VampireHorde

I saw this flick back in 1999 after I had finished high school. The trailer was quite funny and I though, "what the hell, Drew Barrymore looks cute in it!"

My first reaction was "Wow! Where have I seen this before?" Note the hint of sarcasm in that sentence. Does it mean I dislike the movie? NO! I thought this was an okay movie that took too long to get better.

What do I mean? Check it out, Drew Barrymore is an up and coming reporter with an assignment to review the high schools of modern day. Of course, her high school past catches up to her and the geekiness comes into play. As she goes undercover, we have to writhe in horror as Drew tries to re-connect with her peers and just falls flat on her face all the way.

For nearly an hour into the film, we watch Drew crumble before us and it is a BIG pain to watch. It isn't until her brother (David Arquette) joins the fray that the movie starts becoming watchable and fun. David practically steals Drew's thunder and basically scorches his way through every scene he's in. Whether he's dressing up as Tom Cruise's character from "Risky Business" for a costume ball (you know, the sunglasses, white shirt, and underwear), spreading good lies about Drew, or even talking about Drew being an heir to the Ex-Lax company, you can't help but thinking that the movie can't get any better.

Here's a good example of one of David's scene stealers: After David tricks the school into accepting him as a Senior, the first thing he does is win a coleslaw-eating contest in the cafeteria. All the cool kids in the school immediately chant his name and fully accept him as their own. Just watch as Drew watches in horror as David steal the entire scene from her (which took nearly an hour to get to)!

Again, Drew plays the geeky part so bad that she tries to make you sympathize with her as she finds peace with her past. On top of that, you've got Michael Vartan playing her almost-turning-to-a-pedophile-without-knowing-it Shakespearean teacher. He plays the straight role pretty well but then again, he ain't no David Arquette.

Same goes to Drew's co-stars: John C. Reilly (always great to watch, saw him in the local mall once which was cool), Molly Shannon (looking much sexier than she does in Saturday Night Live), and my favorite, Jessica Alba.

Speaking of Jessica Alba, let's discuss about her and her role. She, Marley Shelton, and Jordan Ladd are the original "Mean Girls". Before Lindsay Lohan came about, Jessica, Jordan, and Marley just scorch the screen with their steely-eyed hatred for anything geek-related. Watch Jessica get her mean streak going and HATE her (I say that in a good way). This is Jessica's only other flick I've seen (besides "Idle Hands") where she gets to flaunt her stuff both physically or mentally. You'll hate her feisty bitch character (and her crew) and you can't take your eyes off her finger-lickin' badness! She sticks like glue!

All in all, "Never Been Kissed" is a fun flick AFTER David Arquette kicks in the door. Jessica Alba just simmers in her feisty bitch role and Molly Shannon and John C. Reilly kill! Rent this flick if your sick of watching dumb Drew stuff like "Fever Pitch" or "50 First Dates".

Why did you not see this movie back when it came out in 1999? My excuse? I was a senior in high school and was focused more on finishing school, how about you?

This movie is a great excuse to give Devon Sawa something to do. As much as I enjoy Seth Green, Elden Henson, and Jessica Alba, all I asked myself while watching this movie was "Why the hell did they choose the guy from "Wild America"? The special effects are gory in a comedic yet sick way. Examples include: --a character pulled under the bed and being squashed in a under a second --severed body parts: ears, hands, heads --lots of weed, bongs, nutmeg & oregano I would describe the rest but its too funny to give away. As much as I think Devon Sawa is kind of wrong for the part, he pulls it off better than he did in the god-awful "Final Destination".

Not much plot is given towards the actual "hand". It just sort of "happens" and when it does, it just rolls along and we just have to accept the fact that Devon's hand is possessed by something. By what you ask? The hell if I know! I dare ask anyone to tell me about the hand subplot! Seth Green is great away from his Scotty Powers role and gets the chance to show his natural comedic talents. Same goes to Elden Henson. These two give this flick the comedic touch outside of the goofy gore. And may I mention Ms. Jessica Alba! Out of all the movies I've seen with her ("Paranoia", "The Sleeping Dictionary", "Dark Angel", "Sin City", "Never Been Kissed"), Jessica actually gets to shine with that sexy smile and that great body. Even with the limited amount of screen time that she has, you never take your eyes off that thing. Just watch the scene where Devon tries to retrieve his cat from her house and just watch as she scorches the scene the whole way through.

But in hindsight, this movie is NOT to be taken seriously! If you watched this movie and hated it, that's because you expected too much from it. This is the "Charlie's Angels" (the McG version) of horror films. It takes homages from different films and twists it in its own way. I enjoyed it in a silly way and I expect you to take note. This movie should make you laugh not writhe in horror (although it does that at times).