illusionation

Oh, how I wanted to love this movie. I even just wanted to LIKE it! "Suspiria" is one of my favorite horror movies and "Inferno" is pretty damn good too. I, along with all the other Argento fans have been waiting for a few decades for him to finally finish his "three mothers" trilogy, and at last it has been done. Now I don't ever have to subject myself to another new film by the director. The best I can say about it is there are some inspired scenes of gore. The rest of the movie is Asia Argento going from one "expert" to another and hearing the history of the titular character. There is even a scene where there are illustrations describing the scene that one narrator is telling, like something out of a PBS special. What wasn't ridiculous was boring, or downright stupid. I'm not really surprised, because Argento hasn't made a great movie since 1988's "Opera", so his track record hasn't exactly been great. I suppose I was just hoping that we would make a fitting final chapter to his fascinating mythology of witches. Then there's the god-awful music. I swear there were moments when it was seriously verging on the "Bum-Bum-BUUUUUM!" variety. Forget anything resembling "The Goblins" masterful score for "Suspiria"...this was a downright travesty of canned electronic orchestra like something out of a Full Moon production. My biggest complaint would be that the first two films were very reliant on atmosphere and mystery, while this one was pretty much a standard thriller with some gore thrown in. I've decided to just pretend like I never saw this, because I still have the first two movies to enjoy. If "Suspiria" was Argento's masterpiece and "Inferno" his flawed but still entertaining second chapter, then "The Three Mothers" would be the nail in the coffin for any expectation that he will ever deliver another great film. Bummer.