who berated her and compared her to her successful engineer brother, who was conveniently excluded from the documentary. Children who are abused are equally traumatized by the bystander parent. The non-abusive parent is as bad as the abuser, because they allowed the other parent to abuse them. To a child, a parents love should be unconditional and parents to protect their child, not instil fear that they will not love them if they do not fulfil their expectations.
Jennifer's actions were bad, but how she interacted with the police men demonstrated an inherent fear of men. She never asked for a lawyer and was afraid of the police who were interrogating her. Compare how she spoke to police to the teenager daughter of Joanne Witt who helped her boy friend kill her mother who was White. She spoke confidently with police and she was treated more like a victim, because she was White and her boy friend was guilty of statutory rape. The mother never abused her daughter.
Jennifer's interactions with police are akin to an abused wife who is confused, shocked, naive and vulnerable. Police can lie and she will fall for it, because she does not know her rights and has never had any rights. Compare Witt's White daughter to her and you can see White privilege. Witt's daughter had more control than the male police officers interrogating her. She thought they were all dumb, while Jennifer, like an abused wife is terrified of life without the abuser she had killed. The contract killing of her parents was ALL Wong. He wanted control of Jennifer, but Jennifer was afraid of life without her parents/abusers.
Wives who are oppressed for years and berated by husbands either commit suicide or end up killing their husband's too. Emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse. She was treated like a prisoner in her own home. Her parents picked her up and dropped her off at piano. At all other times of the day, she was supervised by her parents, when she was in her twenties. She was not even allowed in a grocery store alone. That is the life of an abused wife. She had no friends, no one to love her unconditionally. People do not understand that these wives do not see any other option. They have no confidence in themselves and believe they cannot survive without their husband's financial support, because that is what he uses to control and manipulate her into staying. He scares her that she will be homeless and without financial aid without him, which keeps her trapped in a marriage where her every move is controlled and supervised and she is repeatedly berated. He isolates her from any friends or family who could intervene.
Jennifer grew up in a patriarchal household. Her brother was sent to a private school, while she was sent to a public Catholic school. Her brother was the golden child, set up to succeed. Her brother had good teachers, while public school high school teachers are White people with privilege but not enough ambition to do post graduate training. They are gatekeepers, only concerned with maintaining the status quo. The only place an immigrant child, like myself, could succeed was mathematics where teacher's could not be subjective in their grading.
She struggled in math and language, failed grade 12 calculus and had her early admission offer rescinded and did not graduate high school. I cannot even imagine how she felt to have an admission offer rescinded and fail to graduate high school. I also do not understand why her parents did not even want to attend her high school or university graduation.
Immigrant kids need to be good in math to succeed in the public school system in Ontario. I know this from personal experience. I have a PhD, but I would not have even gotten into university if had not completed my English classes in night school and summer school. The high schools in Ontario have the worst English teachers who basically act as gatekeepers for kids with immigrant parents. In university, students are graded equitably, not equally. An international students' writing must never be graded on the same level as a native-borns -- It is the first thing first-time teaching assistants and graders are taught in their training, before grading a students work, yet high school teachers grade all students equally, expecting a student in a non-English household to write like a student in a unilingual household. If she could not get an A+ in math, she had no way of getting into university in Ontario.
Her golden child younger engineering brother was NOT even mentioned in the documentary. She sounds like an only child. There is nothing about patriarchy or the gender inequity within her household. The White police officer took advantage of her obedience to men instead of realizing that she was so compliant in the interrogation, because of being a victim of male violence. Comparing her interview with a White male police officer relative to Joanne Witt's daughter is a clear indication of how a victim of male violence who is oppressed by men and has been taught to be obedient to them speaks to a White male officer. Jennifer was basically victimized by the White male police officer and treated as if she were stupid. She is a victim, not stupid. The police see things through their privilege. I hate Ontario police. Even as a woman with a PhD, I am still condescended by White male police officers like the jerk in this video when I am supposed to rely on them to help and protect me against victimization.
What bothers me even more than this documentary is that I just read "While the City Slept" where a psychopath is literally treated as a victim of a system and abusive father and household throughout the entire book. He spent three hours torturing two women, repeatedly stabbing them, raping them every way possible, succeeding in killing one of them, and he is treated as a victim by the author. The author argues he should not be in jail, but a mental hospital. An abusive father and mental illness does not make a man break into a women's home and rape and sodomize both women for hours, force them to give him oral, while he repeatedly stabs them. Why is that man getting more consideration than a woman victim who was probably just as controlled by Wong as her father. Wong dumped her for another girl, because she would not leave her parents for him.
They have no idea what it is like to be a woman without privilege and always in fear of poverty. Women who spend years trying to please their perpetually displeased husbands with their appearance, accolades, how they talk, cook, control their finances become stifled and afraid to leave. Wong controlled her like her father. He basically dumped her for another girl, if she did not leave her parents, and her father said he would disown her if she did not break up with Wong. Jen is Wendi Adelson, her parents' possession.
She was in a situation where none of the men in her life actually loved her. She was easily replaceable to Wong and a possession/object to her father. Her father wanted to rule her. He did not love her. If her father loved her, he would have wanted her to be happy, but her happiness never factored or mattered to her father.
This girl was no different than an abused wife whose husband never allows her to leave his side. In 2010, after her lies were uncovered by her father, she was under house arrest. Her living conditions were worse than prison. She was constantly reminded of her failures and not fulfilling their expectations. She was not even allowed to enter a store unsupervised. The only time she was unsupervised was when she was at piano lessons and tutoring piano a couple of times a week and her parents dropped her off and picked her up.
Her piano teacher knew something was wrong when she had a meltdown at a piano lesson and started crying a few weeks earlier and told him how her parents would not let her go anywhere unsupervised. He was her only support system and his response was just like any White native-born man, just like the police officer -- why cannot she just leave her parents and be free. She's in her twenties. Amish children do it all the time and get shunned by the entire community, but it is not the same.
Amish kids that can leave their community did not grow up being told how much of a disappointment they are, how worthless they are, how they cannot survive without their parents' financial support, and that without them they have no once. In fact, when Amish kids leave their community, they gain a community of shunned amish friends who can relate to their experiences. Jennifer did not have that.
Like an emotionally abused wife, it is easy for outsiders, especially White men, to say why did not she just leave. Emotionally abused women have scars that go deeper than women who have been physically abused by their husbands. Husbands who physically abuse their wives apologize and tell the wife they love them, which is why she goes back to him. He has issues with rage and addiction, but her pain is recognized and he does love her.
An emotionally abused women's scars are invisible. Her husband has controlled their finances for years. He has sucked any bit of confidence she has in herself. He does not allow her to have contact with her friends or family, any person who could help her to see that she is a victim or who actually loves her.
Jennifer had no one to love her, only a parent who berated her and compared her to her successful engineer brother, who was conveniently excluded from the documentary. Children who are abused are equally traumatized by the bystander parent. The non-abusive parent is as bad as the abuser, because they allowed the other parent to abuse them. To a child, a parents love should be unconditional and parents to protect their child, not instil fear that they will not love them if they do not fulfil their expectations.
Jennifer's actions were bad, but how she interacted with the police men demonstrated an inherent fear of men. She never asked for a lawyer and was afraid of the police who were interrogating her. Compare how she spoke to police to the teenager daughter of Joanne Witt who helped her boy friend kill her mother who was White. She spoke confidently with police and she was treated more like a victim, because she was White and her boy friend was guilty of statutory rape. The mother never abused her daughter.
Jennifer's interactions with police are akin to an abused wife who is confused, shocked, naive and vulnerable. Police can lie and she will fall for it, because she does not know her rights and has never had any rights. Compare Witt's White daughter to her and you can see White privilege. Witt's daughter had more control than the male police officers interrogating her. She thought they were all dumb, while Jennifer, like an abused wife is terrified of life without the abuser she had killed. The contract killing of her parents was ALL Wong. He wanted control of Jennifer, but Jennifer was afraid of life without her parents/abusers.
Wives who are oppressed for years and berated by husbands either commit suicide or end up killing their husband's too. Emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse. She was treated like a prisoner in her own home. Her parents picked her up and dropped her off at piano. At all other times of the day, she was supervised by her parents, when she was in her twenties. She was not even allowed in a grocery store alone. That is the life of an abused wife. She had no friends, no one to love her unconditionally. People do not understand that these wives do not see any other option. They have no confidence in themselves and believe they cannot survive without their husband's financial support, because that is what he uses to control and manipulate her into staying. He scares her that she will be homeless and without financial aid without him, which keeps her trapped in a marriage where her every move is controlled and supervised and she is repeatedly berated. He isolates her from any friends or family who could intervene.
Jennifer grew up in a patriarchal household. Her brother was sent to a private school, while she was sent to a public Catholic school. Her brother was the golden child, set up to succeed. Her brother had good teachers, while public school high school teachers are White people with privilege but not enough ambition to do post graduate training. They are gatekeepers, only concerned with maintaining the status quo. The only place an immigrant child, like myself, could succeed was mathematics where teacher's could not be subjective in their grading.
She struggled in math and language, failed grade 12 calculus and had her early admission offer rescinded and did not graduate high school. I cannot even imagine how she felt to have an admission offer rescinded and fail to graduate high school. I also do not understand why her parents did not even want to attend her high school or university graduation.
Immigrant kids need to be good in math to succeed in the public school system in Ontario. I know this from personal experience. I have a PhD, but I would not have even gotten into university if had not completed my English classes in night school and summer school. The high schools in Ontario have the worst English teachers who basically act as gatekeepers for kids with immigrant parents. In university, students are graded equitably, not equally. An international students' writing must never be graded on the same level as a native-borns -- It is the first thing first-time teaching assistants and graders are taught in their training, before grading a students work, yet high school teachers grade all students equally, expecting a student in a non-English household to write like a student in a unilingual household. If she could not get an A+ in math, she had no way of getting into university in Ontario.
Her golden child younger engineering brother was NOT even mentioned in the documentary. She sounds like an only child. There is nothing about patriarchy or the gender inequity within her household. The White police officer took advantage of her obedience to men instead of realizing that she was so compliant in the interrogation, because of being a victim of male violence. Comparing her interview with a White male police officer relative to Joanne Witt's daughter is a clear indication of how a victim of male violence who is oppressed by men and has been taught to be obedient to them speaks to a White male officer. Jennifer was basically victimized by the White male police officer and treated as if she were stupid. She is a victim, not stupid. The police see things through their privilege. I hate Ontario police. Even as a woman with a PhD, I am still condescended by White male police officers like the jerk in this video when I am supposed to rely on them to help and protect me against victimization.
What bothers me even more than this documentary is that I just read "While the City Slept" where a psychopath is literally treated as a victim of a system and abusive father and household throughout the entire book. He spent three hours torturing two women, repeatedly stabbing them, raping them every way possible, succeeding in killing one of them, and he is treated as a victim by the author. The author argues he should not be in jail, but a mental hospital. An abusive father and mental illness does not make a man break into a women's home and rape and sodomize both women for hours, force them to give him oral, while he repeatedly stabs them. Why is that man getting more consideration than a woman victim who was probably just as controlled by Wong as her father. Wong dumped her for another girl, because she would not leave her parents for him.
